Bipolar ex bf -Any other young females dealt with a bipolar guy?

I could chat with you, if you read any of my posts, you will see what I went through with my BP bf. He is now away from me and Im still hurting, though I think it is for the best.

Pinksparkles....
I understand. Been there myself, but everyday I get stronger and realize I am better off without him. I ended up in therapy for his problems. The emotional abuse was over the top. My therapist told me it gets worse with age and he could possibly harm me. That was enough to set me free.

Sorry to hear it. You'll start feeling better in a month or two. I can certainly say that it has been an eye-opening experience for me.

Sorry to hear you are hurting. Please seek therapy as it will help you through the grieving process of the relationship. There are so many testimonies/experiences on this board and others of the similarities of what it is like being in a bipolar relationship. Common denominators: 1) NO ONE deserves abuse. A person with bipolar disorder is no less accountable for abusive behavior 2) Love yourself enough to be treated with respect. 3) Don't give someone an opportunity to reject you again. If your partner has bipolar, then they need to be in talk therapy and on their meds. These should be the conditions before even contemplating staying in such a relationship. 4) Ponder this...your lost self esteem as a result of this relationship may take longer to recover from than finding someone new that treats you with respect. You deserve to be happy. Heal and learn from the experience and move on. 5) This too shall pass. You will come out of this stronger. Hang in there!

How Do I Get Over My Bipolar Ex Boyfriend ??
This was my last letter to him from jail:

Why didn't you just stick a knife into my heart when you had the chance, it would have saved me alot of pain and agony....!
I cannot love a man who has treated me the way you have, if I did then I would not be loving myself or God...
Right from the start you hurt, lied and cheated on me, I thought we loved each other and had a 'special connection',
but I was wrong...It was like I was your homebody, there for you while you went out to 'play'...and when things went
badly for you, you'd come back home to me for nurturing and to grow strong again and then go back out and do your
evil all over again,..and again ...and again ..I am breaking this chain....!
You said I was your "rock", but God should have been your rock, I insulted "Him" for taking "His" power away, you
should have depended on "Him"only... not me. I have prayed and prayed while you were in jail for you to find "Him" and to
open your heart for "Him" to come inside, also at the same time, I promised God that I would not be in your life anymore so
you would depend on only "Him"....I am keeping that promise....!
I would also like to add, I heard Michelle Johnston tell Chandra in the kitchen that "I was evil"....I do not know these
women, and they do not know me except thru you ! and this was all done by you and your correspondance with Michelle
while you were in jail....you are a troublemaker, a liar and a gossip, but now I am out of your life, so this should end....she
came very close to being arrested for stalking me, there is a stalking law in effect, she has been warned, the police have her
name along with my domestic violence counselor, so be advised......also, I am advising you not to approach or contact me....
I will mail your musical instruments....I want nothing of yours in my possession...
I am leaving on the 22nd, you will not hear from me again....I wish you good luck and am happy you found Jesus, I hope
when you leave jail that you do / did not leave "Him" there......

Good Bye Cord, Vaya con Dios

'Pip' scared


Since this, he has moved to another town and has 'hookers' on his FB profile...and is again "Walking on the Wild side"..I have deactivated my FB account...I want no temptation to view him.... He get a mental SSI ck on the 30th of each month and it's gone by the 10th of the following month...in 11 days his money is all gone, then he resorts to stealing and selling drugs!, he spends his SSI money it on drugs and prostitutes..!! He lives off other people and is running out of people to use, including me !! My opinion:.. he will be back in jail in no time!!!! LMAO !!

Last Edited by jandressup on 10/07/2011 10:57 AM

The original post is like my own story: 4 year relationship, on/off, I'm 28...
It's been 6 months and I'm not over the hurt... I've been in therapy for 5 months and I haven't achieved much... He drags me through the ground every time we talk when all I'm trying to do is find out if he's ok or not... He's been an addict for 10 years (he started as a teenager), has PTSD and possibly ADHD on top of his Bipolar II Disorder... Idk what to do, I love him so much...

I read "Women who love too much" and "Codependent No More" and I still hurt... I even tried dating someone else... It didn't work. M BP love seems to blame me for anything and everything by taking his anger out on me...

