I am so happy to have found this site. I am not alone. wow..that feels good. My husband of 7 years is bipolar (diagonsed only 3 years ago) so I know exactly what you guys are saying and feeling.
I am hurting now, as my husband left to see his family overseas, supposedly for 2 weeks, and has not yet come back, 11 weeks later. I get a call or a text about once a week. It is sooooooo hard on my emotions. I feel like screamng at him *what--do you just not think of me, all week--not once you thought that I might be happy to hear from you*
Before he left, he could not stand being away from me.It was all, I love you - I miss you. Right down to missing me when I was just out running to the store 5 min....???
And now this???
But I am trying really hard to stay calm, but sometimes I just feel like my life is on hold..you know.. like I say to myself -* ok.. when he calls I will feel better and then go to the gym*-- but in the meantime, I mostly lie around trying not to cry.
Will he be back?
Is this non-communication normal for bipolars?
What is the best way for me to deal with this? strategy wise
Dealing with someone who has bipolar disorder can sometimes be hard. My boy friend is bipolar so I understand all to well what you are going through. Have you talked to him about how you feel and the strain that he is putting on you right now? Is he taking his medication if so, he may need to have his script changed or adjusted. I cannot say whether or not he will come to his sences and come home to you. It is up to you to decide to stick it out and hope for the best or to move on with your own life.
thanks for your post. He knows how hard it is for me. He apologizes each time we speak. I am assuming he is still on his meds (he could be lying however).. this is not fun. No news now since last sunday (8 days).. for two people who practically spent every moment together, this is a drastic change that I was not really prepared for. He has been so stable for almost 2 years..
He has been gone a long time and he is with his family. He may have come to a point in his life that he feels like this is too hard for you and for him and he is resting from all the stress of keeping up with life itself. I'm bipolar and have been for 20 years. I understand, my first husband went out to get bread and never came back! I'll be praying for you.
My husband has been gone for 4 weeks now to see his family it was only going to be 2 weeks also he wont talk to me or email me he left very mad and wants a divorce he dosent care how he left me im in so much pain and can not function as a person. im very scared should i call him? last time i did he tells me im harrasing him, can someone tell me what to do please?
Oh my... I know how you are feeling. My bf is bipolar, Im at the moment away from the country and all he writes is one line emails just saying something about buying something for him, no news about himself, nothing, it is Very hard, I just wrote today and complained but I dont think he understands.
I try calling him he wont pick up i send him txt and nothing. im so upset and broke dont know what else to do 2 nites ago he send me a txt saying he cant sleep and he was thinking of me but he told me not to response which i did saying good nite that i miss him and now nothing he is ignoring me or found someone else. i cant get over this is so painfull and i love this person more than myself.
He finally called me last nite. He said he was calling back just to be nice that talking to me makes him mad that is the part i dont understsnd. I asked him to come back home for new years he said no that broke me in tears.all the times he left still new years we were still togheter.He said he was happy with out me and that we should not be on the phone that he has no feelings he just wants to be nice. all this is so hard and is driving me insane i know in my heart i will never love someone like him again or never love again. all he wanted was get off the phone and he was just thinking of eating something and going to bed. thats all he had in his head. all this is so dificult im scared im not going to make it with out him.what just i do next??
i beleive that BP emotions are for the moment they are living, they have a differente reality every day. Thats why he is thinking about eating and not talking to you. As for having no feelings, I get that all the time, however actions will eventually show true feelings, so I let him be. My bf just told me he has no feelings of love for me, only some rubbish about caring, consideration, etc, however he wants to see me and be with me a lot. This is BIPOLAR. MIne has accepted to go to the doctor because his ups and downs are getting too much.
This was the most horrible weekend Ive try calling him asked him to call me that i was very lonely left him messages and txt. the only respond i got back a txr saying he was at his dad saturday nite and that he was planning to stay sunday too which kinda surprise me cause he dosent like to be around his father that much then the last txt he send me last nite at midnite that he was being nice but hes mad at the txt that he gets from me that i dont respect him and that if he was going to call it wont be nice he said.i try him back his phone is off which he did tell me hes phone was dying no battery but in my mind i truly believe he is with someone else.waht realy worries me alot every time he left he will always call me every nite until he felt asleep in the phone and now nothing i ffeel he really dosent love me anymore even he told me is hard for him i dont believe it. i wanted to call his father last note to ask him if he was there but themn i tought about it and it will make him more mad.please tell me if my actions are wrong should i let him go which i can or stop this for a while until he feels he wants to talk to me? he did send me a txt saying he will call me when he wans to all of hs new personality sounds so cruel. is killing me inside im touching bottem here i have no motivation for anything just him in my mind wondering who he is with thats braking me more and more. please help me and tell me how to act in this situation.
just got off the phone with him he told me he dosent want me anymore he gets mad everytime i call him cause i wont let him move on he told me hes changing his number adn i would never hear from him that imharrasing him and he is realy done now, i told him i miss him he said he dosent care anything that has to do with me. ia thia true? should i stop calling him? i told him i took him from granted and that i can make changes to work this out but he said no more chances and he hang up on me and now he turned the phone off again. what should i do im broken hearted cant stop crying........
