I am so scared that when a person just disappears that I have done or said something wrong. So it's like the person who I'm talking about is busy and anything could have happened but I tend to blame myself. Only I don't know what's going on.. I think I'm obsessed.
More details would help, but this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Whether he has a mental condition or not, you can't take on all the responsibility for everything bad that happens in the relationship. You both have to own your part when things go wrong. And if you do say or do something wrong, his reaction should be proportional to what you did, not an overreaction. He shouldn't just "disappear" and leave you questioning.
You need to sit down with your boyfriend and talk to him calmly and rationally about the issues in your relationship. Issues, not topics. Don't bring up the one time that he did a specific thing without bringing it back to the larger issue. It's easy to say that you were upset that he disappeared, but to say that when he does that you feel abandoned and alone, that's a little more vulnerable, but that's what he needs to hear. Again, don't get mad. Try to keep things calm and work it out.
If this doesn't change, you should seriously think about whether this is a good relationship and whether it is worth all of this. You may love each other very much, but maybe the two of you just don't work well together and it would be better for both of you to let it go. You deserve better than to feel like this.
I think anyone with revenge in their heart is mental honestly. But my condition has been diagnosed and I'm not a vengeful person. I fill my heart with love. It's been helpful being on medicine and I feel changed as a person. There is not nearly as much time to brood in my life as their used to be. Getting off medicine is my ultimate goal. I just have trouble finding a boyfriend who understands me and who has commitment in his heart. Thank you for your replies.
Health Street renamed this topic because they think the boyfriend has the mental condition and not me. I wasn't being clear. My condition made me really paranoid because I have trauma from abandonment and rejection... So when my friend disappeared I got really scared. However him and me are on talking terms and I feel loved so it's all good. lol.
I understand your concern.
It sounds alot like my sister. She always blames herself for all of her boyfriends leaving her but in the sence of reality.. it was THEM!
The one thing you cannot do is make yourself sick thinking you are the bad person.
There is a special guy out there for everyone (i seriouslly believe that) and once you find him.. you will know!
The key is to STOP looking so hard! Let him come to you.
He will find you when you least expect it!
I was on 3 different medications at one time for my anxiety, depression and irratability and I found a guy and I thought he was the center of my life.
Its not always so.. especially when your on meds. The meds in my case shadowed how wrong he was for me.
Coming off your medication is something that should be done under a doctors' care just in case you are doing it too fast! You dont need to go into a relapse and have to restart it all over again. Take it slow.. it will happen!