hey guys,
i really need some advice here!..i had put up a post in December when my boyfriend left me.the topic was (My boyfriend of 2 years left me when i shouted at him)..
to cut a long story short,

I love this guy,even after he lfet (5 months) i never stopped lovin him.Every single day almost for the last 4 months i was sufferein ,blamin myself for what had happened and also regret"oh i wish i hadnt shouted at him".
A month back,my friends convinecd me that it was no ones fault and i should stop feelin guilty and quit suffering.So,the last month i was fine..but he suddenly left me a message"hi,how u doin" 2 weeks back on one of the networkin sites.I was very happy..i though he wanted to get back togther or somethin.So i messaged back sayin im good and then he said he would call me sometime. I was excited..he did call me after a week on a saturday night(around 7 pm) and he said do u wanna catch up..he suddenly out of the blue said that without givin even a days notice ...i dint want to appear tooo eager so i said hey i made plans with my parents but we can catch up tomorrow night (sunday) he said no he has to go back to his town ( he stayed 3 hrs away)..i used to also stay in that town so i know for one that you can back go by car ealr mornin monday ..so i said then anytime tomorrow (sunday) is fine..but he said no someother time...we anyway spoke for around 24 mins on the phone and it was general stuff.I was feelin good after the conversation ..i waws thinkin maybe next week he will come again and we can meet up..


he then called me on monday and i thought "great he wants to talk to me"..but it was not for that.I had to give him a number that he had asked for on saturyda..
so i gave him the number and then i asked him.." hey you wanted to catch up right..was there anythin in particular you wanted to discuss?"
he said :" no generally.."
i said: "when you comin to this town again"
he said :"i dont know..maybe next month!"
he also said" hey..im goin to the basement now and there will not be any network there..so ill hang up"

i said "ok..sure"
and he hung up..

i was feelin very upset after this.In fact i felt like i was hit in the stomach,aand for 2nd TIME"

after that i spoke to my best friend for advice,and he said "u should stand up for yourself,you need to tell him clearly that if he wants you guys to be only friennds then tat would be difficult for me as i would always be expecting for him to ask me if we can get back togerther"


and i follwed my friend's advice
and i called him up
i told him "hey..when you messaged a couple of weeks back..i started expecting that we would get back togther..but tonight when i spoke to you and you said "generally" i realised you dont.Im not askin you if we shud get back,dont worry,but if we are friends i will always keep expecting..so its better not to be.."

he said "yeah, ok fine"
i said "take care"
he said"yeah"


after this i am not feeling good...again i am sufferin..for 3 reasons:
1)
i feel god gave me another chance and again not onlky did i blew it I ALSO hurt him really badly............
im regretin that i called him up..what if he actually wanted to get back togerther but dint know how to express it?
but i did tell him i would meet him on sunday ANYTIME right..
and also when he again called me for that number on MONDAY ..i asked him"was there anythin specfic you wanted to catch up on?"

2)do you think i was clear when i told him if we are friends i will be expecting?did he understand tht i wanted to get back together with him?or did he think i said "i dont want us to get back together!!"
I HOPE HE understood!

3)should i be callin hum again and asking clearly?

What my friend said was: if he really wanted to get back togethr.when i asked what did he want to cath up on..or when i said we could meet sunday ANYTIME...he would have met me and told me ..Also the way he spoke to me on monday..sayin he doesnt know when he will come to town again..maybe next month. and goin into basement hvae to hang up..sounded quite unintersted..

sometimes i feel yeah,he was unitersted ,but sometimes i feel "wat if he wanted to get back?"
so every day i wake up and when goin back to sleep i keep thinkin i screwed up..and feel guilty and sufferein...

Please advice guys...
I wish i could tel him one more time how much i love him and im sorry about everythin...its ok if we dont get back togetrh but please im really sorry.
but my friend (knows the whole story) and he said"why you overlookin whatever made you shout at him?"like not callin for 14 days,no birthday gift,not pickin me up from bust stop at 3 AM in the mornin(thats quite dangerous) and not evern apologising for that,not eeven touching me for a whole month..never discussed his family with me,the time he wanted a break from me for a week....





I knw i did shout at him...but everytime it was because i was scared of losing him..
and each time he got more distant..but guys ..arent fights common in relationshp?we dint fight so often either..just once in a month..and i used to always feel bad about it and i did apologise..but he just became more distant..



PLEASE advice..guys..it would reallly help me..
thank you