I just started my 6th month of pregnancy and my boyfriend dumped me.it hurt really bad because i truly loved him and i wanted to make things work. He says he still wants me and our son to live in the house he is building for us and that he cares about me and wants to support us both.I know he will be a great dad but would living together and not even sleeping in the same bedroom be a healthy relationship for us to have? i want to be friends but my feelings for him are so strong i don't know if i can handle seeing him everyday, and seeing him eventually move on............., and if i give our baby his last name and he gets remarried that woman will seem more like our baby's mom then me since they will share a common last name.should i give our son his last name? am i selfish to not want to share my baby with him just because he doesn't love me??? i know it is his baby and i know he will be a great dad, but i just don't see how living together can work. please give me some advice. rainbow
babes by the date of this you should of had your son. i wonder ho things are going???
you should move out or have your ex move out for a man to dump you whilst pregnant is an extremly sad thing to do and would you really wanna get back with someone that left you during a very emotional and vulnerable time.
its good that he says he will be there for you and your son but you need 2 b strong and be there for yourself as in the end he can up and leave you and your son so you need to start looking after you and your son and not depend on his love or what he says he will do for you.
you could give ur baby ur name if it would make you feel more comfortable thats not a biggie...but in the likely hood that you and ur ex were 2 get married then your son would be the odd one out. you could give him a double barrle last name like jone-smith for example. honestly i dont think living together would work beacuse when it comes to you to moving on its gonna be harder and may cloud u 2 being able to be good parents. good luck n i hope all goes well
yeah my boyfriend even though everyone would tell me to leave him got me pregnant we didnt plan it i was so in love with him that i turned my back on my family but recently he got angry at something and cursed me out and dumped me a few hours later he asked me to take him back he is still asking i have feelings for him he is my first love but i dont think i can take feeling like he is playing with me anymore
im nearly 32 weeks pregnant with mine and my ex partners 2nd child. Only a week ago he dumped me after a dissagreement with my mom (generally though they usually get on really well together. I was told by him that he has felt trapped and depressed in the relationship and so he wants out this came to a bit of a shock to me as even though we moaned at each other occasionally i had no idea of how bad things really were. Im finding it extremely hard to cope as christmas is only 4 days away i was really excited now i shall be spending it with my parents and my daughter. I am still despereatly in love with my ex he is staying with me untill he is able to find somewhere of his own but he seems like he is in no rush. Ive had a difficult pregnancy this time round any ache or pain known to man then i seem to have suffered with it!! Now as well as the pain im experiencing with the pregnancy im a emotional wreck my ex is more than happy 2 let me cook his tea, wash and iron his clothes etc and even sleep in the same bed as me but is not interested in any more....well occassionaly he tells me he often questions his decisions but it never goes any further than that sometimes even though its the last thing i want i try and rush him into finding his own place quicker because even though i want him so much i havent really had time to grieve and evaluate things everyday has just been a constant reminder of what iwant but cant have im exhausted and fed up of fighting away the tears everytime im around him.
im due to have my baby in 8 weeks time and i would really like to be clear headed for it.
I just dont no what to do forthe best i have no one to turn to and if i bring up the conversation we just end up rowing him going to bed and me left there crying.Has any body any advice for me please????
I have been there. Am in a similar situation right now, in fact. It is really to look at an outside situation and say "oh, this is what you should do." But I know from experience that it is always more complicated when you are IN the situation. So you have to be strong, because doing what is right and healthy is not always what feels good.
This guy is putting his needs ahead of yours or your baby's. If he can't support you now, how will he when the baby is here and you need help more than ever? In many ways, it is better to not have him at all than to have him there, playing with your heart and zapping all your strength and peace. Your baby is completely helpless and needs you, as it sounds like he may not be much support. You are not helpless. You have strength inside of you and you need to find it, because your baby is more important than him. All your love and attention needs to be turned toward that baby, and not a man who isn't sure if he loves you or wants to be there. It is hard, but you need to find a way to concentrate on strengthening yourself and preparing for your child. Put him on the back burner (if you're not ready to give him up completely), and let HIM make the moves. As for right now, you don't need him as much as you think you do. He's the one missing out. You're the one who is about to welcome a baby into this world and experience the greatest joy and love you will ever know. Hope this helps in some way.
