I am dating my bf for 2 years now and we have a big probem.
From the beginning of our relationship i was honest and i told him that i had 1 one night stand many years before i met him.
The one night stand unfortunately was a very good friend of his..
In any case we tried not to think of it..my bf was really good with me but lately the problem is getting bigger and bigger.
He keeps having it in his mind and not forgeting what i have done...he cannot forgive me for doing such a thing..
please help, and advise of how should i help him to try not to think of it and forget it..
I think the hardest thing for us women to do is to keep a secret...This should have been a kept secret...I wonder if we are going to confession or what?..
I think I would lay it on the line...Tell him that you are sick and tired of his doing this...It happened at another time and another place in life...Tell him that he is spoiling your relations with him and you don't want to hear anymore about it...It is your past and if anything he is making you regret things that you told him...Tell him that you loved and trusted him and thought he was mature enough in life to understand that you were just a young woman growing up and learning about life...This was part of your awakening...Then tell him if he does not like it to go and suck an egg and find another woman....
I guess I am a big mouth woman who would get super PO if this was thrown in my face....So saying this, I said what I would say... .
It seems to me the "keep a secret" thing is common with many women today. Better to live a lie than live in an honest relationship I quess. Here's the deal, if he tries to let it go but can't, he will never be fulfilled in a relationship with you. He will never fully enjoy you sexually or as a person which is unfortunate but the truth. You weren't learning about anything, you were horny and that is human. Don't dress it up with bs. If he can't let it go, he should move on to someone he will be happy with and you do the same.
if this wouldn't have gotten back to him then idk if i would have told him to begin with...bc it has nothing to do w/your relationship with him..BUT...you cant take anything back...you were honest w/him about it and if he cant get past it and it REALLY effects your relationship that much then I agree w/jasonjason...you both need to move on..it isn't something you can take back..either he accept it or things just arent going to work out...we all have a past...and its in the PAST..move on
âNo one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes.â
You did the right thing telling the truth. Its not something that should be brought up immediately but when you decided to be a "couple" then yes, it should have been brought up. I am sure he has skeletons as well. If I am understanding you right you told him and you have been together 2 years since? If that is the case then maybe he has some insecurities and maybe sitting down and talking with him letting him know how it meant nothing and you want to explore your relationship and look towards the future instead of harping on the past. Is his friend still around?
it's a lot of guys on this site that have the same problem. it's different for women, than men. i dont understand it was before him. do they think of the graphics of what happened years ago.
do y'all still talk to or see this friend?
all i can say is just try to reassure him that it was the past and your with him now.
do you tell your g/f's everything about you. everyone has secrets, even you buddy!
being an experienced women, i've learned that the younger immature guys have this problem and silly issues. that's why i date older guys.
some guys cracks me up!
they can have a lot of baggages, but if a women have one flaw, then that's it.
i m starting to get pissed, they were dating for 2 years, he either loves her enough to get over it or not. he should be concentrating on his chick and not her past. i can see him breaking up with her, then crying about how he made a mistake, but he already caused pain.
Put your foot down, tell him he either get over it, or not (leave).
you can find a older mature male that will love you flaws and all. as stressful as life is, he's making you feel bad about something you did years ago. i understand the friend thing, but it's do or die.