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Bipolar, something else than just ups and downs?

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When you hear talking about bipolar disorder you always hear terms depression and mania.

I have been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder about five years ago and in this five years period I have just been getting better whole the time, from depression to normal mood. Instead of bouncing to mania and then back again to depression. I find some difficulties in day to day life, but my symptoms have been adequately small and doctors might say that I am symptom free.

But what has happened, I dont talk as much as earlier (before diagnose) and I feel that I am not as "interesting" and fun as I used to be. I wonder has my feelings got more dull than they use to be and will I ever be "normal" again. I also get feelings of despair and hopelesness time to time.

These are the things I fight in every day life and I am wondering does anyone else have these kind of deficits in their life?

I use lithium and zyprexa and I also wonder, if these medicines have something to do with my feelings. But I am too afraid to stop my medication. It got me several years to get even this far and I dont want to do it all over again.
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