Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
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Boyfriend dosent like white people Posted: 06-12-08 08:29am
Ok, 1st off, i am white and i date a black
guy..... we have been together for only
about 6 months or so now. (I know thats
not that long) we have been friends for
about 10 months. He's the one who
approached me and got my number so we
could start being friends. i always
noticed, i hardly ever seen him hanging
out with white people and almost all him
friends are black. I never said anything
to him, i just kinda ignored it cause i
thought that if he was racist he would
want to talk to me. well a couple months
ago we got into our "1st" argument and he
called me an "ungreatful white B***h"..
YEA. Then he brought up the whole slavery
thing and it was like he was blaming me
cause im white. i told him i had nothin
to do with slavery, it was way way way
before my time. im not racist at all,
obviously. I seriously dont care what
color you are.. Just me thou. Ok to get
to the point. Ive noticed he is keeping
himself from getting to close to me, like
he wont open his heart up to me or
something. We have a lot of fun together
and we are happy atleast i think so, but i
have a really hard time talking to him
about our feelings and stuff. I have
opened up my heart to him, but he will not
open his up to me and it gets really
frustrating, not knowing how he really
feels. So last week i asked him what was
the deal? He came out and said, "im
sorry, i really like you and im falling
for you, but I cant and will not be in a
serious relationship with a white girl and
their is no way i will ever marry a white
girl....." It hurt my feelings
soooooooooo, bad, i seriously went home
and cried myself to sleep. Why is he with
me if he dosent want to be with a white
girl? i feel like he is just wasting both
our times.
Please anyone with any advice help me....
I have poured my heart out to this guy and
its truely heart breaking... I seriously
have fell in love with him, and now i feel
like im just stuck.
Thanks for any replys.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3250 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 87
Thanked:125
Posted: 06-12-08 11:05am
Im going to be very honest with you, LEAVE
HIM, you wont be able to change him unless
he want to change and it doesnt sound like
he wants to. So he is using you, not
worth it, if he cared he sould be able to
tell you or at least show you.
"I will not be in a serious relationship
with a white girl much less marry a white
girl" is almost like saying I WOULD ONLY
SLEEP WITH THEM, its like degrading you as
if you are nothing. Hunny you can do so
much better than that and not all black
men think like that!!! Find a hobby or
take up something and move on your own
way, I think you need to be with someone
who will put in as much as you do, it
takes two people and if you just keep
giving your going to feel mad at one point
and its only going to get worse or he will
just put an end to what you have going on
right now.
Slavery is a crime and if he cant get over
HISTORY and wants to carry a baggae before
his time he needs to get a life, he has
problems my dear and you dont need that!
|
Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 06-12-08 18:50pm
Thanks! I feel like i should just leave
him, i even told him the other night that
if thats how he feels then i just need to
get over him before i get even more
attached... It just kills me cause i do
care abut him A LOT! we' ve had so many
great times and great memories in the past
10 months, even when we were just friends
and bame all a sudden he throws this on
me.... Someone told me "he's such a good
guy, it jus has to be the way he was
brought up and his family." I just dont
understand why he even started this
relationship and atleast why didnt he warn
me or something. Your right, i kinda do
feel like im being used. I told one of my
friends, "its ok for him to have sex with
a white girl, but not be in a serious
relationship." Gosh im clearly an fool.
I also feel like he wants to get close,
cause im serious when we are together, he
couldnt be a more sweater person and I
know he cares about me. I just wish i
could be in his mind for 1 day so i would
know exactly how he feels and what he is
thinking. He also has never met many
people in my family. He met my sister and
my mom, thats about it and i have a big
family. When we have family get togethers
and stuff he claim he will come over, but
when that day actually gets here, he
always chickens out. I kinda understand,
cause he probably feels uncomfortable, but
i feel like he should want to meet his gf
family. I just dont know, but this is all
thats on my mind lately. I havnt seen him
in a couple days, cause since he told me
that, i feel uncomfortable even spending
time with him cause, "IM WHITE".......
Aywys, thanks
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3250 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 87
Thanked:125
Posted: 06-12-08 19:04pm
Their is nothing wrong with having those
feeling, I could never deny you that but
when you could be with someone who would
move heave and earth for you, wouldnt you
want someone to treat you as an friend and
not as your superior.
In life we all make choices, he could
change but like I said earlier thats a
choice he has to make. Their is so many
men on this planet and some are really
good, not all feel that way and the ones I
do well it is their mindset that believes
in racism, they hold on to it. The guy Im
with is Asian, I have kids with him but
unfortunatly he has similar views and
disregards females, now I dont put up with
it.
