Bipolar Disorder Forum - Biopolar and guilt

I have been recently diagnosed with Biopolar 2 and I am 59. I must have had this for a long time because looking back I did alot of things that were compulsive like spending fileing for bankruptsy twice and then this past January 2008 went on a shopping spree and only then realized that I needed professional help. I was so compulsive or something that my wife gave one of her friends a copy of season one of ER to watch I thought that maybe I might not get it back so I bought another one. At my place of employment I never had a backup so I could never take any long stretches of time off I had 7 weeks accrued and was 10 hours away from the maxium. The area i worked in was two levels below ground level and no windows they would not even fix the airconditioning system. Well on d put mefeb 13 I went out on the Family leave and went thru one phystrist who did nothing but up my lexapro dose and spent a total of 15 minutes with me I asked him the next time if i should also be seeing a therapist he said some people do. Well I found my own and she asked me how long did your phyatrist spend with you I said 15 minutes. she said you need a new phyatrist so she recommended one when i went to see him he spent over an hour with me and said I had Bipolar 2 and gave me a mood stablizer and some depression meds and anxiety meds and put me on disability until at least Oct. I really do not want to go back to work again just take care of myself hopefully stay on ca disability for the full year and get my social security at age 62 this is my story I still have good and bad days and cry sometimes and feel guilty at times