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Both me and my boyfriend feel nothing durning sex

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December 24th, 2010
Me and My boyfriend have been together for over 3 mon.He is recently divorce, He was married for 21 years to the same women. And I'm still married but seperated, He has been divorced for 3 years he has went on dates but he has not had sex with anyone else up to this point.The other night we had sex for the first time,He could not get an erection and he told me that he did not feel anything.He also told me that he does not feel anything when we kiss.He thinks its are chemistry, I feel the same way when we had sex it has been 5 years for me I did not feel anything but nerves, We have such an awesome relationship we get along, we have fun when where
together, Sex is the only problem for us he is 47 and I'm also 47.
Thank you for your HELP
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hjohn300
replied December 28th, 2010
A great chemistry I see! Sex is not always required for a relationship. I see 2 possible issues with this. 1st... If you both have a wonderful relationship, but dwell on the past (You are only seeing other people because you are trying to get-over your exhusband, or the same applies to him) then the REAL chemistry between you 2 is not there. Maybe he is just a good friend for you. Nothing more. Hes there for you and through your separation. And maybe you are just his side-track to help keep his mind off of his hectic divorce. BUT IM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST!
2... You 2 might be attracted to each other but sexual desires are just not there. Heck, maybe you both are alil nervous!

Try having a romantic night, dinner and candles... spice things up! Most importantly, RELAX!!! Look at him as the man that you care for. Give him you and vice versa. See how that goes! Keep me updated!!
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1981wiggs
replied December 30th, 2010
Reply
He Believes that we need chemistry in order to go forward.I have never had that so I dont know what it's like.We decided to end it, My only problem with this is that we will never know cause we gave up. I Love this man and I know that I will never find someone like him he is everything that I want in a man and I have never found that. I just hope we made the right decision and later we both dont kick are self in the butt for not trying.I am just not sure what to do walk away and call it a loss or go after this man because I Love him, I am so confused I have never felt this way about anyone I am always the first to walk away, But it is so hard to walk away from someone that you care so much for. I wish I new what to do, I really feel that we were both so nervous and scared and everthing else that goes with it. Why does this feel so right but I'm so cofused at the same time
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hjohn300
replied December 30th, 2010
Re: Reply
1981wiggs wrote:
He Believes that we need chemistry in order to go forward.I have never had that so I dont know what it's like.We decided to end it, My only problem with this is that we will never know cause we gave up. I Love this man and I know that I will never find someone like him he is everything that I want in a man and I have never found that. I just hope we made the right decision and later we both dont kick are self in the butt for not trying.I am just not sure what to do walk away and call it a loss or go after this man because I Love him, I am so confused I have never felt this way about anyone I am always the first to walk away, But it is so hard to walk away from someone that you care so much for. I wish I new what to do, I really feel that we were both so nervous and scared and everthing else that goes with it. Why does this feel so right but I'm so cofused at the same time


Hey girlie! Cheer up! If you truly do love this Man, then fight for him! Just really make sure that the Love is coming from both of you. If you are giving you 150% into him, make sure he is giving you 150% back! It wont ever work if you give 150 and he gives 50...

Besides that point. The 'Intimacy' thing is something I believe is mental. I believe (in my own opinion) that sex is mental period. Put your mind into him and give him 'you'. Meaning, when you lay down to really enjoy the intimacy, lay down and think about how he's made for you and you only. How he was made to please you and to fulfill your sexual desires. That this man that you love so much is for you and you only! When you think that way, you feel him more. You feel his passion, love, and satisfaction! You enjoy pleasing him and watching his expressions and notice that he enjoys your personal and unique body wrapped around his.

Sex is mental but once your mentality forms around the TRUE meaning of sex... You BOTH will experience the 'chemistry' that you both desire!

I hope this helps!!!
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