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boyfriend has schizophrenia

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Hi I'm 29 years old and a mother of a 5 month old son. His daddy suffers from schizophrenia and manic depression. He was doing really good when I was pregnant and when I turned 6 months pregnant he started going down hill. He lives in Florida and I'm living in Tennessee for the time being. He called a couple days ago and he sounded really good. He was staying at a halfway house and taking his meds, but he messed up and got kicked out on Sun. He called me today and he was talking about how the Marines want him to fight the Taliban and the UFC wants him to do underground fighting. I suffer from chronic depression. I don't know what to do. I want to help him but I don't know how. The hospital said if he goes back there they are gonna put him in a State Hospital. What should I do? Should I give up or should I stick it out and pray that he gets better. I want him better for his sake and our sons. When he's regulated on his meds he's such a good person. I have a hard time keeping up with him. We been together for almost 2 years and I never knew anyone with his condition. So I'm new to this.
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First Helper jesusss
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replied December 5th, 2008
Supporter
Schizophrenia is a severe, lifelong brain disorder. If you're willing to learn about it, and make a number of personal sacrifices for his good, then I'd suggest that you pursue the relationship. Otherwise, it might be time to work on your own health and seek treatment for depression. I'm not sure, Crystalz, if a relationship with a schizophrenic person is easy...but if you're ready to be a caregiver and learn a compassionate response to things that might confuse you, the relationship might be what you want to do.

What does your heart say?
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replied April 11th, 2009
i just met a great guy that has schizophrenia, he is such a sweetheart and we have a really strong connection and i have a 2 year old with another man but he is so good with my son, i love him very much and if your in love and he is taking his medication and seeing his counseller than he should be ok, i say go for it, you may regret it if you dont!!!
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replied April 11th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
find out more from professionals.
As a schizophrenic, I would say no, do not have a relationship with a schizophrenic, it is way to risky. You don't know what he might become over time, it's to risky. If you do this, you should take into consideration that he may become someone that you just have to send away or cannot live with, or cannot contribute all that much. Not only that, this medication is less reliable than you know, at anytime he could have an episode, hallucinate or become delusional, maybe even violent because of these things. In conclusion, you don't know enough, don't do it.
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replied August 2nd, 2011
Thanks woops for your honest feedback. I was told by a mental healthcare professional that she had clients that did infact have a healthy marriage where one was schizophrenic. So when I met my guy in recovery, we were great friends for a long time and we naturally fell inlove and got engaged. Lastnight he assaulted me after being the most wonderful man I had and my best friend. It is good to hear your opinion from a person with this condition. I called our wedding off. I realize this is an unsafe situation for me.
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replied October 7th, 2009
my boyfriend of a year and a half has schizophrenia. most of the time, he is the beautiful, unique, interesting, sensitive person i am crazy in love with. but when he has outbursts every now and then, sometimes it can really hurt. the last time it happened, i was crying my eyes out and he just started laughing. then, i didnt know that this was a symptom of this disease as well. but i love him more than anything, our lives fit like a puzzle and he agrees. but i feel so helpless. i wish i could just make him better.
for anyone who is thinking about being in a relationship with someone who is schizophrenic, i dont suggest you do. things can be confusing and their outbursts can really hurt your feelings. but if you are in love with someone who has it,learn all you can about it and understand that your partner does not mean the hurtful things they say or do.
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replied September 21st, 2010
i have been dating my boyfriend for some time now and i just learned he has Scitsofrenic. I dont know what i should do. I been looking everthing up to understand this disease. I love him sooo much and i dont want to lose him. but i also dont want him to turn and hurt me. What should i do. please help me.
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replied June 22nd, 2011
My boyfriend of a year has been recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, it was something we both knew was coming. As he was diagnosed with drug induced pyschosis 3 years ago. And all symptons of that should only last upto a year so i pushed him for second opinions from other pyschs. Our relationship is beautiful and I love him very much so, we are planning on spending our life together. I mean if you love him enough then love is extraordinary thing and no obsticle should stand in the way. with the correct therapy, medication and enough support from loved ones nothing is impossible. I know some days can be horrible for both of us, specially when he is at work and has a mini episode but when he does come home, we lay on the couch, turn our phones off put on a movie.. or even some days when its worse he will just lay next to me and cry, its so upsetting I didnt know how to deal with any of this but i love him to much to see him upset and cant even bare the thought of leaving and bailing half way through. stay strong, and if it is true love you have then stick by it.
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replied August 2nd, 2011
Hi Lil_miss_pixie.
How are things going for you now???
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replied July 14th, 2011
Crazy Love
It's been four years since my boyfriend and I started dating. I have worked in a half way house as a behavioral specialist, so I thought I knew what I was getting into. I had romatic ideas about love conquering all things...and for the most part love does. You will spend the rest of your life walking him through every day tasks that seem simple to you...only for him to forget easy steps. If you have kids, you will wonder where they will go if you died tomorrow. You know their father WILL NOT beable to keep them safe and healthy on a daily bases. How and when do you tell your kids about their father's illness? When you attend doctor's appointments, their focus will be on your partner every time and not on you...this tends to feel lonely. Find local mental health groups to join. At an early end of that love life he will have to live in a group home and be watched around the clock by a staff of behavorial specialists. The effects of meds don't last forever, they wear off over time and he will need more and more meds until they stop working all together. Also, most of the side effects of these meds appear later in life. You will be in you 40s or 50s visiting him in a group home and talking to him about a life he might not remember in full detail. He will spend the last decade of his life having misplaced fear of the group home staff and being angry at love ones because they refuse to take him home. Have a big support system that is understanding and patient. Remember, not all family members will support you. As a matter of fact, when you run to your family to express common frustration they may take that oppurtunity to tell you to dump him...every time...all the time...for the rest of your life. Again lack of support feels lonely. All people deserved to be loved...especially the mental ill. My boy friend is the most strong, loving, and REAL person I have ever met in my life. What you see is what you get, he is not able to hide anything. Be realistic (you will not have romanic novels written about you) build some fortitude and brace your self for a very bumpy ride. Best wishes.
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replied September 10th, 2011
My boyfriend of 8months who i love dearly just told me last night he has Schizophrenia. At the moment he is in bed and i am looking up information on it. I knew he was on medication but i thought it was for depression. I don't know what to do. his family don't know and he doesn't want to hurt them. Please give me some advice.
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replied September 12th, 2011
Active User, very eHealthy
He is the sick one and he doesn't want to hurt them?

