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Boyfriend wants baby

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April 30th, 2009
Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together 4yrs on May 13th! I am 18 and my boyfriend is 25... Yea, i know that sounds bad but its not what everyone thinks. Anyways, both of his sisters already have a kid and are pregnant again. They are both due in September!
Well last night we was laying in bed talking about his sisters and the kids, etc... Well out of no where he goes, "Baby.... I want a baby too!" I feel so stupid, because i couldnt say anything. I didnt know what to say. It was seriously silent for a good five minutes, then i changed tha subject..
Tha thing is, I don't know if i can even get pregnant.... I always had irregular periods. Ill have a period every 4 or 5 months if that. I have also never been on birth control until this past month. In july it will be a year since we started having unprotected sex. Ive been knowing that he was ready for a family, even though he hasnt came out and said it until now. Because a couple times this past year he would ask if i started my period yet and then say, "well, maybe your pregnant!"
Its not that i don't want a baby, its just that what if something is wrong with me and i really can't have children. What do i do then? Im so scared he's gonna leave me if I can't have him a baby... People have told me its hard to get pregnant when you have irregular periods, but i know its possiable, because it happen to my aunt and one of my friends. Its just driving me crazy. The only reason i got on birth control was hoping it will straighten out my periods then maybe I could get pregnant. I have about a week before i start my period pills, so i guess we will see. I know we are finacle ready for a child and we have plenty of room. We are jus waiting for the time to come. I havnt been worried about it, cause i tell myself, if God wants us to have a baby it will happen, but know I want it to happen, so we can have a family...

Anyone please help me. Has anyone been threw something like this or does anyone have any advice that would help me! sorry it was so long
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JavaMissus
replied April 30th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Don't have a child because you are worried that he is going to leave you....You are still so very young for such a big undertaking...I would say wait until you are ready...I am happy that I never had my first one until I was 22...Even that was young...I still had a lot of growing to do...

Just think it over good....A child must be wanted...Don't let a baby be a bartering tool....

