im goin thru it right now, im 7mnth pregnant n jus found out my fella has bin avin an affair, even when i questiond him bwt it loads of times he swore he hadnt even kissed another woman since the day we got together, he is treating you like a mug, my advice is get out of there its guna be realy hard but itll be harder the longer you leave it. everythin u said happend to me, he stopped huggin me n holdin me in bed, pics on his phone the lot, get out u deserve more

Dear god, this is what you call guilt trips.

I went through something very similar, ill explain what happened and what I did..

My hubby(ex we will call him) didn't like what I was doing, in regards to the way I act(I'm a tomboy)he become unrational, mean and just an arse. I had found out he cheated on me when I went in for a post-natal check-up and needed meds, I came home and asked him very politly "is there something I need to know? He responded with no, so I explained what happened and he said" maybe I got it from work(he works in a hospital.) I tried to go for the whole clean slate thing but I actually stopped caring for him, almost looking for someone else and that is when I told him I didn't care for him anywhere near what I did. finally the fighting began and I left, moved in with a friend for a few months. Almost right after I left he had a girlfriend and I found out before hand he had gone around telling people we had separated. Now don't get me wrong, when I left he could do as he pleases but he would call me up and blast off about his girlfriend/the girl he was seeing, I knew more about her and I had never met her, even got to see pictures of her.

Anyway we got back together, seeked marriage counselling (a whole 1 time) and well then he had to take off for four months(work). He came back and I was showing people pictures off my camera of my kids, someone went backwards and we found other pictures again. The fighting never stopped and I could count down the days till he left, that was like christmas. What comes out of his mouth are phrases like
-I do everything
-You're lazy the house is a mess (yeah but he hasn't done anything)
-you are a parasite/leeching off of me (I was on EI caus eI was laid off)

And a few other statements but the point is I know what I do and hence the argument, to the point I walk out and leave.


Its a repeating cycle, Im just happy I am who I am and it didnt hit me deeper.... It had nothing to do with me not arguing or standing up for my beliefs, it was the fact that it become emotionally and physically draining, when you have to think about things or argue/fight all the time.

Leave hun, its not worth it, there are many good people out there, you just have to find them, you will never have enough time to meet the billions of people on this planet.

I hope you dont mind me sharing I just hope it doesn't go to far, once you have lost trust for someone, you shouldn't be with them..


Leave is all I am going to say

A few suggestions
-Seek a counsellor or social worker (they work wonders or at least try to)
-If you really want to make it work, wrte down on a paper who did what, write equal tasks for both of you and put your initials underneath, that way it is fair
-seek out relationship counselling if you can(it doesn't mean it will work but at least you tried.)
-try to take your mind off of it, get into some new hobbies(don't ignore it though)
-Don't make out all men to be the same, I have some incredible guy friends we're just not compatible.


I still find it hard because he actually has a great personality but at the same time, I can also see the other side prevailing, its a double edge sword that cages you in.

I dont know what else...
Feel free to msg me, my minds clear right now, do you have kids?
I really hope you didnt mind me posting what I did, Im just hoping its not a repeat of events similar to mine!!

I don't know if he feels quilty or bad that he blew up at me the way he did over such a small thing, but I think that's the reason why he's avoiding me. he's done it before when he's gotten upset at me he.ll go off and mope and avoid me.

iwe had a small chat via txt because he was at work. and I asked him where do I stand, because he is making me feel like im nobody to him right now.

he said it true he's been avoiding me because he's afraid he won't be able to handle another argument. he doesn't want to risk it. he said were not breaking up but that were not in a good place right now, he knows our relationship is strained. and also that's the reason he's been going out wit his friends more.

he said "im not trying to hurt u but u know I deal with things this way, " and its true I do. but atleast I know were I stand now.

his trip couldn't have come at a better time.we both need a break away from each other to be able to decide what to do when he comes back.

I noticed last night he came back wit his friends but he started calling me baby, and last night he finally held me as we slept.

so we just do need some time away from each other. but he's going off to see his baby mama so...ugh..yea lol and how things are between us right now I can only trust him not to say anyting of what's going on to her or his buddies.

thats in a difficult situation you're in being involved with a man who has a child with another woman...is she sending him pictures of herself? thats inappropriate definitely, if its of her and his kid i can see how that can be justified you know...a relationship most definitely takes work..and it seems like both of you are trying to work on things, its give and take...i agree that you should probably give him his privacy unless you REALLY believe hes hiding something...my boyfriend and i went through a similar situation, he lost my trust a while back..he didn't cheat on me, but he was sending inappropriate texts which i found..and honestly...it has taken a LONG time to fully trust him again...for a while I'd continue to look through his phone,he'd find out..get upset..we'd get into a huge argument...sometimes...if you're gonna be with the person and work things out, you just gotta let the past go and just leave it alone and move on, why bother arguing about the same thing over and over again...so long as you've discussed this situation and expressed how you feel about the situation, i'd just leave things alone...hopefully things will get better with the two of you

exactly how i feel worrywart01, he hasnt cheated on me but jus by asking his baby mama for pics is how i lost my trust in him. its been hard getting it back and everytime i do something else happens. we just really need a break, he leaves in 4 days and im more worried than ever. his ex (baby mama) hasnt sent him pictures(to my knowledge) heck..he hasnt heard from her in 4 months (from what hes told me) thats why hes going out there to see whats up. i just dont like that hes leaving and were still not in a good place in our relationship. by the way i didnt mind her sending pics of his kid, but once it was tit pics i said enough.

he promised he would erase anything innapropriate she would send and i would stop looking thru his phone. a fresh start but i guess it wasnt.

i just hope nothing stupid or bad happens when hes out there visiting whats-her-face and hanging out with his old military buddies.

wow..yes her sending pictures of herself topless is extremely inappropriate if i were you i'd be furious as well...i guess i can see how he can play the "its not my fault" card since he "cant control what she texts" BUT he does need to let her know that he is taken and these pictures need to stop, i dont blame you for being upset...if he's leaving in 4 days you still have time to talk things out you know? maybe a nice break will be a good thing, i wouldn't let him leave on bad terms though..so try to work things out

deffinately, things were good when we tlke things out and made our promises to each other. he promised to erase anything she would send that doesn't pertain to his kid. its true rite now we are a little weird around each other.

we ended having sex, but now he's acting like nothing happened. like he didn't push me aside, ignored me, wouldn't even talk to me, or blew up in my face. he's just acting...I don't know...non chalant. and im scared,md, and cautious cause I don't kno what t think...are we alright? is he just acting ok jus to make me feel better?

he hasn't even kept me updated about the trip, like I don't have the rite to know. I found out today that he's already made lodging arangements with his friend. nothing..I don't kno what's goin on