Bipolar Ex wants to be friends (Page 1)

Basically, me and my ex girlfriend (who has been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and takes medication) where together for almost 21 months. We are both 18 years old and we where in a long distance relationship.. Now i know everyone on this forum will wonder how did this relationship work? But it did for the first 1 year, everything was amazing, everything went well, she seemed rather obsessed with me (which i didn't mind), wanted to talk to me all the time, used to show me lots of love, when we saw each other it would be amazing, lots of cuddles, kisses etc, the usual lovey things. Until things went a bit downhill, she was judging the relationship, we used to break up (just for the day usually) over silly things, I guess overtime I took her for granted I thought to myself she would just come running back everytime until the tables turned and everything changed.

One time we broke up for a month because she was stressed due to exams + having to revise for 5 different subjects because she is going to university this year dependent on her results, we continued talking and one day we met up and talked properly face to face, I finally got out of her when she finishes her exams she would give our relationship another go.

Anyways, keep a long story short, for the past 1 month (or longer) she has been going out everyday, trying her best to get out of the house because her dad also suffers from Bipolar (he is about x3 worse than her in my opinion) and her mother may have Cancer, so to stop her drifting into a depressive phase she is trying her best to get out and about to forget about her worries.

I had suspissions that something was going on behind my back because I would try my best to create convosation with her and in reply I would get the shortest answers, she wouldn't create it back with me, I just had to prove this. After about 1 week of getting this treatment I phoned her and tried to discuss the situation, she said she was 'busy' and she stated she didn't know what to talk to me about, she said she was sick of telling me what she was doing, even if she goes out at night (all night), I asked her if she loved me and I got back "yeah, I do, but not in the way you want me too".

When I got home that night I went on one of her best friends profiles on Facebook (because I don't have her added on her Facebook due to certain reasons which I won't go into), I noticed that he came friends with someone so out of curiousity I clicked the persons profile who he became friends with and realised the boy who her best friend became friends with is "in a relationship" with my girlfriend!! I was so angry, I didn't know what to think, I felt useless and I felt nothing to her anymore. I phoned her and said a lot of stuff as you can imagine, (you would understand if you have ever been in my situation). She hung up on me and I tried to phone her yet again, no answer.

1 hour later I get a text message saying why she done it, saying she was in the relationship just for my benefit because she didn't want to hurt me anymore than what she has done, the whole time she was trying to push me away so that I would end the relationship so it would be a mutual breakup, but I found over Facebook and this made me MUCH angrier.

We talked for about 2 weeks after this, I said the usual stuff, trying to get her back because I totally 100% love her. I said everything under the sun, literally everything to try and get her back with me, nothing. I have emotionally given up at this point.

I will now tell you all what our situation is now:

She is with another boy, she got with him on the 24th of July, she has known him for 2 weeks, I said 'this is a rebound' she states that it is not a rebound, but in my head I know it is.

She needs to get out of her house because of her Mum and Dads' situations, if she doesn't get out of there, her Bipolar will get dramatically worse and she may end up in hospital again.

She doesn't have many friends, she has about 3 best friends, because over time she has pushed them away due to the way she is, her friends cannot go out with her alot of the time so she has got with this boy, he goes out a lot, has lots of friends, so she feels if she gets "in a relationship" with him she will be able to go out a lot, get her mind off things etc.

She says she wants to be 'friends' with me and I think you all know that is literally impossible to deal with, maybe over time when I have moved on I can be friends with her but it will take ALONG time to get over her as I love her with all my heart, at this moment in time I want her so bad, but I just know whatever I say I cannot get through her head, it's like talking to a brickwall most of the time when it comes to relationships.

She said to be "we can talk normally, see how it goes without pressure and maybe we can get back together?". I just know even if things progressed between us, she won't break up with him becuase of the fact that she still wants to go out with him and get out of her house?

