You are not responsible for your husband's poor behavior. I can only encourage you to find a counselor or psychologist that has experience with bpd and family issues. You will have someone to guide you and give you perspective. This forum can give support and certainly people can give you some wonderful advice and ideas. I think having someone one on one is important. If you are truly afraid of him have a plan and a place to go in the drop of a hat. Just because a mental disorder is at play here is not an excuse or free pass to abuse loved ones. You need to be safe. Let your husband know that you are not going to put up with the nonsense. Let his doctor know that he is still angry. This is an indication that he is not stable. A dose or medication change may be in order but the doctor needs to know that he is not stable for that to happen. Do let the doctor know you are afraid. This needs to be documented somewhere. Let us know how you are!

antigone said it all pretty much. check out PTSD topic for yourself. i was abused by a man when i was 16 - 20 and i found out in my mid 20's that i have PTSD. not sure the extent of your hub's abuse but mine was very traumatic. i still suffer mildly. but have been dealing with it for 8 yrs now... therapy. just a thought =)

do you know what type of bp he has?

my husband also feels like he's hurting my condition rather than helping. it's a valid and normal feeling when u love someone and don't want to hurt them further.

def get a bag packed and stash it!!!

keep us posted and take care.

xoxo
puzzld

I am Bipolar 11 and I go through alot of rage. Now I find out that there is not much out there that will help me due to the fact I have so many of the things already that most of the side effect cause. So, I guess I'm on my own.
Rage is very common in with this. My son could tell the difference the day after I went off the medication. I would throw fits about anything that did not go the way I though it should go. Only thing you can do is wait and see how this medication works for him. It may or may not and may have to be changed. It can be a long road in finding the right BP med or medications.

Carrie

Really SORRY to hear about your situation.

With a name like Sparkle Eyes - or any other name - NOBODY...that's YOU, should take abuse from ANYBODY unless you signed up for a reality show or you're being paid to fight or something that will benefit you. I see no benefit in abuse unless you're masochistic, in which case you wouldn't be on this site.

I watched my mom take abuse for decades *the sake of the family, religion and all the other stuff that goes with guilt and low self-esteem and ignorance.

Look Sparkle, I had to learn how to be nice to girls because my father was gruff, vulgar, alcoholic and abusive mentally and physically so I'm telling you from a child's perspective with an adult's experience ~ it's wrong AND there is NO excuse!

And now you're on anti-anxiety meds? WOW!

If you guys get some professional help that's cool but NO medicine is going to
change his mind about WANTING to blame you by PROJECTING HIS ANGER ~ it might just alter his mood some and make his abuse easier to cope with but, truth be told, maybe you need to face facts here... What do you want out of the relationship and if you don't get your needs met, then what?

The torture that my parents put us through gave me PTSD amongst a few other things...out of *love*. And she had the right intentions like you do!

Are you too afraid to face life without him? These are important issues and questions to ask yourself and maybe if he won't go to therapy you should go anyway...ALONE! (Hopefully you both are and he's learning behavioral control), if not, why isn't he trying?

Now you're on meds, fine, but can you see what's possibly happening? You're beginning to deteriorate morally ~ because you live in fear which can eat at you and drain you on all levels.

If you have recognized this maybe you might ask yourself *how can I BUILD on false principles?* This makes no sense. Your heart and intentions are clouding your intellect, I'm sorry to say. Now remember, this is coming from a guy who saw his father project hate and anger from his mother onto my mother so if I'm wrong forgive me but I hate to see any woman (anybody) suffer at the hand of another who is using their disease as a crutch. My father had no right EVER to become violent to anybody...but he was and he did and we were and we got hurt and wounds heal but scars remain. Could this be you? Maybe you could use some of this perhaps as a checklist?

Obviously this has been going on for some time where you see patterns? What is HE doing about HIS lack of respect for his mate? That has nothing to do with anger otherwise we'd be shooting each other because we're using blame as an excuse to be mean, violent, and disrespectful.

I don't know your circumstances and it's obvious you're hurting and living in fear. Sounds to me that if you are living in fear, waiting for the other shoe to drop, maybe some therapy might help. PLEASE consider some of the things I said. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR VIOLENCE whether or not he has a disorder!

Take care~ : )

I am searching for answers as to what ticks my mate off. He is ok for a few days but when he falls off he is destructive until utter caos reigns. Thank you for this post. It has me thinking hard. I am sparkle eyes too.. always trying to put things in the best construction. thanks

houris 11