Hell really is for heros isn't it.

Be careful what you read online, most of it is complete malarchy.

Schizophrenia can be learned in certain ways, by watching monkeybone for instance, that would be a good start, have you ever seen the movie monkeybone? That's pretty much it, or really close to it, the dreaming scenes take me way back to my "psychosis". You could also watch the rite, emily rose, last exorcism, possibly even harry potter, there are some hints in that one as well, perhaps your boyfriend should watch the scenes on "aquamancy". That's what it's called in the movie, also the imperious curse might be worth looking into.

It's crazy what they are putting in movies these days.
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replied August 2nd, 2011
10293 Thank you deeply.
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replied August 2nd, 2011
Active User, very eHealthy
"Romantic" feelings. Funny.

Love is blind? Anyone remember that one? It can't be good if it's blind can it? Because if you could see it, you would probably get a bit nauseous.

Who would ever date or marry us by the way, we are delusional, we hallucinate and hear voices, we are on medication that makes us sick, of course that isn't going to be good. Not to mention most of us are just stupid and good for absolutely nothing except tobacco consumption, if only that were a high paying job. Oh, and not to mention the demons.

I think that the animals got it right on that one, just leave the retards in the dust, it's the best thing for them, they have no chance, thus sayeth our mommy nature.

I've been trying to figure out what a schizophrenics best option is, and it's pretty clear, our lives are not worth it, and perhaps we are better off dead. But let us continue this little game of charades, I always liked that game.
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replied October 9th, 2012
Being in a relationship with a schizophrenic
I was in a relationship with a schizophrenic for two years and he just had some bad news about his son moving away... He seemed to take the bad news ok but about a month ago he just lost it and has completely left me and wants nothin to do with me. He believes I'm against him and that I hurt him emotionally and physically and it makes me very sad that he really believes this. I've tried talking to him and explaining to him that none of what he says happened but he is convinced himself that I'm a bad person. I don't know what to do or even say. And his family doesn't help with the situation, they are against our relationship because his mother doesn't want him to leave her side. If I knew that this was going to happen I would have never proceded with the relationship. He seemed perfect and we were in love but schizophrenia can really debilitated their way of thinking. Now I'm in therapy trying to get over how sudden he just left and never came back.
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replied January 18th, 2013
I have been with my boyfriend for over three years now. About a year and a half into our relationship he began to have some issues with certain people and large groups. He would get suspicious at first and as it progressed he would have auditory hallucinations. He would hear people insulting him when no one said anything. One night he randomly punched someone in the face at a party and spent the entire drive home screaming at me and insulting me. Things would always get better for a bit and then another episode would happen. about 6 months after that we began to hit rock bottom. One night the can opener broke and he lost it. He broke a full length mirror and became hysterical, throwing dishes around the kitchen and just screaming. He eventually grabbed a kitchen knife and began to put his shoes on claiming he was going to murder his coworkers. (his job causes a lot of paranoia for him). This was the last straw. I called the psychiatric department of a hospital and told them what was going on. I knew it was schizophrenic. His mother has been institutionalized since he was eleven with multiple mental disorders. He agreed to get help and he has been on anti anxiety medication and and psychotic medication now for about 2 1/2 months and it has really helped him a lot. But, everyday is a struggle. I wonder is I should stay with him. If I do decide to stay with him, I worry about having children with him as the condition seems to be partially genetic. I can't seem to discuss it fully with throse around me because no one would understand. I don't know what to do a lot of the time but try and support him through his treatments. But everyday there is always that worry that another incident will occur
