Sorry I didn't know whether to put this in a drug forum or bipolar but I thought you guys would be smarter.
Basically I don't know what to think right now so just read with an open mind. Thanks =)
I feel that I have experienced a true cognitive shift...
*A cognitive shift (not to be confused with cognitive-shifting, a general therapy/meditation term) is a psychological phenomenon most often experienced by individuals using psychedelic drugs, or suffering from mental disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depressive syndrome). During a cognitive shift, one experiences a change in how their conscious mind and unconscious mind communicate with each other. The result can be a wide range of feelings, from euphoria to panic.* (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_sh
...while under the influence of THC after smoking marijuana. My mother's side of the family has a series of mental health issues including Bipolar Disorder and while growing up my parents felt that I might have been past down these traits. Though I've never been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, because I never really felt like I had it, which has stopped our family many times from going to therapists, etc. It was only until I smoked marijuana for the first time the summer of my freshmen year of high school (I was 15) that I really felt something was wrong. My friends weren't phased at all by it, they felt either fine, nothing at all, or euphoric and giggly.
After smoking it I began to giggle, but something told me that I didn't want to feel this way anymore so I tried to refuse the "high feeling." At that point there was a HUGE break with reality, I had lost sense of where I was going and then a split second later it felt like I was reliving a horrible nightmare that I'd seen before as a child. It felt like total deja vu for about 15 minutes of real time but it felt like I was there for a lifetime. I was panicking because my thoughts were racing a mile a minute, they were telling me that I was dead and that everyone who had ever smoked marijuana was in this state of mind and that they were all dead, and the only reason people told you to smoke marijuana was because they were dead inside and just wanted you to die with them. These thoughts were brutal and overwhelming, I felt a huge distortion in time, I could see my body do things and the feeling of it would catch up around 2 seconds later. It felt like I was on a track that was repeating itself over and over and that I would just venture on this course forever because that was life. I came to realize the next morning after waking up all dazed and confused that it was probably just my racing thoughts that were lying to me and none of that was really going to happen and didn't really happen. It completely felt like two different thoughts though, I felt like my true self was helpless inside my head and there was another me outside my head that was spewing these lies at me.
Anyone thinking that this experience was not from marijuana wouldn't be wrong in thinking that. And that’s what I thought too which was a huge mistake. The following school year after smoking the weed I'd been researching Wikipedia on some of the side effects that I'd experienced and I came across the drug salvia. I saw that the effects of Deja Vu and racing thoughts that associated themselves with salvia had been similar to my experience so I'd been telling people, my friends, that we'd had to have done salvia. I thought that the kid who sold me that gram of marijuana thought it'd be funny if they just gave us Salvia instead.
So the next summer I wanted to try marijuana. (UH OH!) We were bored one day so we called someone up and asked to buy weed (it was a different seller obviously haha), we got the weed and were ready to smoke it in my friends pitch black wooded backyard. Thankfully we decided to watch a movie and save it for the next day because I would have really crap my pants. The next day we headed to my high school which is connected to an elementary school and we smoked it on this hill. Once again, BAM, it kicked in and I felt once again that I had killed myself and we we're on another course for eternity and a whole lot of time distortion and panic and fear. Once again I felt that I was split in two, that one self was lying to me and that the other true self was helplessly waiting for it to end. Not to mention I completely lost trust in my friends again because they would push me around and lift me up and drop me which was excruciatingly scary.
You must think that I'm retarted by now for trying it again but it gets worse. THE FOLLOWING SUMMER I was over at my friend’s house and I thought I’d be ok if I just had a puff of marijuana from a different seller, and I was horribly wrong because this was incredibly potent and I felt it the most this time, and it lasted the longest. But what worries me the most is that I have completely pledged myself never to do drugs AGAIN, though one day I was playing baseball and I had to jump over the fence to retrieve the homeruns. As I was walking in the high uncut-grass I felt, for 3 seconds, that BAM feeling, like I started the trip over again, but as soon as it started it finished. And this had been without smoking marijuana for months, I just want to know if I should be worried about this and if I should seek help before it starts again. I definitely couldn't live like that, I'd end up killing myself. It's only happened that one time (sober) and that was 7.21.08, I'm writing this 7.28.08. Hopefully it won't happen again
After each episode I have states of mind when I'm sober of how do we really exist on earth? Am I the center of everything (like the Truman Show)? And sometimes I wake up in the morning and realize that one day I'm going to die and I worry what it will be like.
