From perusing these forums, I know that the definitive answers to each of my questions will be 'seek professional help', but i'm a 23 year old male working extremely hard to save up enough cash for finishing up my undergraduate degree. I'm worried that the costs of seeing a professional will kill me financially while living off of an $8.00 an hour job. I do have insurance, but its not especially helpful. They pay the first $500, i get the next $800, and then 20% afterwards. I just can't do it. On to the symptoms:
Mania has always been an issue - as well as being attracted to risky lifestyles and behaviors. I'm absolutely shocked that I don't have a DUI under my belt at this point in my life, but I've somehow pulled through. I can't even bring myself to think of what else I may have done to myself thus far, but that's also an issue - paranoia, albeit, mild paranoia. The past few nights I'm experiencing some extremely intense dreaming or whatever the hell it is, where I lose all control of my imagination whenever my eyes close (frightening), but i can keep control otherwise. I've managed to fall asleep once I turn on the TV (i hate television, but it finally came in handy), once my mind is distracted by something else - this is followed by prolonged dream sequences. I've been prolific musically and lyrically as of late, (although I'm not delusional on this note: i'm almost positive that everything i'm writing/playing is crap).
Apart from that, my life is a rollercoaster. I could go further into detail, but its all the typical indicators of bipolar disorder. I've had severe anxiety problems for awhile now, took Zoloft for a year, got fat and generally quit giving a caca about everything. Once I hopped off of Zoloft, I slimmed way down and acquired something of an eating disorder. So.
Where do I begin? Help appreciated.
