Bipolar Disorder Forum - Bipolar marriage falling apart

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Q: Bipolar marriage falling apart

asked by: Phocks on March 3rd, 2009

Experienced User

Hey guys.

For those who have not read my previous posts I was recently advised that I may have Bipolar. I am currently waiting for my psychiatrist appointment to confirm the diagnosis and start the treatment.

I have always had issues with depression but the episodes were few and far between. I would have a major depressive episode every 2 or so years and that was it.

Since last september I have been a a constant state of mental crisis. My psychologist believes that I am suffering mixed states bipolar.

okay so to the marriage. Every few weeks since last september I have had a major depresive episode. I would walk out and go off somewhere to be myself. I would drink myself stupid and then I would be verbally abusive and cruel to my wife.

She has always stood by me.

Monday night I had another depressive episode where I run off got drunk and cut my arm up with broken glass.

My wife has now decided that enough is enough and she cant take the abuse.

What does my future hold???

The divorce rate for Bipolar sufferers is apparently 90%!!

Does this mean I am destined to be single my whole life??

Am I going to just continue to meet people that tire of me??

I can understand why they do as I am getting tired of me??

Is there any chance i will ever have a successful relationship??

xoxox

Brad

Replies(8)

Rosie H

replied on March 5th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

I think I have a bipolar husband. Hes currently in jail because of his out of control beahvior. Im seriously re-thinking our entire relationship. He has put me through so much. If he doesnt change and get help I will not take him back. So I can relate to you and your wife.

I think you should just try your hardest to get to your doctor and try what ever treatments he wants to. Give it all 100% so your wife can see that you WANT to change and that you WANT her. Your actions will speak louder than your words. Remember we as wives can only hear the "Im sorry" routine so much before we say it back.

Hang in there and try to stay strong until you can get your eval or medication. As long as you put your best foot frwd the rest will follow

Rosie H

replied on March 5th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

you and your family will be in my prayers

I know how hard it id for me right now and I can only imagine how hard it is for you and my hubby

do you have any recollection of the things you do? is there any rational thoughts during one of those episodes?

lsawyer

replied on March 5th, 2009

New User

I HAVE 2 KIDS THAT R BIPOLAR A 20YR OLD AND 18 YR OLD NOW. THESE KIDS HAVE PUT ME THREW SO MUCH THREWOUT THE YRS. SOMETIMES MEDS DONT WORK BUT KEEP TRYING UNTIL U FIND THE RIGHT ONE.IT IS REALLY HARD FOR AND TAKES ALOT OF WORK UNTIL U GET IT UNDER CONTROL, BEST OF LUCK

katch

replied on March 6th, 2009

Experienced User

My husband had severe PTSDand a mild brain injury. We have been through our son passing at ayear old, job losses due to injuries sustained in the military, you name it. I'm tired of it too, but, he has been trying to get help. The military world is bad. At least civilians can get help quicker. If she truelly loves you, she needs to hang in there until you can get the help. He left for a couple of days and came back. Through everything, I still love him. I know in my heart that the things he does is not him, it's the mental disease. I love him dearly and even though I get treated the way I do, I can't live without him. He is my life. We have twin girls that would not survive without him either. You need support. Your in my prayers. katch

kallen

replied on August 17th, 2009

New User

Married 10 years to a man with bipolar disorder, currently separated.

As the wife, who's been through the heartache of being married to someone with bipolar disorder, here is my advice if you want your wife back.

1. You must stop drinking. Go to an AA meeting, you must be sober if you hope to get your mental illness under control.

2. Take your illness seriously, and take responsibility for it!!! Understand what bipolar is, how it works, what it does to you and what YOU can do to keep it under control (diet, exercise, meds etc.)

3. Be brutally honest with you wife, tell her exactly what you're feeling, and what you want!

4. Set goals, short and long term.

5. Take some time to yourself to get stable, and emotinally healthy BEFORE you try to win her back.

confusedcris

replied on October 31st, 2009

New User

I think kallen's tips are great. I, too, am married to a man with bipolar. We have been together since high school (14 years ago) and married for almost 9 years. I have always adorec him. He was diagnosed almost 5 years ago. Pleas get help! My husband does not stay on his medication and he quit going to his doctors years ago. It is so hard. I can sympathize with your wife. I feel like I have sunk with him. I am currently considering divorce because I don't know what else to do. I hope everything works for you--that you get help and can get your family back together. I know you first posted this in March. I would love to hear how you are doing, and I truly hope it is good news!

Phocks

replied on November 1st, 2009

Experienced User

Hey guys....

Thanks for your words of wisdome and advice.

Turns out I am not Bipolar....I have been officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I have kept the disorder under wraps for a long long time. It only surfaced about a year ago when I started having extremely vivid and violent dreams (brought on my Champix a wonder drug to quit smoking)

These days I can fly off the handle quit easily. I fall into a deep depression and want to hurt myself. This will usually only last a few hours or at most a night. Thats one major differance to bipolar as a bipolar may feel depressed for days or weeks.

Anyway....just wanted to update you all.

xoxoxoxox

Barto

replied on November 2nd, 2009

New User

The way you were talking phocks, you didnt sound bi polar to me.

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