Take care,
Caroline
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worrywart01
replied April 30th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
first of all..just bc birth control regulates your periods doesn't mean you can get pregnant..in fact birth control is made to PREVENT pregnancy..just wanted to make sure that was clear...I'm not exactly sure what your period will do when you come off of the b.c. its different for everyone I guess..because I too like you had irregular periods and I just assumed that if I came off of my b.c. it would probably be irregular again..ANYWAY...back to the topic..I agree with Caroline, do not feel pressured to have a kid...you're still very young yourself...you and your boyfriend should have a chance to live your lives while you are young together..you have PLENTY of time to have a child! Also...personally its just me BUT..if hes so willing to make such a huge commitment like starting a family w/you then...where the diamond?! why hasn't he proposed?! If it were ME in your situation I would want him to make a life long promise to me and our future family by getting married..THEN we can talk about kids...but thats just me....like i said, I really dont think its a commitment issue since you guys have been together 4 years now...so I'd say that if he wants a child then make it known and set him straight! no kids until we're married!
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hisonlylove4life
replied April 30th, 2009
Thank both of you guys! Worrywart01, we have talked about getting married and tha only reason it hasn't happen yet is me.... He wants to, but Im just not ready yet. DOn't get me wrong, i love him to death and i wanna be with him forever, but im just not ready to take it to that step rite now. I tell myself ill be ready by 2011. I don't know why, but thinking about a wedding kinda creeps me out. I know that weird coming from a female. But reading over what you wrote, does sound good. Maybe ill rethink tha whole wedding thing and bring it up to him. Anyways, Thank you again. Ill keep you updated!
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worrywart01
replied April 30th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
i dont think its weird at all, wedding stuff still creeps me out right now and i'm 22 haha..STILL not ready!..i think its very smart..it seems like he's in more of a rush than you probably because he's older..but marriage is supposed to be forever..so if you think of it in that sense then you have a LONG time to get married haha...maybe right now you should be looking into college if thats an option for you..and if not then maybe marriage is right for you right now...its all in personal choice...for me, i'm still in college..i've been dating my bf for about 3 years..and we've both agreed that until i'm done with school we wont consider it...its just best not to rush into things you know? but i wish you the best in whatever you do decide
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hisonlylove4life
replied May 1st, 2009
Worrywart01. Well i think you already know that I not long ago got my cna license. WIm looking into getting my lpn license this fall hopefully or I mite just go ahead a get my rn. The only reason i wouldnt get my lpn first is tha company im working for will pay if i get my lpn first then my rn. Its kinda a way to work your way up and you have to work for this company for a certian amount of time, because they pay for your classes. Like right now for my cna i have to work there atleast 6 months, even thought i plan on staying there longer. So, yea, i do plan on going to college rather its this year or in a couple years.
I thought about tha whole wedding thing and NO. I can't do it yet. & honestly I don't want to have a baby right now. I havnt talked to my boyfriend yet, but plan to tonight. Im sure he'll be ok with my dicision. If not, owell i guess i dont need to be with him after all...... Anyways thanks again
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worrywart01
replied May 2nd, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
oh yes! i remember you telling me this! congrats!...thats an excellent opportunity you have especially if they are going to pay for your school.. I'm in debt from loans now booooo...but its all worth it to me bc its what i wanna do...you know what though..I say chase your dream...go for the nursing thing..right now you're allowed to be selfish...my friend is kind of in the situation you were debating about! we were both pursuing nursing, she accidently got pregnant..had the baby and also had to quit her cna job to take care of the baby...now her bf is basically supporting them..she is still trying to pursue nursing..but right now its just too hard with the baby...I personally couldn't deal with that kind of pressure..I know for me when I have a kid I want to be able to put the kid first...and right now..whether its selfish or not but i want to pursue MY career and do things for me while I still have the opportunity you know? ...I think your boyfriend will be fine with it, you guys have made it this far
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starship33
replied May 18th, 2009
Supporter
he has to understand that you are 7 years younger than he is. and it's good that y'all talked about marriage b/c i see so many single women where theyre b/f's just walked out.
if you hesitated than you know your not ready yet. i thought that part was funny b/c that's something i do when i m not sure what to say.
and when you tried to get pregnant when your ready. dont be discourage if you dont have regular periods. like you said before it's plenty of people who has gotten pregnant under those circumstances. so talk your time and enjoy life.
having kids are no joke. i have only one and i struggle. i had him when i was 20 and im 32 and still taking care of him. so they require a lot of work, time, patiences, and everything else.
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candycane15161
replied June 4th, 2009
My boyfriend did the same thing to me. But we were texting each other and he randomly sends me a text that he wants a kid next year. I was so shocked that it took me forever to reply to him and I felt bad cus I do want a kid at times. I'm only 18 too, but I have something wrong with me just like you. I have polycystic ovary syndrome. It causes irregular periods too so I would go to your ob/gyn because it can be extremely dangerous it you get a cyst is you ovary that gets as big as a basketball. But nobody should tell you if you should have a baby or not because you will know if you are ready. It really depends on the person. Good luck! By the way if you end up that you have what I have, you can still get pregnant. You just might have to go to your ob/gyn and talk to them about it. Everything is possible. I know how it feels to be around other people with babies and think that you may never be able to get pregnant when thats all you really want is to have one of your own.
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callingatruce
replied June 15th, 2009
pcos + eating disorders = my boyfriend might leave me?
i came to this post because at first i thought it would really help me out with a similar situation. i too am in a commited relationship where we both definitely want kids. but between pcos (which i know has been mentioned but not really discussed here) and a personal history of eating disorders, i haven't had regular periods since they started about 11 years ago. one night by boyfriend and i were talking, and i explained that these factors might prevent me from ever being able to have kids. last night he told me he almost ended our relationship right there. i know it's not that he doesn't love me enough; he just wants kids that badly. (and no, he's not into the adoption option--he wants kids of his own.)

i am so scared and don't know what to do. i guess going to the gyno is the first step. i'm almost 24, and neither of us need a positive on a test this minute. we're not quite ready. but i don't want him to be with me for another couple years, find out we can't have kids, and have to start all over again. and i don't want to plan my life with him in the picture and in a couple years get hurt that badly.

i'm not even sure i have a question i guess. just looking to vent. thanks to anyone who has advice or thoughts for me to ponder.
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starship33
replied June 15th, 2009
Supporter
Polycystic ovary syndrome is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods, the sex hormones get out of balance. the ovaries make a tiny amount of male sex hormones (androgens), PCOS make more than normal. This may cause you to stop ovulating, get acne, and grow extra facial and body hair.

what could a person do with PCOS

exercise
Eat a heart-healthy diet
If you have blood sugar problems, try to eat about the same amount of carbohydrate at each meal.
Birth control pills. They can help your periods be regular and can reduce symptoms such as excess facial hair and acne.
An androgen-lowering medicine, spironolactone, may be used with birth control pills to help reduce symptoms even more. These medicines are not used if you are trying to get pregnant.

A diabetes medicine called metformin. It can help control insulin and blood sugar levels and reduce androgen levels. This lowers your risk for diabetes and heart disease and can help restore regular menstrual cycles and fertility.
so it is possible that you can get pregnant. it may be a challenge, but stay positive,
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Users who thank starship33 for this post: callingatruce 
candycane15161
replied June 16th, 2009
I was wondering if you think that the syndrome could go away because at time I wish it would
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