I am a christian and placing my trust in Jesus really helps me sometimes get through this.
Try to stay away from getting high, it's not the real you anyways. Are you the first of something like this happening and does it somehow equate you to being bipolar?...NO.
Most often what takes place is that the person with bipolarism uses drugs and alcohol to control the symptoms, not the other way around. Had you wrote that you were using marijuana to stop the racing thoughts and horrible events being played in your head, that might have been a start.
Do a Google search on "marijuana bad experiences" and click on the link starting with GBR:Bad Experiences, you will find what you are describing is actually a bad experience from using the drug and your own insecurities.
Reaction to drugs is a personal thing, each person can experience drugs differently. Many don't experience them positively! That's why drugs are bad If you don't experience bipolar symptoms when you aren't using drugs, there's no reason to think you are bipolar.
Your episode after the fact could have been sort of like (but not actually) ptsd- the experience was so scary for you that you had a flashback to it. That will go away.
Well I am Mood Disorder NOS, def. have severe depression and anxiety and smoking weed calms me. I think you just experienced something different. Possibilly laced weed by the way because marijuana is really only a hallucinagin in high doses of THC which...weed doesn't have enough of....maybe if you smoked a LOT of hash but I doubt it. Weed is only usually a concentration of 5-10% THC despite what news and media has tried to state. Anyway, maybe check who you are getting the stuff from. Or just stay away period.
There are a few people who don't know how to react to weed for some reason. I had a friend who would get really moody and just stop everything to sit down and start feeling sorry for himself, wherever he happened to be.
But eiher you are just being dramatic, or it was laced. You will not have flashbacks from smokin a J lol.
i can't smoke weed either i get paranoia ,But its all in your mind,when your high you start to see things from a different perspective,You over analyze small thing that's when your mind start's to wonder and you get nervous,I use to smoke alot and feel chill ,but once i stopped my tolerance was not the same so i would get high after 1 or 2 hit's of some potent weed.
I was never a fan of drugs in general,even though i have a huge history with narcotic's ,there were only a few times i enjoyed them but that was when i was never under stress and always was thinking positive, i do enjoy drinking even though i take klonopin,drinking opens me up a little more but its dangerous to mix the 2 and when i drink too much i get stuck in this hell state of mind my body locks up.
i smoked all my freshman year in hs and i got such bad anxiety and paranoia. i would go through a period of totally tweaking out and everything was really chaotic and bad and all of a sudden i would come back and be like "oh my god, i'm sorry i was acting so weird just then" and it would start over. every single time i got high.
i'm a freshman in college now and i smoked a few puffs in the beginning of the year for the first time since i was 14 and it happened the same way.
people react certain ways to pot. i have never understood how it could be calming to someone, and i have bipolar and it just makes me crazy.
i wouldn't smoke weed and i definitely wouldn't try anything else if i were you. if people are pressuring you to smoke and you explain to them that it makes you crazy they will understand.
just a quick side note, cannabis is not for everyone. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder early on as a child. I started smoking pot around the same time. Note (I refuse to accept any statement claiming that marijuana causes bipolar disorder.)For me smoking pot was 1000% more effective at calming both my mania and my depression than drugs prescribed by the doctors.Now pot doesn't cure my problems but with it i can better control my symptoms than i could when i was zombified with prescription drugs. Just wanted to share my thoughts.
I use Cannabis Tincture It softens my bipolar mood swings
If not for pot, I wouldn't have got this far without totally ruining my life and no I had this disease way before I smoked, it started in childhood for me
I know Cannabis tincture works for me
It is more relaxing and emotional painkilling than smoking due to the small amount of alcohol, the reason I like it, it is a physically safe, non addictive natural herb, given by the creator "I have given you seedbaring Herbs, they are good"
sure natural psychotropics can have harrowing effects at times and two head of psych hospitals here say 1 in 20 inpatiens shouldn't smoke
Check the works of Lester Grinspoon
proff of psych from harvard
he wrote books on medical cannabis after being commisioned by US Gov to "find the dirt" on cannabis, couldn't find any and so wrote the books "marajuana reconsidered" and Marijuana Forbidden medicine
I used to starve myself and self mutitate as a BP teen, now I have a loving partner of 20 yrs, 7 kids to him and am a talented poet, singer and recording artist
Almost every time I try smoking marijuana the same thing that you explained happens to me. I think I just have a lot of insecurities and problems I have with myself. Try reading up on how weed brings out your real ego - a lot of people talk about how it helps them realize problems they have with themselves, and how it helps them have a normal high, and a better life in general.
