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Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > boyfriend lies about everything
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Q: boyfriend lies about everything
asked by: DeseRAE on May 24th, 2008
New User
My boyfriend will not be honest with about nearly anything he thinks would get him in trouble [or something]. He denies being with any other girl, even talking to other girls! He comes home smelling like cigarettes, but denies smoking or being around people that smoke. He has cigarette butts in his car! I mean, he lies about the weirdest, smallest things! Obviously, since he lies about trivial things he also lies about big things. We were together for a year then he left me for another girl. fast forward 10 months and we're back together. Now, at almost 2 years back together he still denies ever being with the other girl! He says he never dated her, his friends made him, but he never even talked to her.
These lies are ridiculous and I don't understand why he would lie about it. I thought maybe I made him feel like if he was honest I'd be be mad, so I explained to him many times that I understand if he wants to hang out with girls, I realize he's a human being and has been interested by other chicks. I tell him it's okay if he wants to smoke or whatever, I'm not his parent I can't tell him what to do/what not to do. You know, I just let him know I'd never get too mad as long as he was being honest.
He's always been this way. He also lies about the way people treat him.
If he's with me, he says his friends are the worst people ever, they make him do so many horrible things, they're mean to him, so on & so on.
If he's with his friends then I'm the worst person ever. I'm always mad at him or yelling at him or making him feel like crap, so on.
Of course he denies doing this as well, but I've heard him doing it. He told me he only did it because his roommate made him!
Anyways, I'm just really frustrated because I'm pregnant and I really want him to grow up before we have our baby. Other then the lying/"trash talking", he's great. He's sweet, thoughtful, works hard and seems to really care about me.
Should I get out of this now or hope he'll start being honest?
Is there any hope he'll start being honest?!
Maybe I'm overreacting? I don't know.
Thank you & sorry for rambling!
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eeyore46
replied on May 24th, 2008
Experienced User
Obviously he is very insecure and a follower - and lets his friends influence him. I would say get rid of him, but now there is a baby to think about. How old is he? Maybe he just has some growing up to do and once the baby comes, he will become responsible and realize his priorities.
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DeseRAE
replied on May 24th, 2008
New User
He's only 20. [I'm only 17 (well, I'll be 18 in July)]
I always hear guys don't mature until they're in their mid-twenties. ??
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eeyore46
replied on May 24th, 2008
Experienced User
Everyone is different and every situation is different, but I THINK if my boyfriend or husband would have every lied to me - that would have been the END! If you do not have trust - you do not have trust in this person then you do not have his love, or ANYTHING for that matter! It is so easy to lie, but it takes a MAN to stand up and tell the truth. Not only that, he continuously does it - there is a seroius problem in the relationship. No one can tell you what to do - only your heart! Time will tell!
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DeseRAE
replied on May 25th, 2008
New User
Thank you for your help :] I just really hope he can be honest so we can build trust.
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pregmumof2
replied on May 27th, 2008
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would he agree to some coulples counselling...i think you could really benefit from it,especially now you are about to be parents.do it for yourselves and your baby....its worth a try....it can really change people for the better.
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Rosie H
replied on May 27th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I think its his age mostly. Men mature slower than women and from my experience most young men dont get out of the goofing off stage until their early-mid twenties. My hubby is almost 21. Ive known him since he was 15. Him and I have grown up soo much. He still goofs off and stuff, but we both have made so much progress. Just give it time.

But it sounds like its a habit that he has and that habit needs to be broken. By you taking him back and forgiving the previous times hes lied, he now thinks its ok. He probably thinks that you love him and you will always forgive him. Well he needs to know that thats retarded and that lying so freely is very wrong. Show him tough love and dont forgive so easily. Make sure he knows and sees how much it hurts and bothers you. I dont think you should leave him, just try to let him grow up. Hopefully he grasp the reality before the baby comes. Lying isnt a good thing to pass on.
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