Bi-polar without mania episodes ??

i am female and 30 years old.Had two major deppressions 10 years ago. Frst i was diagnosed with major depression and was on zoloft for 6 months, (i had a terrible ocd (was obsessed that i had a deadly illness) 4 years after when 24 my ocd and depression kicked back terribly and this time doc gave me lexapro. used it for 3 good years and while i was on it the depression came back horribly.. The doctors told me that this repetative depressions were happEning because i have bi-polar and i was given lithium this time. I never ever had a manic or hipomanic episode in my life but i had horrible anxiety attacks that may last 2-3 day maximum..no good feelings just plain horror. and i told this to the docs. But they insisted. used lithium for a year and nothing happened. was on lithium when my worst anxiety attack hit me... For the last two years i am using nothing.. feel anxious and deppressed usually in the mornings or evening times..And have ocd( thoughts i can not stop thinking and bothering me, jealousy etc..)I NEED HELP OCD S KILLNG ME, ANXIETY IS HORRIBLE AND I DONT THINK I HAVE BIPOLAR BUT THAN WHY DID I GET DEPRESSION EVEN IF I AM ON A STRICT SSRI DIET??