You are not alone in this. There are many people that share your pain. I have children that have bipolar disorder. It is challenging to live with this disorder. With treatment life can be a little easier.
Interesting that you mention alcoholism in your family. That is currently a screening question in one's history when evaluating for bipolar disorder. Alcoholism and bipolar disorder share some of the same genetic markers.
Pressured speech (just won't shut up), rapid speech, flight of ideas (changing the subject of conversation constantly), boisterous behavior, risky behavior, grandiosity, uncontrolled spending, sexually promiscuous behavior, irritability, agitation, raging, explosive anger, sleeplessness, less sleep required, craving sweets and carbohydrates, and giddy, hyper behavior are some of the symptoms of mania. Every person presents differently. Each episode may present differently.
Some people cycle rapidly - several times a day. Other people cycle with the seasonal changes in fall and spring. Some people have mixed states in which they appear depressed and manic at once (one of my boys does this). Starting to recognize the different behaviors with each state of bipolar disorder may help you keep track of your progress. Mood charts are available on-line. Just do a google search for mood chart. You will find several different types. Find one that is easy for you to fill in. Keep track of your moods. It is a great tool for you to see your own progress and you can show your doctor. It will give your doctor a birdseye view into your progress and response to medications. It can be difficult to remember everything at a doctor appointment.
Staying medicated is essential. Some people stop taking their medications because they feel better but fail to make the association that is is because of the medication that they feel better. Abruptly stopping any medication can have some very serious consequences. It is best to talk to your doctor and get the doctor's input with changes to medications.
Once you have been treated for bipolar disorder your moods should even out a bit. Some of the irritability and anger issues should improve. It takes some medication about 4-6 weeks to reach therapeutic levels. Mood stabilizers take some time but are generally very effective in treating bipolar disorder. Let your doctor know if you do not start to feel better.
Keep posting here in this forum. Please feel free to ask more questions. That is why we are here. I hope I have answered some of your questions. Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.
