Hi
i've just read thru your story and some of the replies and I cannot believe the parallels to my own situation! I have only been married to my husband for a short time and have a 1 year old son with him and my daughter lives with me (from previous marriage)and I have a son who lives with his dad.
My husband was diagnosed with bp about 2 months after we married...A great wedding present! He drinks when he needs to escape and has been violent. I can relate to loving someone so much that you change your own values to be with them, I can relate to not wanting to leave an unwell spouse...To be honest I can just understand thoroughly where you are coming from!
I am now separated from my husband...He was physical infront of my son. My husband minimises the violence and I have slapped him after reaching total frustration point...Which helps him to justify his own abusiveness.
My husband has been the great love of my life but sadly after so much of his abusiveness and jealousies (oh yeah he suffers -or rather I do- from morbid jealousy too!), I think he has managed to do a great deal of damage to that love and I am at the point of decided if this is what I want for my life and my kids too.
My last hope is the local mental health team, if this doesn't work then I am not sticking around for more of this nightmare. It has got worse for me not better even with meds!!!
Anyway I hope that reading of someone in pretty much the same situation helps...It helped me to read of you.
Cheers suziec