You have two choices, you can sit him down
explain to him that he is promoting racism
or you can leave. Choices we always have
them ans if we don't we have to fight for
them, ask him how he would feel if he
didnt have that freedom today?
Im white but european doesnt mean me or
you are any inferrior(less than) or
superior than another!! Good luck hun
|
worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 701 Location: ,
Thanks: 64
Thanked:8
Posted: 06-12-08 21:17pm
it just seems crazy to me that he was the
one that approached you and wanted to
start a relationship even with those
thoughts/feelings in the back of his
mind...i personally would never date a
black guy..i'm not racist by any means its
just my beliefs have taught me to date
within my race and i would never approach
and seriously pursue a relationship with a
black guy knowing it wouldn't go
anywhere...and for him to bring up
slavery...PLEASE..come on..like you had
any control over that...i say you deserve
better, if he had these feelings he
shouldn't have let it get as far as it
did..honestly since this is so all of a
sudden, it sounds like an excuse to
me..sort of a cop out
|
Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-08 08:17am
worrywart01
wrote:
it just seems crazy to me
that he was the one that approached you
and wanted to start a relationship even
with those thoughts/feelings in the back
of his mind...i personally would never
date a black guy..i'm not racist by any
means its just my beliefs have taught me
to date within my race and i would never
approach and seriously pursue a
relationship with a black guy knowing it
wouldn't go anywhere...and for him to
bring up slavery...PLEASE..come on..like
you had any control over that...i say you
deserve better, if he had these feelings
he shouldn't have let it get as far as it
did..honestly since this is so all of a
sudden, it sounds like an excuse to
me..sort of a cop
out
you know the same thing went threw my
head, its just an excuse... but I brought
up breaking up and he just about had a
cow... It really confuses me cause he
"Can't" have a serious relationship with
me, but he dont want to break up with me
either. Im getting to the point where i
want to find someone to settle down with
and if he feels like this then i obviously
cant settle down with him. Thanks for
your opinion!
|
Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-08 08:22am
diamondsz
wrote:
Their is nothing wrong with
having those feeling, I could never deny
you that but when you could be with
someone who would move heave and earth for
you, wouldnt you want someone to treat you
as an friend and not as your superior.
In life we all make choices, he could
change but like I said earlier thats a
choice he has to make. Their is so many
men on this planet and some are really
good, not all feel that way and the ones I
do well it is their mindset that believes
in racism, they hold on to it. The guy Im
with is Asian, I have kids with him but
unfortunatly he has similar views and
disregards females, now I dont put up with
it.
You have two choices, you can sit him down
explain to him that he is promoting racism
or you can leave. Choices we always have
them ans if we don't we have to fight for
them, ask him how he would feel if he
didnt have that freedom today?
Im white but european doesnt mean me or
you are any inferrior(less than) or
superior than another!! Good luck
hun
Thanks again! Im going to see him either
tonight or tomarrow and we are going to
have a serious, long conversation and if i
feel like he is b-s-n me, im just going to
end it. I know it will be really
difficult for me, but I cant stand what he
is putting me threw right now and i mean
emontionally.
|
Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: Charleston, SC USA
Thanks: 50
Thanked:6
Re: Boyfriend dosent like white people Posted: 06-13-08 09:27am
Aunt WeeWee
wrote:
Ok, 1st off, i am white and
i date a black guy..... we have been
together for only about 6 months or so
now. (I know thats not that long) we
have been friends for about 10 months.
He's the one who approached me and got my
number so we could start being friends. i
always noticed, i hardly ever seen him
hanging out with white people and almost
all him friends are black. I never said
anything to him, i just kinda ignored it
cause i thought that if he was racist he
would want to talk to me. well a couple
months ago we got into our "1st" argument
and he called me an "ungreatful white
B***h".. YEA. Then he brought up the
whole slavery thing and it was like he was
blaming me cause im white. i told him i
had nothin to do with slavery, it was way
way way before my time. im not racist at
all, obviously. I seriously dont care
what color you are.. Just me thou. Ok to
get to the point. Ive noticed he is
keeping himself from getting to close to
me, like he wont open his heart up to me
or something. We have a lot of fun
together and we are happy atleast i think
so, but i have a really hard time talking
to him about our feelings and stuff. I
have opened up my heart to him, but he
will not open his up to me and it gets
really frustrating, not knowing how he
really feels. So last week i asked him
what was the deal? He came out and said,
"im sorry, i really like you and im
falling for you, but I cant and will not
be in a serious relationship with a white
girl and their is no way i will ever marry
a white girl....." It hurt my feelings
soooooooooo, bad, i seriously went home
and cried myself to sleep. Why is he with
me if he dosent want to be with a white
girl? i feel like he is just wasting both
our times.
