I developed bipolar 3 years ago but was not diagnosed until recently. I started with cutting and binge eating followed by starving, not realizing why I was doing these things. then came months of "mania" in which I starved until I was underweight with medical problems. A couple months later my depressive stage kicked in, I gained all the weight back plus more. As time has gone on the stages have become shorter and more severe. I dont eat for 2-4 days, am super energized and friendly (etc) and then depression comes and I cant stop eating. the pain of sadness gets so bad that I cut and do whatever drugs I can find, usually painkillers or speed. sometimes I use them to kill my appetite also. recently I started taking wellbutrin which has shortened the mania/depression but its still bad. can anyone relate to me and tell me what has worked for them?
I can relate. I have a history of eating disorders, mood disorders, desire to self-harm, and am currently in the diagnosis phase for bipolar. It sounds like you are still figuring out what kind of medication will work best, do you agree? I have tried many types of medications, and am seeing a new dr. this week in hopes of finding a better treatment plan for me. I have found that you have to be very persistent in recognizing when a medication is not working and be willing to try something new. I chart my moods throughout each day when trying a new medication, and this seems to help. I would also recommend trying to find a more healthy way to channel your emotions and negative feelings. I express negative feelings through art, and this is very, very helpful for me. When I have desires to self-harm I exercise, and have found this to be a more healthy way to (in a way) experience a level of pain that helps release those feelings of anger. I also sometimes write down whatever I am feeling. I hope this helps, and send you positive, healing thoughts.