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bipolar relationships

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I've been on and off with my boyfriend for the last two years. Everything is fine for the first couple of months, but as soon as a stressful situation comes along ( like his grandfathers death, quitting his job, trying to get into college), we start fighting more, hes more irritable, picks fights over little things, and gets really angry when hes upset. After a big fight, he'll completely stop talking to me for days. It kills me because this guy is my bestfriend, we've gone through so much together and are completely in love. Except when this happens. After his angry and isolating stage, he meets with me and is depressed. Then he says we should break up, and he loves me, but doesnt know another way. He cries and cries while he breaks up with me and tells me he never wants me out of his life, but still he breaks up with me.
This has happened twice before, and then a week later he calls me and says he messed up and has no idea why he let me go, and needs me back. We get back, have a few months of happiness, then the cycle happens again. We just recently broke up again and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. He was so upset and didnt know what " was wrong with him and why he was so confused" and I just didnt want to let him go.
But, i did. and i have a feeling when next week rolls around, hes going to do the same thing. come back, and want me back. Im just so confused cause when its good, its amazing. Hes such a great boyfriend, hes caring and sweet and affectionate. But when this happens he doesnt want to be around or talk to anybody, isolates himself and says he doesnt know if he still feels the same as he did last week. Can anyone relate? is this normal behavior of a bipolar person?
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First Helper rtrforever
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replied July 22nd, 2010
I can definitely relate Sad
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replied July 22nd, 2010
I can definitely relate. I don't know why I put up with it. When my husband is feeling good, he is the most wonderful man and gives me the best memories. But just as often that rug gets ripped out from under me and he hurts me more than anyone has ever hurt me.
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replied October 19th, 2010
Experienced User
Yes, yes, I can relate. My boyfriend verbally abused me, blames me for everything that he thinks is wrong in our relationship, broke up with me saying he never loved me or never said the things he said, acts confused,write emails wanting to say he really likes me but can write emails that are incredibly hurtful, calling me everything under the sun, making me feel I1m a bad person and he is a victim, t the same time saying how much he cares and how important I'm to him. He can break up with me in the morning and phone desperate to see me in the evening,he then can be unloving when he sees me and indifferent, I always thought there was something really wrong with him, now my family and friends are saying to let himm go . He has no emotions and cannot realte properly, Im his number 4 and he is already on number 5 now, even though he says he is using her to test his mental health, whatever that means. Enough!
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replied October 20th, 2010
bipolar
hey im married iv been with my hubby for 5years we have a 7month old baby together and our 1st wedding aniversary is cuming up,im worried as im the one with bipolar im horribel to him most of the day im scared im going to lose him ,im being put on stronger meds atm one min he is my worldthe ext i want him out of my life ,what worried me the most was reading your post as its from his point of view someone help i dont want to lose him but at the same time im getting as much help aas i can,but he has never read up about it i have begged him too so he knows what it is at least but he wont why do you think this is??? thank you for your post opened my eyes
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replied October 30th, 2010
Experienced User
I can relate....and his behavior sounds to be normal for someone with BP...however I am no expert on the subject matter....thus I canmnot say for 100% one way or the other....just someone who has lived the nightmare and able to talk about it.

I remember the countless times I was dumped....over 19 times. I allowed her to come back to me each and everytime with open arms. I finally decided to end the relationship. When she left me for the ?? time....I found I had to cut all communications with her. When she broke up with me for the last time....it was during our last face to face conversation. She had asked me a question and I allowed her to think what she wanted....(because they are going to believe what they want no matter how far-fetched it is)....even though it was not true. It was my way of ending the relationship. It's hard to turn your back on someone you love.....but in my case it was all that kept me sane. It's been over a year now since the last contact.....I still think of her and love her dearly....however I had to do what was best for me.

In my case.....our relationship would have never worked long term.....she has sex with others, has violent mood swings and treated me like dirt 95% of the time. Last I know....she started to fall in love with an alcoholic.....this is the type of person she is and will probably never change.

Chris
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