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boyfriend claims he used to be gay, now he's not???!!!!!

ok, I met my boyfriend about 4 years ago. SO HOT!!!. I found out at a party we were having that he used to be "gay". One of his now ex best friends spilled the beans. I have an issue with sex. I am not able to initiate sex. I've been raped several times, and molested. My ex used to beat the crap outta me for initiating sex, so I have a hard time trying to feel like its normal for a girl to get the party started. Which makes me feel like a little immature girlfriend and he knows about my past and accepts it. He doesn't throw it in my face, and I am really afraid that hes just going to reject me all the time, cause maybe he still secretly likes the penis??? We have never really had allot of sex in the 4 years Ive known him, he seems to enjoy hanging out with his BOYZ more than he likes getting freaky. He now claims to be "BI" but swears that he wouldnt just leave me cause theres a hot guy he wants. But hes been really shallow all of a sudden, doesnt hang out with me allot anymore. Ignores my phone calls and texts. I have no clue what to do. Im not trying to attack his sexuality. I actually used to humor that need for him, with strap ons and stuff. Now he refuses to use them. Says hes not gay, nothing to worry about blah blah. He proposed to me about a year ago, and doesnt want to talk about marriage now... and tonight..... not talking to me at all. what? Any ideas? ANyone think hes being unfaithful with a dude? Im going crazy, hes an awesome man.
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replied November 15th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
He's bisexual simple as that. If he's with you now he's more likely to be cheating on you with a girl than a guy. But that assumes that he's cheating at all. It sounds pretty clearly like his sexuality is freaking you out. I'm guessing it's a lot worse than you imagine. The uncertainty and worry you're feeling is going to take some work to deal with. Start by letting him know that you're feeling anxious lately and you need a little reassurance that you're sexy to him. Talk about what you're feeling with him. He's your partner, let him help you.
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replied November 15th, 2009
Supporter
it's a possibility that he lost interest in you, he have someone else, or he is stressed out about something and pulling away from you.
four years is a long time investment and you should talk to him about what's really going on, why is he ignoring you.
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replied November 27th, 2009
That is the problem, we have talked. I already know he is Bi, or so he says. Otherwise, theres no way we would have made it as long as we have. Right?
WOLF: we have talked. HE tells me he is still attracted to me and I should never doubt that. I feel like an idiot when I talk to him. Like maybe I am making him feel horrible that this truth about him came out. I don't try to, it just hurts to think maybe there's another truth I don't know. I don't just have to worry about him leaving me someday for a girl, I have to worry about the dudes too. LOL. He is a handsome man, funny, everything I could ever hope for. I think things will work out, I think maybe I am insecure about him leaving me either way, because he is so amazing. I hate the thought of someone else being so lucky as I am to have him, and to be his. (WHOA, epiphany) maybe thats what I should have told him to begin with???
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replied November 28th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
If you've explained to him how you're feeling and he's being supportive it looks like you need to make a call. Can you trust your boyfriend to tell you the truth or do you need to move on? Ask yourself where this fear that he's going to leave you is coming from and what really is at the center of this issue. Maybe take a few days away from him to sort this out.
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replied November 29th, 2009
It's sorted. He's being to shady with me, not hanging out with me. Not calling or texting, complete avoidance. Then when I show up at his house we fight. I'm done trying to figure him out. I told him I am done today, he is being a horrible boyfriend. I have a really crappy car, and he expects me to show up at his house if I want to hang out. Thats not fair, I am tired of following him like a sick puppy. There are way better men out there. I am no one's puppet and he has a long way to come. Sad
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replied January 4th, 2011
its a sick game
I went through this and guess what he used you as a smoke screen for society and a little bit of amusement for hisself. He is self centered and has used and abused you, worry about you and a little revenge never hurts. Its BS that guys will do this but they do, its not that he lost interest in you its that he was only fulfilling his own needs from day one and you were the tool of his amusment, This is what he does and im sure your not the only female he has done it to. Get over him he his everything you dont want
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