I recently realized I may be bipolar--from childhood to now (I am 31). I write this because for about a month in half I thought I was going to be a rock star. I bought an expensive guitar and amp (mind, I have played the guitar since I was 21). I would stay up late at night writing song and practicing the guitar. I even formed a band and practiced three times and then we stopped suddenly without word.
During the time of practicing with the band a deep depression formed and I could not get out of bed for class (I am an Navy veteran attending college). I am always missing class from being depressed and by the thought of being in public. While in the Navy I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder.
My sex drive was going through the roof. I am married with two children (5 and 6 months) and I frequented prostitutes. There was also uncontrollable masturbation.
I also received a DUI a two month before the rock star phase.
My behavior started to change after I started taking Paxil for my depression in December of 2009. I have taken Prozac, Wellbutrin, and Zoloft before, but never Paxil. A week or two of taking it my friends started to notice changes in my personality and speech. I gave two girls I did not even know letters of affection. That's when I realized something was amiss. I stopped taking Paxil and stopped seeing my doctor. Now nearly 2 and a half years later the mood swings are getting worse. One more thing, my stress level is through the roof from college, poor finances, and a hurting marriage.
My childhood was extremely stressful too. I used to worry about nuclear war and the end of the world frequently. I also had headaches and chest pains. I often got into trouble at school and on a occasion I would interrupt the class with jokes. I was also considered a gifted child for my artwork from elementary to high school. I have researched that people with bipolar are creative.
This is the first time I have been scared about my mental health. What is happening to me?
Hi artsci, you have alot of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, and I have it myself. You need to get evaluated from a professional to fully diagnose you and make sure you have a proper diagnoses. You need to get treated because bipolar does get worse when left untreated. I haven't had my meds or anything checked for almost 5 years and am paying for it badly. I had to drop out of college for a semester, and my anxiety and panic attacks are through the roof. Dealing with an illness like that will take time and patience, but it's worth it in the ling run.