Please anyone with any advice help me....
I have poured my heart out to this guy and
its truely heart breaking... I seriously
have fell in love with him, and now i feel
like im just stuck.
Thanks for any
replys.
I just wanted to note something. I had
read your other post about wanting to be
pregnant. If your boyfriend doesn't like
white people, how would he be able to
teach yours and his children tolerance?
Just a thought. You can't hate on the race
of your loved ones and children. Don't
have babies with him-you will be sorry.
|
Mikolas
Supporter
Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 600 Location: Buffalo University, Hands off! My trained killer kitten has its aim set upon you!
Thanks: 19
Thanked:1
Posted: 06-13-08 13:26pm
I agree with everybody!
His statement about never being in a
serious relationship with a white girl
just states the only thing he likes about
white girls is having sex with them. It is
doubtful you will change a racist mind
that far gone. While this sounds quite
rude, I hope his beliefs dies with his
generation, the world is far from a
bigotry and racist free environment
because of people like that.
Lets say you were to stay with him, and
have a future with him, would you be
willing to sacrifice all your white
friends, and maybe even other non
black/non white friends, just for him? He
certainly won't like it if you lets say
hang out with your best guy white friend
since kindergarden who you think of as a
brother and nothing else, and its unlikely
he will give in and allow you to have your
ways with who you hang out with.
It's tiring that still some of these
individuals who always bring up their
"sad" history still to this day. They
always blame it on the white people when
they don't have an explanation, but are
often racist themselves. He, and those
other individuals insult their ancestors
each time they use them as a excuse for
their troubles, what do the generation now
know ANYTHING whatsoever about what
slavery was like, what it was like to
truly suffer? They act as if they were the
victims of a sole horrendous crime and
need to be pitied upon. There are far more
worst events that occurred in history to
other ethical races, and I don't see them
still bringing the past back and complain.
All in all, do yourself a favor miss lady,
and find yourself a man who shares your
own beliefs, and won't try to manipulate
you with such pitiful excuses.
|
Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Boyfriend dosent like white people Posted: 06-14-08 12:09pm
Marianne0558
wrote:
Aunt WeeWee
wrote:
Ok, 1st off, i am white and
i date a black guy..... we have been
together for only about 6 months or so
now. (I know thats not that long) we
have been friends for about 10 months.
He's the one who approached me and got my
number so we could start being friends. i
always noticed, i hardly ever seen him
hanging out with white people and almost
all him friends are black. I never said
anything to him, i just kinda ignored it
cause i thought that if he was racist he
would want to talk to me. well a couple
months ago we got into our "1st" argument
and he called me an "ungreatful white
B***h".. YEA. Then he brought up the
whole slavery thing and it was like he was
blaming me cause im white. i told him i
had nothin to do with slavery, it was way
way way before my time. im not racist at
all, obviously. I seriously dont care
what color you are.. Just me thou. Ok to
get to the point. Ive noticed he is
keeping himself from getting to close to
me, like he wont open his heart up to me
or something. We have a lot of fun
together and we are happy atleast i think
so, but i have a really hard time talking
to him about our feelings and stuff. I
have opened up my heart to him, but he
will not open his up to me and it gets
really frustrating, not knowing how he
really feels. So last week i asked him
what was the deal? He came out and said,
"im sorry, i really like you and im
falling for you, but I cant and will not
be in a serious relationship with a white
girl and their is no way i will ever marry
a white girl....." It hurt my feelings
soooooooooo, bad, i seriously went home
and cried myself to sleep. Why is he with
me if he dosent want to be with a white
girl? i feel like he is just wasting both
our times.
Please anyone with any advice help me....
I have poured my heart out to this guy and
its truely heart breaking... I seriously
have fell in love with him, and now i feel
like im just stuck.
Thanks for any
replys.
I just wanted to note something. I had
read your other post about wanting to be
pregnant. If your boyfriend doesn't like
white people, how would he be able to
teach yours and his children tolerance?
Just a thought. You can't hate on the race
of your loved ones and children. Don't
have babies with him-you will be
sorry.
yea, i kno thats one of the reasons why he
wont have a baby with me, but it dont
matter anymore cause i broke up with him,
so its all done and over with! thanks
|
Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-14-08 12:11pm
I just want to say thank you for everyones
replys and let everyone know that I broke
up with him last night and its for good.
I just cant take tha pain anymore. I have
more pain right now, but i know i will
eventually get over him. Thanks everyone!
