4 days ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. He was the first one I've had, and it may sound pathetic that I'm having such a hard time now, but it was an online relationship.
We met each other 4 or 5 months ago, in an online game, and became boyfriend and girlfriend about 2 months ago. During those two months, there were quite a lot of arguments and 'mini-break ups'.
He blamed me for the end of our relationship, saying he could not forgive me for something I'd said in the heat of the moment during an argument. He also said a lot of stuff about me, listing my bad qualities and what he didn't like about me, telling me he hates me and saying I disgust him, immediately after we broke up.
I've vomited every day since, and have completely lost my appetite. I can actually feel how hungry I am, but I just can't bring myself to eat, although I did start eating more yesterday and today than the first couple of days afterwards.
I blocked him on everything I could until yesterday when he texted me, asking me to unblock him on facebook. I did and we spoke a bit, and I asked him if we could be friends, to which he replied sure, however we haven't spoken since.
I really just need some advice on how to cope with this, especially getting myself to eat.
My parents never knew about him, and are talking about taking me to the doctors tomorrow, which I doubt will do any good. (I am 18 though, it's not like I don't know how completely irrational it is to feel like this.) I never told them because I know they'd tell me I was just being stupid, and that he could be anyone.
Is it better to completely block him on everything again, and ignore him if he tries to get in contact?
After speaking to him almost every day for the 4 or 5 months we've known each other, to suddenly not be speaking to him at all feels so lonely, and all I want to do is talk to him.
And finally, is there anywhere online I could just talk to someone? I don't really want to bother my friends by going on and on about it, and none of them really knew him anyway, but I think talking about it with someone would really help. I can't talk to my parents because, as I said before, they knew nothing of him. I don't have any siblings or any other family members I could talk to either.
Even just typing this on here has made me feel slightly better, although since I've been feeling so up and down these past few days, I don't know how long it'll be before I feel completely hopeless again.
Don't blame yourself for the breakup. Honestly it takes more than one person to destroy a relationship. If all he can do is call out the negative in you then he's completely immature. Maybe it's better that you broke up with him. I'm assuming that he's around your age and guys that age are typically selfish and self centered. What you need to do is to understand what happened. If you really are looking for love, you need to find someone that will understand you and your needs. The fact that you both fought so much in a short time just says to me that there wasn't enough understanding between the both of you to have a decent relationship and maybe you both weren't (capable of?) giving each other what you both needed. When I was 18, I wasn't mature enough to have a serious relationship. I broke up with women that I regret letting go of to this day.