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Bipolar 2 and BPD

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i am a 24 year old female, i was recently diagnosed with bi polar 2 and borderline personality disorder. at first i felt relieved, that i finally knew what was wrong with me, but now i find myself searching for more than just a diagnosis, i want to know how i can make my life better, and all the therapists and doctors don't seem to be able to give me a tangeable answer to my questions, i often feel over medicated and sluggish, i have major mood swings still even after 5 months of treatment. all of this came after i left an abusive husband, who threatened to kill me and attemped at least twice that i know of, his friend later admitted to the police that he had a plan to poision me. some doctors say i have post tramatic stress syndrome, and post partum, because i was pregnant and his beatings caused me to lose the baby....i guess i am just looking for someone to tell me that i am not crazy and to know that im not alone in this fight, that its not just me against my mind....
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replied May 8th, 2009
Your Not Alone
I've seen what your going through. My sister is still in an abusive relationship with a violent bi-polar, drug addict/drinker. She has also been beaten and lost a baby and now has two more kids by the same man after splitting during each pregnancy. She hasn't herself turned bi-polar but she does suffer from depression and mood swings and a sense of no self worth due to the trauma she has faced while with this man. I have a friend also who is married to a bi-polar man who yells and screams then apologizes later and it is a viscious cycle for her as well. She now has bad insomnia and is displaying symptoms of bi-polar. My younger sister too, had a traumatic experience as a young child and and was subjected to a verbally abusive relationship (well we all were, the 3 of us sisters) as a young teen. She has herself been in a couple bad relationships too now, and also displays symptoms of a serious bi-polar condition. I was the least affected of us sisters and I have been pretty stable through the years following my childhood, but then I also got into a bad relationship at 16 and left after becoming pregnant. I then married a man thats been controlling and that was because I let him. I left him once over him having an emotional affair of sorts, and during the divorce he almost convinced me to give our children to his parents because of how young I was at the time, I was away from them for a week and almost suffered a mental breakdown before seeking help from an older friend, and well I'm still married now, and things are much different because i learned to stand up for myself, but still the damage is done, I wasn't 100% stable emotionally before, and now I too wonder if I am bi-polar or have PTSD.... All this being said, I think that what your going through is a common occurance among women in abusive relationships of all kinds. I'm not sure exactly what it is, bi-polar, post traumatic stress disorder, situational depression with mood swings, but it all seems to be triggered by emotional trauma. Either way, your not alone, there are many women who can relate to your story and we all have to find a healthy way to cope and to fix these issues/disorders we now face. I hope you find comfort in knowing others can relate and I hope that you find a way to overcome all of this or at least be able to deal with it and have a good life despite it all. Take care.
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