This tug of war with the emotions is common in relationships with a person that has bipolar disorder. You are not alone and many other people struggle with the same issues you speak of.

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. The dose is started low and increased every few weeks until a therapeutic dose has been achieved. During the dose adjustments it is possible that your bf may experience some mood disregulation. His moods may shift and he may become unstable. Hopefully, in time, this will improve and he will become more stable.

It sounds like your boyfriend cycles every 3-4 months. Agitation and irritability are frequently associated with manic episodes. The brain goes into overdrive during these episodes. The thoughts fire rapidly and this can cause irritation and agitation. Some people experience irritation when they are depressed or entering a depressed state. Low energy, sleeping, loss of interest in things that normally are enjoyable, feelings of despair, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, social isolation, refusing to leave the house, chronic complaining, belittling others... all associated with depression. Mania presents with impulsive behavior, hypersexuality, spending sprees, rapid speech, pressured speech (just won't shut up), superiority, grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, increased energy, irritable moods, and increasing agitation as the manic episode progresses (probably due to neural agitation secondary to decreased sleep). In between the manic and depressed episodes or cycles there may be periods of "normal" mood states where the moods are more even. Change of season seems to be a common time that people with bipolar disorder experience mood changes. Spring will often be the start of manic episodes. Conversely, Autumn will mark the start of a depression episode.

Do some reading. Educate yourself on this disorder. It is difficult to deal with when you have no idea what is happening to the person you love. I find it easier to more forgiving of the obnoxious behaviors because I know where they are coming from and try not to take it personally.( I do not have a significant other that has bipolar disorder so I don't deal with the dynamics of an intimate relationship.) Some behaviors are easier to overlook and some should not be overlooked or tolerated.
Once you have greater understanding of the disorder you may be able to talk to your guy about what is going on with him. He may not be able to identify all the emotions and moods he feels or why he takes all his irritation and agitation out on you. Generally, individuals with bpd will take out all of their poor moods on those they love because it is safe. They know they will be loved even when they are in a manic or depressed mood.

Try to hang in there. Things may improve in the next several weeks as the medication has a chance to reach therapeutic levels. His mood will stabilize and he won't act out so much. This is very difficult to deal with. Finding a support group can be very helpful. You can lament, cry, get advice.... We do that here but sometimes you need more than a cyber hug. Hugs to you anyway! We are here. Ask any questions and we can try to help. Let us know how things are going.

I think it's amazing that you've tracked your bf's moods to determine when his cycle comes around. I have yet to determine when my husbands' moods are coming around. However, I have given hubby his own "man cave" area (the guest room) & he is able to retreat there when he's feeling anti-social. Also, my husband is taking Ativan (as needed) to bring him out of his dissociative states & that regulates his moods.

I think the suggestion to read as much as you can about this disorder was a great one. The more we know, the more prepared we can be for the fallout, should it come.

Also, learning what you can take & what you can't take is important. You simply must care enough about yourself to realize that if your bf's comments about leaving you are hurtful, you have a right not to expect that type of behavior, regardless of his diagnosis.

I offer an example of this: My husband used to think it was a good idea to YELL during disagreements. I did not appreciate it & told him so. Things continued for a short while until I walked out on an argument after asking him to stop screaming. It was the most stressful thing I'd done. However, it yielded the results I wanted. I had followed through with my promise to walk out if he was yelling. He no longer yells b/c he knows I'll leave the room again & he will be left alone to argue with himself!

Hang in there. Things will work out.

BYD

My 6yo son & I (43 yo)recently had to move & now live with my BF in his house.
As I previously posted-BF struggled for a long time, made his own life a mess, bad decisions etc...until recently(49 yo).
He admitted he needed help medically & psychologically, he reached out for it & of course I was here to advocate & help him.
He was diagnosed BP (w/ADD/depressive tendencies) & is taking Depakote 1000mg a day.I've been his main support in all ways.
He admits he never would have followed threw with getting himself help if it wasn't for me & he gives me big kudos for that.I give him tons of credit for helping himself & remind him of his progress.
We knew eachother for a long time as friends before getting involved.I knew I was in love with him, but he claimed he didn't want a relationship.He has since told me he has given in about that & that everyone constantly tells him they think I'm really cool & that I'm great for him.He is close to my son & has always wanted a son of his own.
Overall we are a perfect match & get along very well, but there are some major issues.
He is a tough as nails Marine & can be a little overbearing about some things at times.He started having E.D. before the meds & now it's worse.
I never know what kind of mood he will be in from day to day. Sometimes he acts "normal" & willingly acknowledges his bad mood days & actions,as if it's like an apology of sorts.
During this time he will act more interested in me, says he really cares about me or really likes me right now or admits he loves me, but overall he has a hard time showing love & affection -it's like he's scared or feels it is a sign of weakness. The only time he really opens up & shows his true feelings & affections is when he drinks.Yes he drinks & most of the time he is a happy drinker.
He can be very funny,caring,loving & kind one day& then turn into an overreacting,stressed out,mean,cruel,selfish,inattentive,unfeeli ng,abusive acting jerk the next.
For instance, he will go without kissing me,holding me or touching me at all for days/weeks even though we sleep next to each other.I have told him that it bothers me & is hurtful. Most of the arguments we have are about that. We've discussed him taking something for the E.D. & what could be causing it.He says he knows it has nothing to do with me & he knows I like to cuddle at night.
How I got to writing this right now?
In the middle of the night, I laid there next to him, half awake wondering why he withholds affection from me. I hit the clock by mistake & it started making noise. I got momentarily annoyed & shut it off.He laughed a little & I said something about not being able to sleep & feeling alone. He immediately got pissed off, jumped up out of bed saying I'm not alone & abusively , then returned to call me a retard & grab his garb-retreating to his fav couch.
My reaction-I started to cry & said I guess I am a bed person, retard if I'm crying over an a bed person retard because it is normal to want to be held, touched & kissed once in a while.I just laid there crying & eventually got up, made coffee & came online.
Is there anyone out there who has had this type of problem & if so, what did you find to be helpful?It's not all about sex, it's about intimacy or the lack of.Any advice?

in the above message-sorry

My bf (s0-called fiancee) and I have been dating for 8 months and were having a great start for 2 days until he started complaining he has never been so miserable and would rather be working. I just listened and he was like another person when he woke up late. I had heard it all before when he began the blame game how we are not right for each other even though we were like soul mates from the start. He is also cold/hot in bed and can be so affectionate when he first sees me lives out of state and we see each other every 2 weeks).He repeats all the reasons we should stop dating including distance, being a dependent simply because I have 3 kids and have help from state, need to get a job (in my last year with only 3 classes left to get special ed certification), his kids are 15 and 30 while mine range from 7-12, my ADD drives him crazy, my lactose intolerance, I prefer tea and he's a coffeeholic, etc. He says our ying/yang keeps us balanced and we are both active physically and outgoing humorous people. I truly love this person and listen to his problems always even when he doesn't know when to stop talking and blames me. Any suggestions and should I keep taking him back even when every 2-3 months he calls it quits?