Any suggestions?

wow im going through exacly this its just anoying and hurts you know its not you but at the same time you feel thats its your fault, they take everything out on you and pick and drop you when they feel like it then their moods change so dramaticly you realize they have a problem and if it wasnt for that problem you would be in love and almost perfect for eachother you also love this person so you keep holding on hoping things will get better they might do for abit but it will happen all over again and only get worse. if their is someonelse out their you like and could see yourself with go for it your lucky you have a chance of being with someone who will want to make you happy, give you the love you need and deserve, otherwise if you are so in love like me you are jsut going to chasing something you will never really get and feeling like your not even in a relationship with that person but trapped.

hello, I'm in the same situation right now, i just broke up with my boyfriend,he is bipolar, we had 1 year together only, but for me was enough to stay all damage psychologically. I'm also looking for some support, because i cant express how i am feeling right now, and all i've been throw. i dont know if i ever be able to recover and continue my life, without those images in my head. i really appreciated if someone can help me. thank you

hello, I'm in the same situation right now, i just broke up with my boyfriend,he is bipolar, we had 1 year together only, but for me was enough to stay all damage psychologically. I'm also looking for some support, because i cant express how i am feeling right now, and all i've been throw. i dont know if i ever be able to recover and continue my life, without those images in my head. i really appreciated if someone can help me. thank you

Hello everybody!

First I want to say that I've been reading these posts for about a year now, but never really decided to post my own story. I'm not American, so it felt kinf of strange, since this is US forum, but i'm going to share anyway. But I apologize for any mistakes I make, my english is not perfect.

I'm 27 years old and i meet my boyfriend exactly 2 years ago. He's 3 years younger than me. Me and my best friend went out partying with some other friends and in the morning we all went for a little "after party time" at the apartment where he lived with 3 other friends, because they were studying in that city. We didn't really talk that day, just secretly looking at each other and 2 days later we started talking on facebook chat, then MSN and couple of days later when he got home for the weekend we got together.

It was so fun, we did everything together and he was so in love with me, and I was his first girlfriend. We were hanging at his parent's house for about a month when he told me he was bipolar. I already knew he has been hospitalised, but never knew his diagnose. The thing is, I live in a small European country, so a lot of people know each other. We have a lot of friends in common and even my best friend knew him from high school and knew he had mental illness. But I didn't care when she told me, because I never judged people like that. But if I knew then what I know now, I would probably run like hell!

Well, the first month was so great, we were laughing and driving around and going to a lake or just hang out in his room, watching movies or funny videos on youtube, we would have sex like 5 times a day and just talk about everything.
He was so funny and sweet, he was everything I wanted in a man and more!
I've had relationships before, but I never felt real love and devotion. He changed all that. I was sooo in love with him. Then we both realized, we're so much alike. We think the same thoughts, have the same dreams about life, like same stuff and are both very sensitive and caring.

