It sounds like abortion is not the answer for you, you know yourself best and if you think having a termination will cause you mental anguish then you are wise to avoid it. Yes, you are young and it sounds like it's not the ideal time for you to be having a baby right now but there are ways and means. What are your feelings on adoption?

if you don't think you could go through with an abortion then don't - explain to your bf why you feel that way and hopefully he'll respect that (I am pro-choice btw but you should be sure of that decision). give yourself some time to get used to the idea of being pregnant and keep talking to your partner.

Do you have any other support around you?

You can manage, it may seem impossible atm but, depending on where you live you should be entitled to some help financially, look into any financial assistance you could get and hopefully that should help aleviate some concern.

good luck

oh yes and adoption is an option as Jules mentioned

He can't make you get one. I think any guy who pushes that is a jerk. Besides you could always do adoption. There's no need to kill an innocent baby, its not it's fault its alive.

If you don't want an abortion, don't get one. It takes a lot out of you, and you will definitely need emotional (and physical) support, something your boyfriend sounds like he doesn't have.

Again, adoption is always an option.

Being a single parent isn't out of the question, either. There are plenty of young, single woman that do a wonderful job at motherhood.

The boyfriend bashing is unfair in this post. We don't know what the boyfriend feels or wants. He sounds just as afraid as the OP - and possibly thinks this is the best route.


To the OP: I agree with everyone here. If you do not wish to have an abortion, don't. Discuss ALL your options with someone who is supportive of you. Do you have an aunt of someone who is a little older who you can confide in? A big sister maybe?

I'm sure that I will get a ton of negative response from this, but abortion is not all that bad. It's not a baby, its a fetus, and if you are not very far along then it would be quick and simple. I am not advocating abortion, I'm simply saying that the "other way out" is not as bad as it seems.

I can understand where the bf is coming from. He's only been dating this girl for 6 months, and he's probably not ready to make a life long commitment to her, and having a child does that to two people, married or not.

Chriss makes a really good point and so does everyone else. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a decent chat, talk about the pros and cons of everything, I don't think its fair that he is pushing you but he is also in on this, he needs to know if you are going to keep it.

So you have realized that you are too young to care for a kid, that is responsible and I really respect you for that but you have also said abortion is out of the question, therefore you are left with adoption and parenting. These are big decisions to make and I think you need to keep him in the loop but at the same time you need to make a decision without anyone influencing you, I suggest highly talking to a counselor if you can.

Good luck!!!

it sounds like you don't want an abortion, so don't get one, if indead you don't want one. i'd look into adoption, if your sure you can let the baby go. i thought about adoption first when i found out i was preggo, but i wouldn't be able to let my baby go (i had already gotten attached to the baby) but if your intreasted in whats the best for your child, make a list of pros and cons for keeping the baby and giving the baby to another caring family! the conclusion should give you peace of mind that you looked out for yor baby's best interests!

well thats the chance he took by sleeping with her.

And she with him. So whats the point? That doesn't change the fact that she is pregnant.

well the point is that if he was not ready for his consequences that could arise from adult behavior he should have not slept with her.

Ah, nor should she have slept with him. Now that they are BOTH pregnant and they are BOTH too young and BOTH too scared ~ what do you propose they do?

what gives you the right to say they are too young. she is willing to take responsibility for her actions. all i am saying is if he was not ready for a possible pregnancy he should have not slept with her.

She didn't say she was willing to take responsibility for her actions. All she said was she didn't want an abortion.

And she said HERSELF that she's way too young. That's what gives Ingi the right.

He should have used a condom. She should have made SURE he used a condom before allowing him to have sex with her. Neither of them are prepared for this. They're both young and scared. They're both at fault here.

How does feb2009 even know that this is the boyfriends fault? He could of worn a condom, she could of missed her pill, these things happen. We have no clue of whose mistake this is, or if there was even a mistake made. When properly protected, the risk of pregnancy is so low that you can compare it to someone deserving to be killed walking across the street because that's the chance they took. But the real difference here is that she now has the choice to abort, to adopt, or to keep this child and he has no choice. If he wanted it, and she wanted to abort, his feelings would come second. Just as they do now that she wants it and he doesn't. (Note, I don't think he *should* have the choice to force her to abort or to keep it, I just believe in him being able to sign away any ties to a child before they're born)

i never said it was all the bf fault . they are both to blame. But if your willing to play you better be ready to pay.

I am saying that the same thing goes if you are a girl - 'If you play, you pay." Period.

Now that that is established, finger pointing does not change the facts. Pregnancy has occurred. Now what? Laying blame on one partner or another when both were present, is a waste of time and energy.