My boyfriend of over a year was diagnosed with bipolar disorder last summer. For the past ten years before that he was diagnosed with severe depression and has attempted three times, one of the times I stopped him. Things were easier when we were both in the same school together.
His self destructive tendencies have caused him to move back home to his family. As he puts it: My self-destructive nature has temporarily forced me out of college and to live back home. I've been twice diagnosed as bipolar, but my family won't have any of that.
They've been highly critical of my doctors---even threatening to kill them at one point for ruining my future. They refuse to take any part in my treatment, even when they're requested to attend. They're trying their best to keep me away from my best friend, who has supported me for the past year and has helped stop one of my prior attempts. They've even been critical of and implied I should halt my medication, although they've now backed down on this.
I'd leave, but I don't have the financial means to do so. To be independent, I would first need to be stable. To be stable, I'd first need to be independent.
I think---well, hope---that I can keep it together long enough to find a job and get the hell out of here.
When I'm at home, I can't always be there to help him. I have my mom to take of as well. He's lost motivation to do much of anything, and says he just needs someone to be there for him in person when he needs it. Which I can't do right now, I'm restricted at home, and while I love him, my other obligations don't allow me to go to him.
I've been trying to talk to him online, listen to him, offer advice, but he waves it aside at times. I don't know what more I can do for him.
Can anyone give me advice here? Or can anyone bipolar shed light on how he might be thinking for me? Thanks.
It's easy for someone who doesn't have a mental illness to say "oh get over it" or "just shake it off, you'll be fine". At first my family was real critical about my situation. I asked for help but was shunned to the side like it wasn't a big deal. When i was younger my mom ignored it and said it was just a teenager being a teenager. I tried twice to kill myself and both attempts failed. My previous marriage failed due to my bipolar and other factors on my x husbands part. If he's in the depression stage, he will never get help and never be motivated to move out to seek the help he needs or to be independent. If his family is the problem he needs to remove himself from the problem, does he have anywhere else to go? Your place, a group home, a friend? There are other alternatives. Also there are other phases to bipolar as well... another is the euphoric stage (feeling on top of the world) nothing can bring you down and magically feel like your healed from the illness which will deter the person/s from getting help. The ones who are being supportive will be the enemy as well, everyone is out to get you and everyone is against you. But sweety what you gotta remember, in order for one to get help, they gotta want the help. If he doesn't do anything to help himself then no one is gonna help him. I learned that the hard way. I hope the best for you and your Bf.