Bipolar spouse angry, hostile and abusive Posted: 04-13-08 23:22pm
I have been diagnosed with bp for six
years; I am doing fairly well, except for
my personal life. I have been with a
wonderful man since I was diagnosed. I
have put him through hell; I am always
angry, negitive, looking to start a fight;
always looking for things he's done wrong;
accusing him of not loving me, thinking
I'm not pretty enough (I have low self
esteem - don't know why b/c I know I'm
pretty, healty, intelligent); always
needing to be near him; needing him to
tell and reassure me that he loves me...I
give him a hard time about this children
(not mine) and make him feel guilty for
any and everything. I am always yelling
and putting him down, yet wanting him to
pay all of his attention on me - yet in
public I am 'myself' quite, polite,
friendly.... Why do I treat him so
horribly, I don't want to loose him, but
I don't know how to change....this
horrible person is not me; but why in
private do I turn into a monster and hurt
the one person who is there for me and
still loves me. Please I need help!!! I
don't want to be this person, I don't want
to be angry, negative and hurtful anymore.
Please help me, I'll take any advice.
Thank you for your help in advance.
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 606 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 183
Thanked:97
Bp looking for help Posted: 04-14-08 11:36am
We treat those who we love the most with
the most disrespect because we feel safe
and we know that they will put up with it.
You have made the first step into
recovery because you have voiced your
story. You know what you are doing is
hurtful to your man.
In Kenya I had a daughter and I would
treat her with disrespect while we were
mbae ourselves and I would act normal
while in public.
It takes a lot of training to get out of
this mode of behavior but it is doable.
Just treat him with respect even if it
kills you. It is sweet and you don't
waste your energy getting angry.
It is abusive behavior which you MUST stop
if you want a fulfilled relationship with
your man.
Are you on any medication to help
stabilize your mood?
All the best.
Muthoni (Mson)
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CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2218 Location: Finally a picture to a name,
Thanks: 87
Thanked:121
I'm with ya Posted: 04-14-08 12:07pm
This is something I myself really have to
control. Not so much with my family, but
with ei...people, neigbors ect......I had
to learn through myself how to "Zip it
up".
You may be in the same prodiciment here.
If you are on medication, your going to
have to learn to contol that part of your
cycle. If your not on medications, I would
try and seek some help and maybe treatment
of somekind.
You can also seek anger managment classes.
|
ktthefreak
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 29 Location: Oklahoma, OKC USA
Posted: 04-14-08 17:08pm
I was in a relationship like that once. I
was only with this guy for 10 months,
though we were together almost everyday.
The last few months is when it started
getting bad, i'd get angry at him and try
to hit him or hurt him in any way i could,
in public i would be absolutely normal and
i have never ever been that way towards
anyone else in my life. I can usually
control my anger, i don't usually
understand how people can loose themselves
like that. Right now i'm talking to this
guy who just broke up with a girl because
she would be angry all the time and hit
him and make him feel bad mentally and i
told him that wasn't right at all.. but it
took me a while to admit i use to be the
same way with someone. I have no idea why
i was so horrible with him and couldn't
control myself, and i hope i don't get in
a relationship with someone. Hmm yeah just
felt like putting my story out there,
maybe you can find some comfort knowing
its happened to other people who are
generally perfectly normal people =s
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