I have bipolar disorder and one of my best friends also has it. We've known each other for three years.
He's the only person I know who really understands me completely and he's told me before that I'm the only person he can be completely honest with. But we argue, really argue. We can be really horrible to each other. Then we can have mad, crazy ideas, none of which we would ever do.
I've told him he's the most important person in the world and he's told me I'm very special. What appeared to be a passing attraction during a manic episode (on my part at least) has now lasted for so long I can't even remember when it started.
We have both been in relationships in the past which were destroyed by bipolar disorder. Neither of us have ever had a relationship with anyone with bipolar. I haven't had a relationship for four years and he hasn't had a relationship for three years.
He told me once that he wouldn't want to lose me as a friend by getting into anything and then breaking up. Which was fine. I could deal with that. But now he's avoiding me. We don't talk anymore and I feel like I've lost him and I don't know why and I don't know what to do. He does still talk to me if I see him but he doesn't make any effort to see me and it's like something's missing when I do see him.
I'm scared to bring it up with him in case I say something stupid and make it worse, cos I'm good at making things worse by saying things without thinking.
This is really a big trait of bP to say things without thinking and making things really worse.I think your friend is really scared of starting a relationship with you since he knows that he has destroyed all other relationships. He is probably so worried about it that he is avoiding you, another bP trait. Find a good time to talk if you need to, but I would advise you against two bP people having a relationship, I really dont know how this would go. Up to you.
I take the point. It is messy and it's difficult when moods are opposite. I think the biggest problem is that relationships with people without it don't work either. Although I did see a CBT therapist once and she told me that I shouldn't have a relationship with anybody unless I can control myself. Maybe she was right. Lucky for me I don't want children
I am bipolar and my mother is bipolar. It is a hard relationship. If our highs and lows fall together it is even harder. When she is in a low and I am helping her out, it drags me into a low to the point where I can not help her. But I have learned to find a extra supply of strength deep deep inside me to use when my mom truly needs me. My mom has picked me up more times that I can remember. She has nursed me back to help after mental hospital episodes. She wont stay on her meds and is always going off them, which is just not good. So we have an understanding now that it is a requirement to have relationships. She always checks if I take mine and I always check on her. She is my best friend because she can understand what I am going through. But is my worst enemy when I dragged into a low with her or am in a low and have to use all my strength and be sucked dry to help her out.
I also have a good friend who is bipolar. I owe him my life....literally. He saved me when my doctor cold Turkeyied me off a medicine and I snapped and overdosed on ambien. If it was not for him showing up at my house, calling an ambulance I would be dead. But he understood what the emotions, feelings and such things that were going on in my head and knew to take me seriously.
The first key in any bipolar person having a relationship with another bipolar or even any person is taking care of themselves. Through medicine, meditation, sleep schedule, exercise and good nutrition. bipolar or not a person who does not take care of themselves will not be successful in relationships.
Yes it is great having a bipolar friend to talk to, but I could never be in a bi polar love relationship. It is not healthy for either person. I have read up on bipolar to bipolar relationships and they all have the same conclusion. but if you are both willing to work on yourselves 100% to be able to then support the other person with out it effecting you...then who knows. it could work.