My appreciation for the help of someone who may know what to say to me is beyond words...pls tell me your thoughts. thank you sincerely.


My boyfriend of 8 months has mental disorders that are alien to me and I hate to be reading up on it but he's left me no choice. Here's what I know for sure: he's taking multiple meds, lamcital and lithium carb seem to be the most consistently taken. there is also provigil, propanal, gabapentin, deplin, welbutren, addereal (but those dont seem to have been touched for a while...)

I was in his car once and found a prescription sheet that read 'bipolar II' on the bottom. Right then, I thought Id figured it out, but he's never used that word and just recently i got out of him that ''6 years ago he heard voices in his head...that he actually started to believe what they were saying...it wasnt voices he knew...and he was in an institution" for 3 months i think it was. . . I can see why its so hard for him to talk about bc I can hardly write about it annonymously right now...but right after he said this he shut off and seemed to be angry at himself for even opening up to me and telling me this.

I've brought this up numerous times as i feel i deserve to know whats going on, he's even mentioned that sometimes he doesnt feel like a man...and from reading i believe that it a symptom of bipolar disorder...? if he is bipolar, what is this about hearing voices? and he says he hasnt heard voices since he was hospitalized, but I have a feeling he was lieing bc he's embarrassed...does it go away? are these drugs for psychophrenia? does he still hear voices?

stuttering, he mentioned that a while ago as a current symptom, but I've never heard him stutter...to be honest i think the time he told me...it seemed like he was pretending to have trouble finding words. that could be my own paranoia though, which is beginning to take a toll on me i think...my paranoia, now im having trouble trusting him when hes done nothing to make me think unfaithful of him and were together all the time, and i pretty much live with him and we've probably spent a total of 10 night apart in the last 6 months! which is why i dont feel too bad about being so sneaky, i looked up everything in the cabinets and they all lead to treatments of depression or other bipolar symptoms. the researching started about 2 months ago...when i learned all about mania and euphoric behavior...afterwards I started noticing the extravagant purchases like a new souped up car, and online ordering...etc.

he see's a therapist twice a week, my god I wish to be a fly on the wall!!! Is it out of line to ask to meet this guy? his therapist? I mean, its natural to me to be curious who all this is coming from-I want him to explain it to me, is that crazy??

the past 8 months have been the most incredible ive ever lived, I am madly in love with him but get scared that I dont even know the real person he is bc he's on so many meds ;( can someone taking all these meds have a healthy relationship? we fight alot, but we make up better I believe its mostly bc hes ultra sensetive, way moreso than i..I am very laid back and whimsical...but not now, not about this...

im learning to adapt to his needs and how to care for him by being sesnsetive to his sensetivity...does that make sense? I just want someone to tell me what this sounds like...what to watch for, what sounds abnormal...what i should do or not do in certain situations...anything


I truly thank whoever took the time to read this as it took a lot to finally post this, please be bluntly sensetive with your response if you have one . thank you very much