...hi everyone i dont know if this topic is still being held and i dont know how everyone's lives turned out. but i hope it was for the best. to be honest when i read these stories i cried. i thought i was the only person in this world going threw this. im not glad to know im not but its gud to know there are people with the same feelings. heres my story...im 18 years old and im almost 6 months pregnant with my first child. the father of my child jus recently broke up with me yesterday. it may seem to soon to be hurt but this isnt the first time he left me while i was pregnant. well the night before we stayed on the phone for hours talking about our future together and i felt like i was on top of the world. last month we found out that we are having a girl. we talked about me moving back where he lives and getting our own place, about getting married, even down to the colors of our wedding and the song that will be played. i love this man so much with everything and sad to say i even put him before myself. now all of a sudden his feelings changed. he says he still loves me when i tell him he doesnt. but now he says he will just be there for our child instead of for both of us. this is hard for me b/c i imagined us being a family and sharing every moment of our babies life together. im suffering threw depression and grief. im also trying to find ways to forget about him b/c he made it clear in my mind that all he did was lie and that our love was really fake. the problem is i know i have to deal with him b/c of my daughter but will i always love him and just want him to be with the both of us as a family. i feel hopeless.
I am 8 months pregnant with my true love and he wants to get separate places and start dating me??? I am so confused and know he is trying to let me down lightly...we too had our wedding planned, ring and family excited. Over one fight because I am the bread winner and it's getting old he is only working 8 hours a week. I think I am blinded by love...I know living apart and "dating" will be a nightmare:( oh boy...
I am sorry to hear you are going through this. No you are definitely not alone. My ex ran off and did some pretty terrible things my first pregnancy only to come back and try to make it work once my daughter was born. It was he'll, though. I was basically raising two kids: him and my baby. Genius that I am, I got pregnant again right away. The whole time I kept thinking he would change. I finally got the courage to leave him and move in with my mom for a while, who offered me true support. I still thought he would change and we would make it work.
Of course, he waited until my baby's due date to break up with me and tell me he never loved me. He promised to be there for the baby's birth, but of course turned off his phone and refused to take my calls once he found out I was in
labor. And so it goes. It has been a series of nonstop disappointments and heartbreak with this man. I am finally letting go of the fantasies of what could be and accepting the reality of what truly is. It is a painful process, believe me, but once you get off the merry-go-round, you are on the road to healing. We are obviously all women who have a lot of love in them, and we are giving it away to the wrong people. You and your children should get the most. I am reading a book called Women Who Love Too Much, and it is helping me to see why I chose this bad relationship and why I need to let it go. I would highly recommend it for any woman hung up on a jerk and keeps hoping he will change. Good luck to all of you who are going through this. It does get better, but you have to face reality first.
i always have the idea that he will change and want to be with me by the time our baby is born but when that time comes i might be to the point where im just going to say no and im just here for our child like he told me months ago. i turned my phone off completely just so i can avoid texting or calling him on my own. but now i find myself waiting for my house phone to ring hoping it would be him. i also still check his myspace page even though i took him off my tops. its like i want to get over him and not be in love with him but i dont want to b/c i think its still hope for us. and the fact that i have a baby by him and he has my hear makes me just want him even more. but i dont want to want him anymore.
This sounds so much like me. I still hope he'll call, even though I turn my phone off all the time to not have to be disappointed because he rarely does. I did the same thing with Facebook. It is just insane, but I am getting better at getting on with my life and enjoying myself a bit more. I can't tell you that your man won't change and be the person you want him to, but the chances of most men changing are slim. No matter what happens, I truly hope you focus on your happiness and health first and foremost. You can't waste your life waiting for him
in anguish. Believe me, I have been there. I know, easier said than done, but I really hope you try. Hang in there.
