I love my girlfriend, we been together for 8 months. It was difficult from the beginning. She is bipolar II, and also she is an addict.
When we met she had 2 months sober, then she relapsed because her meds stop working.
She was still in love with her ex and felt like she was ‘cheating’ with me because she was emotionally loyal to her.
When we met she used to not pick up my calls. When she relapsed she didn’t pick up the phone for a week.
This is the first time I am in love with a woman, also the first time that I am dating someone who is bipolar.
Since I met her I feel like I have lost myself. I have become insecure, and jealous.
Now we live together, and it’s a little bit better. She says that she is over her ex, that falling in love with me made her realize that she was never in love with her ex. (I fear that one day she will realize she was never in love with me)
She was taking effexor and that was affecting her sex drive. Now it’s been more than 2 months since she has been off effexor but her sex drive has not come back. I have a high sex drive and I want it everyday and she doesn’t witch makes me feel rejected.
I am OCD and control freak, and since I fallen in love with her I have lost control of myself.
When we are OK it’s amazing, we have the same interest, we laugh a lot. But she is really irresponsible, she has serious issues with saying NO, and she was self esteem problems. All of it seems to be part of her bipolar disorder, reason why I told myself to be patience with her, but lately I am very depress and angry, I feel I am loosing my patience, I feel that I need to be the rock for both of us. I feel that I cannot allow myself to be sad because she gets sad and falls into a mind space. I feel like a baby sitter sometimes, I feel like the caretaker. She says I make her more stable, but I think she makes me unstable. I am running out of battery

I don’t know what to do, I am really in love with her, I want to be happy again.