We treat those who we love the most with the most disrespect because we feel safe and we know that they will put up with it. You have made the first step into recovery because you have voiced your story. You know what you are doing is hurtful to your man.

In Kenya I had a daughter and I would treat her with disrespect while we were mbae ourselves and I would act normal while in public.

It takes a lot of training to get out of this mode of behavior but it is doable. Just treat him with respect even if it kills you. It is sweet and you don't waste your energy getting angry.

It is abusive behavior which you MUST stop if you want a fulfilled relationship with your man.

Are you on any medication to help stabilize your mood?

All the best.
Muthoni (Mson)

This is something I myself really have to control. Not so much with my family, but with ei...people, neigbors ect......I had to learn through myself how to "Zip it up".
You may be in the same prodiciment here. If you are on medication, your going to have to learn to contol that part of your cycle. If your not on medications, I would try and seek some help and maybe treatment of somekind.
You can also seek anger managment classes.

I was in a relationship like that once. I was only with this guy for 10 months, though we were together almost everyday. The last few months is when it started getting bad, i'd get angry at him and try to hit him or hurt him in any way i could, in public i would be absolutely normal and i have never ever been that way towards anyone else in my life. I can usually control my anger, i don't usually understand how people can loose themselves like that. Right now i'm talking to this guy who just broke up with a girl because she would be angry all the time and hit him and make him feel bad mentally and i told him that wasn't right at all.. but it took me a while to admit i use to be the same way with someone. I have no idea why i was so horrible with him and couldn't control myself, and i hope i don't get in a relationship with someone. Hmm yeah just felt like putting my story out there, maybe you can find some comfort knowing its happened to other people who are generally perfectly normal people =s

I am no expert, just a fellow sufferer, but I call mine displaced anger. Although it is difficult to maintain, I try and recognize it as part of my disorder and not try to get caught in the thought that it is him. It isn't easy, but it can be done. It really isn't fun feeling this way and there is no way for them to know what you are going through unless he takes a true, sincere interst....I have a good man, but find it really hard to worry about his feelings when I am trying with every ounce of effort to keep mine in check. If they only knew maybe something could change,

bp looking for help, You sound just like my wife, except she freaks out when I get close to her (freaks out when I don't). Every day is a grind, there is nothing to celebrate in my life anymore, when I compare these last 5 years to other periods in my life my memories are like a smashed bottle under a grey sky. I love her and want to support her, but nothing I do is good enough and whenever she is upset or angry it's always all my fault no matter what.
I have to go for a biospy and she said if it's cancer she's definately getting a divorce because I'll be even more useless and won't be able to support her. I can't bear the thought of leaving her to fend for herself but my life really isn't up to much. I'm old fashioned and I got married cos I wanted to love and care for her until we grew old and died. She constantly says she wants a divorce, but then goes mental if I consider it.
Recently she said she may have bipolar after talking to a doctor (at work - she didn't go and see a doctor) and this is the first sign that she admits there's a problem. She isn't lashing out at me and trashing the flat anymore, so maybe she's improving.
I just hate my life. I do my best not to think about it. Because it's unbearable.

I can only say that it is very tiring being on the other side of bipolar disease. Walking on egg shells, keeping children perfect(impossible), calling to check in, being accused of things for NO reason, and the constant back and forth Jeckle and Hide is very stressful. I'm surprised I'm not the one that needs help. That's the worst part, when a bipolar person doesn't want or know when they need help. It is truely love that helps me get through the rough patches. Sometimes you feel like packing up and taking the kids, but you are stronger than that and can cope, not like the bipolar partner. Just know that God will never give you anything you can't handle. It takes a stronger person to stick it out. However, anyone with bp needs to recognize it and get it under control. Do it for yourself first, then your spouse, children, family and friends. thanks

That is right Massey. Well spoken.