thank you i will try my best. im really looking forward to my baby for strengh i know when she is here everything will change for the best. if he is with me or not. i wont need his love once my baby is here. hopefully
alone1, im 19 and just turned 25 wks pregnant. the babys father was a foreigner in my country and well 2 dys ago i found msgs that he had another girl bk in his country and things saying he loves her and misses her....when i told him that i knew everything and even translated all the words he still couldnt bring himself to tell me the truth, he said its better i dont say anything because i lie. he says he doesnt rly love her and wants me bk to forgive him but rly how can i? its one thing being in a relationship with someone and going of getting drunk and ending up going out with someone but to actualy have someone "waiting" for you bk in ur old country. i dont know. i really miss him after all i have his baby in my stomach.. i have part of hiim always gonna be with me...i dont know what to do he doesnt want to say the truth which probably means the relationship with this girl had to be going on while we were together. even worse that someone could do that when its his child im carrying
It is really hard. I am 35 years old. My ex is 48. He has other children. He is single. He has been my family's neighbor all my life, therefore known me all my life. Three of my cousins have married 3 of his brothers. He chased after me since I was 15. I finally gave us a chance this year. Before getting intimate, I had the conversation with him of what if I got pregnant. He promised he would be there for me. 4 months later, I found out I was pregnant. I told him the day I found out (I was 4 weeks along). He got angry and hung up on me. Haven't heard from him since. I am now 21 weeks along. It still hurts so much because I just never thought that with all that history, that this would ever happen to me. I have texted him to let him know that I am having a boy, but I still haven't heard from him. It really sucks when a man does that to you. I don't have wise words to give you because I sometimes can't even see past this. Just know that there are those of us out here who understand.
For all of you who are going through extremely tough times, I pray that you find the strength to move on past these men who do not deserve you. Be proud of who you are and keep your head held high - you are stronger than you think. Find your strength in God. If you put your faith in Him and pass on all your worries to God, you will be amazed at how great things will turn out. I've been in your shoes before and didn't make the right decisions at the time. But now I'm married to a wonderful man who is completely supportive, loving and caring. You need to believe in yourself that you will get through this confidently and successfully. Trust in yourself that you can handle this. It will be tough and it will take time to move on past the pain of being abandoned by someone who is meant to be there for you. However, the hurt subsides after a few months and then you will become resentful toward your ex. Eventually, you will thank him for leaving you because of how great your life is now without him in it. You will find love again - this is guaranteed. There is nothing more attractive to a man than a single mom who is confident, strong and independent. You will realize this - all in its due time. Take your time to grieve the loss of your relationship. Do so in a healthy way - talk to your friends and family. Or write down your feelings. Get all the negative energy out of your system and out of your life - once that happens, the light will shine and show you your path. Sending you love and energy. I know that you will be ok.
Well, I am a man who left his pregnant girlfriend. She entrapped me. We had been broken up for 2 weeks when she called me and told me she was pregnant. I met her that day, somewhat optimistic and ready to make it work. The first words out of her mouth were "I wasn't going to tell you until the baby was born....I don't think I want to be with you....and I know I want your money for child support".
I tried to work thru that and stuck with her for 2 weeks (went to 2 dr. appointments, was there for her, etc.). She was acting over the top entitled (I was in the process of renovating my home and she demanded her own bathroom and a custom made closet) and treated me like an ATM machine and had absolutely no empathy for how I was feeling (we were together almost 3 years). Come to find out, she had been taking pre-natals for 6 months and got off the pill because I told her she would be a "good mom". On top of all that, she was physically abusive to me over the last 30 days (I had had enough hence the breakup) and she had previously been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (I was there with her thru thick and thin).
Anyway, I ended up filing a protective order against her and am fighting for full custody of child because she is nuts. The hard part is, I can't talk to her and as a father of 2 boys (11 and 13--shared custody from my only marriage of 19 yrs.) this really pains me because I want to nurture her and the child.
My point is....men sometimes leave for a reason. In this case, it is best for my child long term.
I am 2months pregnant with 3 kids already my partner dumped me because I told him i would'nt get an abortion.He said I was trying to trap him and that he will not talk to me ever again or have anything to do with me ...he is not ready for a child he said....Well my sister ran into him and he said he has a new gf and she is 1.5 months pregnant with her it wasnt exspected he said but they are very happy omg and he just meet her..I was furious after that so i texted him and he sent me a pic of her which i could careless about how beautiful she was but he made a point to rub in into my face call me a loser say the baby isnt his blah blah..me and him have not only been lovers but great friends and now im absolutly nothing .I feel terrible but he is so selfish i dont know how people can get away with treating people so cruel .So here I am bare foot and pregnant.I know i have a struggle a head of me and I will make best of this mess But i am happy I dont have to deal with him and glad someone else does If anything i feel sorry for people like that..