After about 3 months he took me to the coast when we lived 4 days a week (college). It was so strange when we got there. He went to school and later work and left me there with his 3 roommates, who I didn't know so well. It was so unpleasant. I waited there the whole day and he didn't even call me after he was done with his hob, but called his roommate so he had to tell me that my boyfriend is comming back. But he didn't. He went for a beer. That kind of behaviour is not appceptable for me. So we had a little talk and everything seemed fine. In the middle of the night he got out of bed and started watching snowboarding on utube. It was about 3 in the morning so I told him that this wasn't normal and he should get into bed and try to sleep. I don't even know how we got into an argument, but I know I asked him if he didn't love me and that question made him punch the wall and break his hand. It was terrible. The next day he told me to get out of his life and that he doesn't want me around anymore. So I went down to the beach and just cry my eyes out for a couple of hours. He picked me up later, still very angry and he was just being really rude and continue to hurt me. I'm the kind of person who can always stand up for herself and doesn't let anybody take their crap on me, but he changed all that, I don't know why, I just couldn't leave him, I didn't want to lose what I've been searching my whole life, just because of one ugly scene. So I went back and we were supposed to stay there for a couple of days, but he said he wanted to go home and we did. After we talked he said he didn't mean all those things he said and that he was sorry. It was great for a month or so, then my birthday came up. His father wanted him to help on their weekend house and his mother also didn't want him to be with me on my birthday, but rather with his drunk ass father who has done nothing good in his life so far. So I sort of let that one go and he promised he would come 2 days later and we would celebrate it together. He never showed up. He said his father didn't want to drop him at my house. Ok, so I forgave him once again, because he said he's gonna come the next day and we'll have all day just to ourselves. He even called me when he was going to me but I waited 3 hours (he needs 15minutes) and he still wasn't there. I called him and he was drunk with his friends out on the lake. I was so pissed of, I called my best friend and we went out and I didn't answer his calls. After a couple of days I made the biggest miskate ever and called him myself and asked him if he wants to get together and talk. We talked, I told him how I felt and that this can not happened again. Of course he made all this meaningless promises, and I believed him like so many times after that. We shared everything, but it was more like that; when I had money it was ours, when he had it it was his. And I helped paying car registration and services, but he told me I couldnt drive it anymore that is not save enough, so I asked him , if it's not save enough for me, how come he had a baby car seat in (for his niece) and he just freaked out, why am I asking him and if I don't stop he will leave. I didn't stop, cause I wanted answers, I will not just stand there and act like everything is normal. So he left once again. I was running behind him trying to make him stop and talk to me, but he didn't listen, he ran up to his car and drove home. He turned off his cell phone and I spent another night crying my eyes out and wondering why this is happening to me.
After every "incident" I would try to work thing out, we would talk for 5, 6 hours and made a deal about everything, made the whole plan how to make it work. It only lasted for a day or two, then it was all forgotten again. One day I decided that I couldn't live like this anymore and told him that it was over. A few days later i got a call from unknown number so I went on the internet and it was the nuimber of a mental hospital near by. I knew it was him and he was hospitalised again. I didn't call back I just went there. He started crying and hugging me and I just felt so happy to be in his arms again. I never wanted to let him go again. So we had another talk and for a while things were normal again. After six months or so I found out he has talked to some girls on facebook and that was at the time we were together and I was visiting him every day in the snow I walked to the bus and go there and be there whole day, but still he wrote them. And he wasn't even sorry he said I made him do that because I was jealous and things like that. I was hurting so much I couldn't even breathe. That kind of episodes happened every 2 days or every week if I were lucky!
I lost my friends, my job, I quit school to be there for him all the time, I moved in with him and now I'm stuck! 5 month ago I've had it. He left again for no reason and left me crying alone in my room, even though I begged him not to go that I need him. He didn't care. So that day something change inside of me and I send him a message (because he wouldn't answer his phone) that it's really over and I don't want anything to do with him anymore. That hurt him very much and in the next couple of days I didn't answer his calls or emails, I really wanted to end all that sh*t. But as days were passing by, I couldn't take it anymore, I still loved him and I gave up and meet him.
He was soooo sweet, you wouldn't believe it. So I took him back under condition that nothing like that will ever happened again. I believed 'cause I WANTED TO be true so much!! Everytime I was dreaming about how happy we are, and everytime for the last two years I've been shocked more times than I can imagine. So after this we moved in together and for 4 month it was so great! It was like a fairytale and I didn't want it to ever end.
We had some arguments, but we solved all of them together and it was fine. In the past 4 month he told me every single day how much he loves me and wanna be with me for the rest of his life. AGAIN I believed him, he was so nice for such a long time that I started to be happy again and just when that happened, he turned into that guy that I hate again and in the last 5 days he manage to ruin everything we worked for and everything we had and he just called me 10 minutes ago and said again it's over and he doesn't wanna be with me anymore and was so rude all over again! Nothing has changed, it's only getting worse. So today I had to decide to finally get out of this circle of pain and suffering, because I'm all depressed and lost and don't really know what to do, where to go... I love him so much and just wish that everything could be tha way it was but I know in my heart that is never going to be okay. It's never gonna work. And he is medicated and goes to therapy,I even go with him, but nothing works. He's been on all sorts of medication, because in our country it's all free, we don'r have to pay for medication and doctor apointments. He was on lithium, depakine crono, abilify, ciprexa and so on. The sad thing is, that he was at his best when he decided to go of the meds, he was so good to me then, but he was hearing voices and couldn't function properly. I was so hoping that the meds wouldn't make him like that again, but unfortunatly I was right, even if it makes no sence, he gets like that when his on meds. He says he doesn't have any feelings at all and he doesn't care about anything.
I know I have to leave him as soon as possible, even if that means that I would be hurting even more, because if I stay I will just die of sadness. He is trying to hurt me in every way possible, so that I would come crying and begging him to love me again. But it's so not going to happened this time. I'm done with this crap, I just wanna be haopy again, I was always so full of life and I always had a lot of friends and things to do. Now I'm just lost in this world, I lost everything I wanted in my life and it hurts so much, it's unbearable.
I know for a fact, he'll be back with his sweet words and sad puppy eyes, but my job is to ignore that and stick to my plan, because I know in my heart only leaving will save me. Nothing can ever save him, I so wanted to, I wanted to show him how great can life be, but instead, he pulled me into his world of negativism and drama. I'm ever more !**@! up that him now and it's just not right!
I know I'm leaving the best thing that ever happened to me, the person I connected to on so many levels and love him so deeply that it's breaking my heart just to think about him.
But the point is, I have to be realistic, I know we could never be really happy and tearless for a long period of time.
I wish for every and each one of you, that things will turn out right, but be real and don't stay if you are sad most of the time.
This is my story...
M.

Oh God!! I have felt so Identified with your story that I even start crying again. I know exactly how your felling right now. It's been a month since a took my desition and believe me it has been the bets desition I have ever made. And you know what, i feel so proud of my self because I have been in front, face tO face, with the only perso I have ever loved, and I have told him : I don't want to be with you anymore. And in the moment I said that I feel so hurting and I want to kiss him but just have to recall a few images I have in my head that believe me, they are the most hOrrible memorys and that makes me stronger enough to say that to the Person I love. And it worth It.
I'm so happy to see that you also could run away from all that sh*t. Congrats and I promes you everything it gonna get better.