Again, I beleive this is a phase, he will come to his senses. mine did exactly the same and is back with me, however he is going to the doctor now. NO way I will stay if he is not medicated. Read the Forums, you will see hundreds of entries where the BP person disappears, closes the phone down, says he doesnt love the partner, (this happened to me)cheats, lies, etc, only to come back later wanting things to be the same again .Please stop crying and start thinking what to do when he comes back, like a doctors appointment.
DO U HONESTLY THINK HE WILL COME BACK. IM THINKING HES WITH SOMEONE ELSE HE SAID HE GAVE ME CHANCES AND I DONT UNDERSTAND HIM HE WANTS TO MEET SOMEONE HEALTHY AND MOVE ON HE DOSENT LIKES ME IS SO HURTFUL. HOW LONG WAS YOUR HUSBAND GONE? HOW LONG THESE PHASES LAST? IS BEEN A MONTH NOW AND HE STILL ACTS MEAN TO ME AND MAD.
Mine was not my husband, but my boyfriend who I love a lot, I was living with him. He just dropped me out of the blue, it took two whole months for him to resurface, he started to call again, to want to go out, we had a most terrible time for those two months as I would phone and he would be mean, close the phone on me, etc, till I stopped phoning and he started to phone me again.I still dont know what has caused that. He also made up a long story about another woman and he wants to come clean now and told me that it was all a lie, but I knew it already.
If it is to do with Bipolar I believe that he will come out of it,l if it is not, I mean, if he really wanted out of the marriage before and saw an opportunity now, it needs to be seen. I firmly believe that it is the ilness, as it is very much like other people with BP.
Well as soon as i started to write u he just txt me saying that its cold and snow where he is now out of the blue and he said he was going to call but mayb tomorrow insane all this. i want to get back on my feet cause im broken so i started the gym today is nice to get out of the house but when i come back again i miss him.why do bipolar people leaves us a tremendous scar and why do we love them so much? is it cause they are different? i love him very much and yes he cheated before when he left thats why is killing me knowing he may be with someone else it hurts. teh counselor i took him once said he is bipolar with borderline so is worse i dont know this is the 4 th time he did this in 6 years we been togheter. yes he did say before he wanted a divorce plenty of times i just want him back home.is been a month i miss my love.
All you say is very known to me, my bf has done it all.
yes, other people said bp people bring some terrible heartache and we love them terribly, I think it is because they are so strange and difficult. I have a gut wrenching love for my oh so strange man who can make up stories and disappear from my life and suddenly come back again and give me a incredible loving night. I dont know what to make of him and I think this can become an obsession.When he disappeared i used to go to an underground station where we used to meet and just stand in the very spot where he used to wait for me and just stay there on my own, that was the only way I could get near him as he was completely incommunicado, no texts,no phone calls,no emails, nothing. I even went to his work once to see him by far through a window, believe me. He is now back in my life, emailing me (9 emails yesterday), phoning me, wanting to be with me, saying the story about the other woman was ALL a lie, but there were too many details in the story, I beleive that not all was a lie, anyway, I need a time away from him to sort my own head,I believe that mine has some other problems as well apart from the BP.
ok listen to this i was walking to my dr appt suddenly he calls me and freak me out. i told him i was waiting to be seen he said this was my last chance to talk or that he will never talk to me or he would change his number.i had to leave the dr office like running away to take the call i got scared so he told me how much he hates me and calling me names i was so upset i told him that he should think nice of me i never cheated on him thats what he accused of so sudddenly time flew we were on the phone almost more than 2 hours and i asked him to be honest if he still loves me to come home he said he dosent want any pressure and no chances for me like if im the one who left 4 times or cheated which he did. finaly he said yes he loves me he will always love me and i will always be in hi heart but when he lives with me he dosent like me i dont understand this is all insane. then he started talking about sex that he misses that with me i told him i do too come home for christmas and still no. i said lets try again and work this out and no again that he is scared and dosent trust me. im in th limbo what next is he really comeing soon or not. please someone tell me what do i do next.
He is putting you through a lot of pressure and I know how you feel, however I think he is getting too much now and you shouldhave limits in what you are prepared to accept, and he is definetelly stepping over the mark now. Tell him ok, you have done nothing, if he wants to disappear,fine, you are all right with it and get on with your life, I understand that this approach works better with Bp people, do not play his game, this is utter madness. I have stopped playing my ex games and now he keeps telling he misses me (Im away from the country).He is giving you ultimatums and freaking you out, so typical BP, he also seems not to know what he wants, one minute he loves you the next he hates you, anyway, do not change your life, your appointmentes, anything for this madness, let him be and I garantee you he will come to his senses soon enough, but will you want to live with the possibility of this happening again, this is the dilema Im facing too, as my ex is back to his senses and wanting me back, however I told him he needs to see a doctor.
I know this is wrong trust me. but im so miserable with out him and im doing my best to let him know that I love him and im there for him. after we were on the phone for a long while and then he told me every detail of his life and he feels alone and miserable too he said he left cause he dosent trust me he thinks i cheat and seing other guys which is not true at all so i told him maybe is you the one who is doing this and he deny it.anyways we been tst last nite for several hours too and he said maybe he will comr back for the new years eve I just hope so and will pray that this happens. he said maybe he calls me tommorrow so many maybes with bp right is always black or white never in the middle. is hard im trying not to loose my mind. so waht should i do next. wait till he calls?