This is very true. I believe it is your ego getting in the way and your attachment to your idea of reality. Your experiences sound very similar to what I have struggled with and i would be curious to see where you're at considering this has been a few years ago.. peace love and light
Pretty much every thing you experienced happens to me also, I am Bi-Polar, and it took me a long time to accept the fact that marijuana is not my friend, because it would make me have the same feelings and thoughts you had, every time i started to smoke weed i would go in to a bi-polar episode with extreme distortion of realty. when in this state of mind i thought that this is what reality really is, and only people who smoke weed know of this state of mind.
I was diagnosed with bipolar, though I don't actually think I am.. but anyway I have the same problem with weed. I have smoked a lot of it.. for some reason.. but I absolutely hate the feeling of being high on it. Like you, I lose complete reference of time, I start having these delusions and I'm the kind of high that if you want to tell me something you'd have to repeat it like 10 times, and even then I would forget what you had just said before I could reply lol so not very much fun to be around.. i get lost in my mind, and yeah it's no fun to me. I do like to do it sometimes to do experiments with myself.. i'm very into psychology. anyway, thats all!
I have had similar delusions of grandeur and social paranoia when high. Turned out I actually didn't like the people I was getting high with. As far as the delusions of grandeur, I think that comes with adolescence. I quit for about two years between the ages of 23-25, and afterward, the antisocial aspect went away, but the delusions of grandeur did not. I think it may just be what pot does to you. I wouldn't recommend doing it regularly, though. I just quit after three years non stop, and the anxiety and some suicidal thoughts (not to mention headaches) have me convinced never to do it again. Too bad, cause it can be quite fun.
I have tried salvia for spiritual reasons and I also have bipolor too. Because I am aware of the effects spiritual I was not really affected by it. Funny when u were righting I was thinking this isnt a tch trip someone slipped him salvia..lol..
Anyhow I smoked maryjane for 4 years straight. Ever since my very first hit that helped calm relax me. I swear I had never in my life sleep so good other than the day i had my first hit of marijuanna before bed. Aww the memories...anyhow I was a regular smoker if not a chain marijuanna smoker for it helped with the bipolar for years...soon though my body didnt need it anymore. I am not sure if it cured me or what but I know I still have minor bipolar...but u cannot even get me to smoke herb anymore. LOL. WEIRD! I mean I stopped during travelling and went about 4 days and then tried it and it was too strong...and then I was pretty much wanting some so i tried again and my body was like, "u dont want this" ...i started smoking ever 3 or 4 months but really I dont need it anymore. Its amazing! I do miss my wake and bake...but if i smoke now i only get paranoid mostly so I think my chemical imbalanced healed itself to its best ability.
I knew i was officially biploar when my first hit of mary jane made me laugh hysterically then cry within a few seconds later...then laugh....then cry in sadness and terror..it did this for literally an hour. That is when i finally believed the docs..LOL
I used to smoke pot back in the 90's along with other drugs and alcohol prior to being diagnosed with bipolar 2, add and ptsds. I went through a slew of medications until I was ut on paxil which I am now addicted to. Long story. Anyway, I have managed to cut my paxil down but have yet to be able to find a doctor who will help me off 0f this medication.
I recently started smoking pot again due to severe osteoarthritis. It has significantly increased my mobility and a surprising side affect is along with the paxil it has stablilized my moods significantly.
I wanted to state that yes pot can cause some of these symptoms if smoked in excess. When I first started taking it again I had similar feelings; however after cutting down the amount until I found a dose I was comfortable with, I was able to avoid these symptoms all together. I only need 4-6 puffs every 8 to 12 hours and I am looking into trying it in food instead due to the dangers of smoking it.
I just wanted to state my opinion and my personal experience with it.
I wanted to reply to this response as well. I appreciate your honesty with the marijauna post. It helps people better understand it and I hope mine will help folks know that if done in moderation the halucenagetic affects disapear.
I was told by a phsychologist that my type of biplor #2 is known to improve with age. I have noticed a difference after having it for years; however I wouldn't go off of my meds at this time. The pot has helped with the anxiety for sure and I will continue with it at least until I can get medical coverage for my knee and maybe longer if my moods continue to benefit from it as the paxil has not been able to have this much of an affect with me.