Bipolar Disorder Forum - Bi-Polar refusing to get help

Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum > Bi-Polar refusing to get help

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Q: Bi-Polar refusing to get help

asked by: helpmybro on September 16th, 2009

New User

A little bit of background.. My great grandpa and grandpa were both hospitalized for Bipolar Disorder, I know my Dad has it but after refusal to get help my mom, sister and I left him. Now I'm facing the same problem with my brother. He also has Bipolar disorder and will not get treatment. About 6 years ago I was also diagnosed with Bipolar but after medications and counseling my life is great with little to no signs of the disorder. I've tried showing my brother what good getting help can do. I don't think I would be alive today without all the help I received. But he won't do it. Recently he was suspended from work due to conflicts with his girlfriend who also works there. I know talking to him doesn't give all the correct facts though so I don't know the whole truth. He is constantly lying and blaming everyone else for his problems. Its really hard on my family because he now lives 500 miles away. My mom is currently heading to see him to try and talk him into getting help. She has tried this before and it has never worked. I think it's time to have him committed but she just won't do it. He is constantly talking about killing himself and has a very bad habit of pot use. If anyone has any advice of what to you for him please let me know! I can't lose my brother...

Replies(8)

MyBipolarEx

replied on September 23rd, 2009

New User

I am also interested in methods for trying to convince someone to get help.

katie33kate

replied on September 26th, 2009

New User

I tried and tried... never was able to get him to consider meds.

I think they have to hit bottom. Left by all their friends and family. just like an addict... can't go up till they are totally on the bottom and cannot deny that the problem is them and not the whole rest of the world.

sorry.. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear.

I tried and tried to help, to make it better....it was costing me my own mental health. I don't think you can talk someone "into" making the right choice when they are NOT in a rational mind.

concerned2009

replied on September 26th, 2009

New User

I know someone who says they are 'fine' now after hiting a massive low eposode earlier in the year and are too busy to see a councilor or take meds - are they just fooling themeselves thiking they are ok? Theyve told me not to worry about them but its inbuilt in me to care.

confusedcris

replied on October 31st, 2009

New User

It is so frustrating. My husband is bipolar. Life has been a constant roller coaster. He doesn't believe he needs help. He thinks he is fine, but blames everyone else for his problems. It is always someone else's fault, usually mine. He has been more and more secretive lately and begun staying out all hours, refusing to say where he is going. I don't know what to do. I am lost and at wits-end. Any advice???

pdemo1

replied on October 31st, 2009

New User

Hi confused,
My husband is bipolar too. Won't go into the history as yours is probably about the same. Right now his life is working all the time, sleeping on the couch and talking to his "friend" who happens to be an old girlfriend many, many, hours. We have been married 20 years and adopted two children, who are now 9 and 6, in our later years. I think that is when it all began. Anyway, I have tried to "help" him in the past with a restraining order and hoping that would get him at the bottom enough to get help but no, that was my fault and he had done nothing wrong. Since I found out about the phone calls, there has been no communication at all. He thinks that is just fine as he is just talking on the phone even though it is an old, old, I mean teenage year old, girlfriend for hours. I think the above is right. The only way to get help is to go very, very low. Sure is good to talk to other wives. It helps tremendously knowing that we aren't the only ones.

confusedcris

replied on October 31st, 2009

New User

Concerned 2009-
My husband, too, has said he will be'fine' after hitting several massive low episodes. He also says he is too busy to see a doctor or doesn't have money to get meds - He is always just fooling himself. I have insurance for both of us and I have offered to buy the medicine (go pick it up, etc.) They are all excuses. If this is someone you care about, be concerned regardless what they say.

literarypractice

replied on December 5th, 2009

Experienced User

It can be very difficult to convince someone to seek medical care. There's a lot of stigma with mental health issues. Pretty much everyone has tried the go-it-alone approach at some point. It's common for people with mental health conditions not to take medications or stop taking them at some point.

I feel empathy for you. Definitely, threats of suicide and drug use requires intervention. How do you intervene when the person doesn't want it? I wish you the best in this. It's extremely frustrating to attempt to convince a person who is lying to alter their course. I've tried before and my message wasn't listened to.

foxy123

replied on December 5th, 2009

New User

Snap

Have exactly the same problem and I'm afraid the advice I've had is the same as what's been written here is that you really can not make a person get on those meds. Its incredibly frustrating for the non BPs and the family, you think "dude/babe please everything would be so much better for you" ... but the illness persuades them they are fine and everyone else is to blame for all their problems.

They gotta hit that low and you have to wait for it and be there for it (if you haven't been driven to total distraction and left!) when it happens so you can offer support when they actually are actively getting help.

The whole thing sucks.

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