She added the fact she wants to live her youth, she doesn't want to look back and hate me because of the fact I stopped her enjoying herself entirely? She wants to get the most out of it, but I don't see why I would stop her because I have NEVER told her that she can't go out, and I never will say that, so thats just Bull. She will hate me the fact that we got so serious at such a young age.

So basically, in 5 weeks, she will be back to square one, she will be moving to University (she would be closer to me than she would be to him) she will be in another long distance relationship with him if she continues to go out with him (which she said she is basically with him so that she can go out alot more), now, I am not a relationship expert but I really do not see this relationship lasting, I got a feeling she will break up with him a week before she leaves for University, but when she goes to University, she will have to make new friends, will they accept her for the way she is? Overall won't she feel worse because she has nobody to talk to about her problems (which she could discuss with me?).

You can call me any names you want, but I am just telling you the situation from my point of view, I really do not know what to think anymore, I wish I knew what to think but it's just impossible, I still love her but I feel because she has moved on, I should also move on, but it is ALOT harder than said, I still love her to pieces, I miss her so much at this moment in time, I hope one day soon, she will realise and will come running back and maybe we can have something but I cannot wait for ever, I have told her this. I think she will realise this when I eventually move on which will screw me up a lot more.

In the end, I set her straight, I basically said, "it's either me or him", she didn't know what to say because we were disputing this for a few days, she was trying to avoid the situation so that she could remain 'friends' with me, she said everytime she has a problem she comes to me becuase she knows that I am here for her all the time. We both finally came to a decision, she picked him over me because she could go out with him all the time and get out the house and keep her mind off things and stop her getting into a depressive state.

The last text message she sent me that day consisted of "If I realise properly how stupid I was, I will contact you".

We never contacted each other for 1 day, until I got an e-mail saying 'I'm missing you loads. Love you Peter xxxx'

2 hours after that e-mail I got a text saying, 'Sorry for texting, I just need to do this because I am missing you loads, I need to help myself by doing this, Love you Peter xxxxx'

1 hour later, I never replied, she sent me another text saying 'Please can you just send me a blank text so that I know you're alright?'

I still hadn't replied, half an hour later, another text saying 'PLEASE, or I will ring you :/'

I never replied again, she phoned me, I let it ring for a while, then answered it, she asked if I was okay, I said yes, I didn't know what to say, I was blank, there was nothing I could say at all which would change her mind and make her love me again, she I stated 'this is all you, you've made this decision entirely', she said "yes I know" and that was the end of the convo.

Basically, the way I am thinking at this present time, yes maybe she is going out and having fun, but when she is at home alone with nobody to talk to, she is thinking about us, thinking about where we went wrong and regretting a lot of stuff, she is paranoid over the fact that I may be moving on and the fact my world no longer revolves around her so she tries to contact me because she is used to me just talking to her when it suits her.. At this present time, yeah maybe I will start another relationship with her but there will always be trust issues because of what she has done to me, she should have broken up with me before she did what she did.

I am writing this because I need to clear my head, I need to talk about my feelings and get some feedback on my situation, it is very difficult. I am not blaming this situation entirely on Bipolar, but I am just stating the fact my ex-girlfriend because it may have an effect on her over all decision, one day may she realise she made a real bad mistake, rememeber I was the only person she knew that totally understood her, the only person who was there every min of the day to help her with her problems? Do you think one day she will come running back? or is this just my ambitious thinking?

Thanks in advance.

I am sick of being a doormat for her, I am sick of being spoke to like crap, I am sick of her talking to me when she feels it is best to, this is one of the main reasons why I have cut off contact completely because this way, she is either speaking to me properly, or she isn't. I want her to miss me, I want her to feel lonley (it may sound harsh), this way maybe she will realise where she went wrong and what she has thrown away, I tried so hard, I put up with everything from her and this is the way she repays me. If we do try again in a relationship things will change completely, I won't be there as much and I won't let her take me for granted as much as she has done.

I thought she loved me, I thought she wanted to be with me for ALONG time, yes I will admit, we did have bad times but apart from that I don't totally understand.