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Bipolar with sexual urges

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I'm a 25 year old female diagnosed with bipolar disorder, as was my mother and her sister. My psychiatrist had me on Lamictal at a pretty high dosage. I was laid off and have no health insurance now so I'm not on medication anymore. I've been off of it for about 5 months now and have not experienced any lows, but I've definitely noticed myself slipping back into my old thoughts and feelings of resentment towards people around me. I should first say that I've always found sex very exciting, especially with someone new. I had slept with 4 guys by the time I finished high school, and even slept with some of them during the same time period. I married at 19, and have been separated twice in the last 6 years. Each time we were separated, I slept with 3 guys, for a total of 6 guys. And each time we separated was because I had met someone I wanted to have sex with but didn't want to cheat, so I left my husband. All of this time I was undiagnosed and not on any medication until I finally almost had a breakdown from all of these thoughts and emotions. I was diagnosed bipolar, put on Lamictal, and I finally felt normal. I stopped having depressing thoughts, I stopped trying to physically fight my husband, I feel like my self-esteem was better, everything. Well like I said, I'm not on it anymore because I can’t afford it. I just cheated on my husband a few weeks ago with a one night stand while on vacation with a girlfriend. The very next night, I had sex with another guy. One thing I’ve never told my doctors because I was too embarrassed is that I also have a thing for exhibitionism. I have these urges to go expose myself, and they last for a week to a few weeks. Then I go a few weeks without wanting to do it, the idea just repulses me. I scare myself because when I’m in these “moods”, I work myself up closer and closer to actually doing something. I've been doing this for several years. I’ve posted numerous nude photos of my body on the internet, but that doesn’t excite me anymore so now I’m slowly exposing myself in public. I know it will just keep getting worse. My question is, are these symptoms of my bipolar disorder? My psychiatrist used to ask me about my sex drive and that’s why he upped my dosage because I told him that it’s very easy for me to have a one night stand. I’m just very upset and confused, I feel like such a sick, mean person. I love my husband so much and I wasn’t raised to be this way, but I literally feel like I can’t control these sexual urges. (I don’t think I’m a sex addict though because I can function normally and do not become so obsessed that I withdraw). I just don’t know why I keep cheating and why I have this side exhibitionism thing, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
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replied July 14th, 2009
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Do you live in the United States?? If you do, you should be able to contact your local county or state agency for the closest mental health facility so that you can get your meds. There is help out there for people with no insurance if you have a mental health issue. You don't have to suffer and yes, what you are experiencing is part of your bipolar disorder. You need to get back on your meds.
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Users who thank wendyrs for this post: rose84 

replied December 23rd, 2009
Hang in there...I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia
I don't have the answers as I was recently diagnosed with Cyclothymia, Bipolor II and just started taking Lamictal myself, but know that there are others experiencing the same thing. I'm 28 and I've been married for 13 years (yes I got married very young) and have major issues with cheating in my Hypomania stages. It's an issue I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy, then again...lol. I lost my virginity at the age of 12 and In my teenage years I was extremely rebellious. Funny thing was, I never had an explanation for my actions.
At times, I feel so stuck myself. I want to tell my husband about the infidelities, but I dont want to put him through that unneccessary pain. I just want to stop. When I'm "normal" I swear to myself up and down, I will never cheat again and am so sure of it, but as soon as my Mania stage would roll around, there I was again. In some other mans arms and feeling extremely guilty about it. I can't tell my friends because they think I'm selfish and crazy and claim I don't love my husband which frustrated me because God knows I do. I can't explain my actions and it's extremely frustrating. If I am selfish, it's not my own doing. I bend over backwards for people and am very sociable. Not many people understand Mental illness and have self righteous opinions and to them, I say "Screw YOU".
In the past, when I was on my "depression" stages, I would go to therapists but for some reason lie about my life which made no sense and of course they wouldn't be able to help me. Until this year, I couldn't take it anymore and finally told my Pysh EVERYTHING....I didn't even care if it was embarrassing. I felt like this was my last chance because suicide thoughts were rampant. I've NEVER been a suicidal person and my rational side knows it's just plain crazy, but I can't control the thoughts.
If I didn't tell my Pysch, I would've never been diagnosed and would've kept believing I'm an evil person. I'm still confused about the whole thing. Knowing about the condition, I can research and understand myself better. It's sad to say, but I've stopped hanging out with my girlfriends or doing the things that would cause me to lose it, in order to save my marriage. At one point, I really thought I was an alcoholic. My drinking binges were insane.
The last straw was waking up one morning to a very angry husband, pots and pans all over my living room and my body was in extreme pain. Apparently, I woke my husband up to argue about nonsense, found the pots and pans on the street and bought them home and had a fight in the club all in the same night. I had no recollection of any of it. It may sound funny, but this was very alarming to me and one of the many reasons I rushed straight to a Pych. Don't give up. Good luck and know there are other people battling the same thing.
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replied December 30th, 2009
i am bipolar and got put on lamictal too.i know when off my medicine i get very sexual...in fact i cheated on my fiance with my ex(who happens to b my son's father),i broke up wit one of my boyfirends to have sex with another guy.

being off medicine is not good.sometimes it takes up to 2 weeks for the medicine to take affect again when u go back on it.

i am a teen.sometimes my mom n i don;t have insurance n can't afford to get my medicine,at some places u can get free samples.i know at the place i see my pyschiatrist they sometimes provide free samples.

wish u the best
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replied January 22nd, 2010
Experienced User
Before I was diagnosed with BP and put on Lamictal I was very impulsive-sexually as well. I agree that there are facilities for people w/o health insurance. The one near me provides regular psych visits, counselling and meds. also some p-docs do offer samples as noted above. Though with Lamictal it takes longer than 2 wks to get up to your therapeutic dose. I take 400mg and when I went off it I had to start at 50mg for 2 wks and increase it by 50mg evry two weeks. But follow your p-docs orders.
Best wishes
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replied April 24th, 2010
I had lots of issues between 2004 and 2008 because of my diagnosis being missed so often. Finally found the right doctors and got the diagnosis right, cyclothymia and RX lamictal. My sexual behavior has changed considerably and my life is 100% better. I am so much better balanced in my life. It almost cost me my marriage, kids and life. I fell into the “hole” of stopped taking my meds once I felt better and the mood swings came back, very ugly. Been on meds for almost a year now and wouldn’t even think of getting off the med. I am luck to have great medical and RX coverage at work. Never knew what the mental issue was but am glad that it is under control.
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