I don't have the answers as I was recently diagnosed with Cyclothymia, Bipolor II and just started taking Lamictal myself, but know that there are others experiencing the same thing. I'm 28 and I've been married for 13 years (yes I got married very young) and have major issues with cheating in my Hypomania stages. It's an issue I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy, then again...lol. I lost my virginity at the age of 12 and In my teenage years I was extremely rebellious. Funny thing was, I never had an explanation for my actions.
At times, I feel so stuck myself. I want to tell my husband about the infidelities, but I dont want to put him through that unneccessary pain. I just want to stop. When I'm "normal" I swear to myself up and down, I will never cheat again and am so sure of it, but as soon as my Mania stage would roll around, there I was again. In some other mans arms and feeling extremely guilty about it. I can't tell my friends because they think I'm selfish and crazy and claim I don't love my husband which frustrated me because God knows I do. I can't explain my actions and it's extremely frustrating. If I am selfish, it's not my own doing. I bend over backwards for people and am very sociable. Not many people understand Mental illness and have self righteous opinions and to them, I say "Screw YOU".
In the past, when I was on my "depression" stages, I would go to therapists but for some reason lie about my life which made no sense and of course they wouldn't be able to help me. Until this year, I couldn't take it anymore and finally told my Pysh EVERYTHING....I didn't even care if it was embarrassing. I felt like this was my last chance because suicide thoughts were rampant. I've NEVER been a suicidal person and my rational side knows it's just plain crazy, but I can't control the thoughts.
If I didn't tell my Pysch, I would've never been diagnosed and would've kept believing I'm an evil person. I'm still confused about the whole thing. Knowing about the condition, I can research and understand myself better. It's sad to say, but I've stopped hanging out with my girlfriends or doing the things that would cause me to lose it, in order to save my marriage. At one point, I really thought I was an alcoholic. My drinking binges were insane.
The last straw was waking up one morning to a very angry husband, pots and pans all over my living room and my body was in extreme pain. Apparently, I woke my husband up to argue about nonsense, found the pots and pans on the street and bought them home and had a fight in the club all in the same night. I had no recollection of any of it. It may sound funny, but this was very alarming to me and one of the many reasons I rushed straight to a Pych. Don't give up. Good luck and know there are other people battling the same thing.