Muthoni (Mson)

I'm the same with my husband I and he feel your pain. He finally told me I can't stand walking on eggshells around my own house. I can't stand not knowing which one of you is going to show up today. Good/bad/depressed/angry. Sometimes it's other stress in our life that triggers these emotions I found that it was my job. My home life,married life and motherhood have been a lot better w/out work. It truly is hard to deal with bipolar disease no matter which end of the stick your on. I hope you find the answers your looking for.

This is something I myself really have to control. Not so much with my family, but with ei...people, neigbors ect......I had to learn through myself how to "Zip it up".
You may be in the same prodiciment here. If you are on medication, your going to have to learn to contol that part of your cycle. If your not on medications, I would try and seek some help and maybe treatment of somekind.
You can also seek anger managment classes.

I was in a relationship like that once. I was only with this guy for 10 months, though we were together almost everyday. The last few months is when it started getting bad, i'd get angry at him and try to hit him or hurt him in any way i could, in public i would be absolutely normal and i have never ever been that way towards anyone else in my life. I can usually control my anger, i don't usually understand how people can loose themselves like that. Right now i'm talking to this guy who just broke up with a girl because she would be angry all the time and hit him and make him feel bad mentally and i told him that wasn't right at all.. but it took me a while to admit i use to be the same way with someone. I have no idea why i was so horrible with him and couldn't control myself, and i hope i don't get in a relationship with someone. Hmm yeah just felt like putting my story out there, maybe you can find some comfort knowing its happened to other people who are generally perfectly normal people =s

I can relate to all of this, I'm going on 40 and was diagnosed with bipolar at 26. I'm on my second marriage witch is on the brink, and I'm not taking meds at this time. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and angry.....off to the Dr this week to get back on something that will stabilize me and give my husband and myself a shot at a happy life together.

You can all do this. Look to Jesus Christ. He will get you, your spouses and your children through. I promise.

You can all do this. Look to Jesus Christ. He will get you, your spouses and your children through. I promise.

Low self esteem coupled with any disorder that makes it difficult to censor yourself is a recipe for making trouble in your personal life. Your self-esteem is allready prompting you to sabatoge your relationship so that you won't have to deal with feelings of inadequacy and generate proof that you really weren't good enough. The BP is just making it hard for you to fight off those urges to do things that damage the relationship. It's also very possibly fueling the self-depricating feelings. I think if you can find a treatment that is effective for the Bipolar disorder you will find it much easier to have faith in yourself and not be tempted to hurt your husband.

OMG i am loosing it here with my son who is 21 with bp. I am so tired of being emotionally abused by him and i don't want to put him in the streets but i'm not sure how much more i can take. He's not willing to go to therapy or take meds, so where does that leave me? I know it has to be difficult on him, but it's not easy on me either. He is my only child, and i'm afraid to just throw my hands up, if something happens to him, i will never be able to live with myself.HELP! I don't know which way to turn!

Hey Chaeryl87
Call your local mental institution and find out about check-in requirements. If you feel he's not functional in the outside world odds are they will agree with you. Sit him down and tell your son know that you love him but that his illness is wearing you down. That if he won't accept the help you're worked hard to provide for him you're going to have to check him in to an asylum until he's healthy enough to be a part of the family.

Leaving a Bipolar undedicated and without doctor supervision is dangerous. It's a disease that can spiral out of control without much warning. You have to get him help.

Thank you...today i am going to check with the mental health services in my area and also i'm going to speak with my preacher. If i try to even speak to my son about checking him in somewhere, he is going to blow up at me and i'm not ashamed to admit that i do get scared of him when he gets like that. I have decided that i won't ask him to leave regardless of what he says or does to me because there is no way i could handle that anyway, but it's just hard trying to get him help when he's not willing to take it, ya know?

Massey, you are living my life, or I am living yours. That is exactly how it is in my house. Though, the rough patches are more prevalent than they ever have been before. It is so hard!

wolf,
Can you explain what you meant when you wrote "Leaving a Bipolar undedicated and without doctor supervision is dangerous. It's a disease that can spiral out of control without much warning. You have to get him help". Like how bad can it get?