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replied January 25th, 2013
I am a schizophrenic.....Well just stay with your partner and make him believe that there is no such thing asschizophrenia because there. Really isn't... Your partner should start fighting it if really wants to leave it behind
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replied February 10th, 2013
married 8 yrs
First off I have been with my husband eight years. He has schitzophrania and I wouldn't change him for the world if u trully love the person u will not let the illness get in the way although it is hard sometimes but what isn't hard in life pol fear this illness way to much when it shouldn't be feared when they r sick they r not them they have no memory of any of it when. They recover
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replied September 2nd, 2013
I have been with a man with schizophrenia for 5 years. We just got married in march and we have 3 children. He is AMAZING when he is taking his medication like he is supposed to.he is not taking his medication he seems completely crazy and irrational. he gets in these moods where he doesn't care about his family or our well-being. 3 days ago he went to work and he didn't come home. He sent me a text message that said I'm leaving you and told me where to find my car. Had to find my car 2 hours away and when he has an episode he always goes out and sleeps with numerous women. I would not recommend staying with someone with schizophrenia. He's constantly making up lies about his past. He said he used to work for the Mafia and kill people. He says all kinds of crazy things. I thought I could help him.but there's no helping someone with this illness.everytime it gets better its just going to get worse again. I love him but I'm done. You have to do what's best for you and your children.
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replied December 30th, 2013
When i met my boyfriend he was the sweetest ever. It''s going to be a year this coming February. He''s the best man ever,our age difference is im 31 he''s 43 but i love him and want to help him but he is too much at times. He''s very jealous, doesn''t want or like people around all the time. Latey he''s been very insecure thinking im going to leave him for another guy. I don''t know where or why he thinks i would do something like that. I would never hurt him or disrespect him because overall he''s a good person. But at times i want to give up, i don''t want my son or daughter to think he''s weird or crazy so i let him know when he''s too much and he usually gets it together. I learned that it''s difficult for someone who is schizophrenic to be around people cuz they fear the worst all the time
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replied February 9th, 2014
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. He's always had substance abuse problems and anger issues, so we just assumed the two went hand in hand. The other day, he looked at me after one of his episodes and said, "That wasn't me." He had been punching himself in the face and told me that he was punching someone else. I love him, but I honestly don't know what to do anymore. He makes me bawl my eyes out and then 10 minutes later acts like nothing has happened. He says that we're soul mates and that we're going to be together forever. But during his episodes, he says that he doubts us and he thinks about breaking up with me all the time.
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replied February 22nd, 2014
My Mother's a Schizophrenic and my dad left her. She was having her episodes and drove my dad away.He didn't understand what was going on. She was running us crazy. I was 7 at the time and blamed my mom for breaking the family up. I am a women now and have been educated about this devastating brain disorder. My mom is getting the treatment she needs. I has a good relationship with her. It has been rocky in the past with my boyfriend in the picture. In one of her episodes is called the cops and said he's holding me hosic so I can't see her. At first he didn't understand. See was having episodes and relapsing every year. I was embarrassed as a child because she wasn't' keeping her higene and appearance up. Today she is doing good and going to a caring days program for the mentally ill elderly. We are a
happy family again!!!
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