So a couple weeks ago it all started, my friend and me got real drunk and she totally came onto me. I remember I was extremely intoxicated, but I remember almost everything she was saying to me and what happened. So the situation escalated pretty fast, and by the time I knew it we were kissing. It got really intense, I was kissing her all over. She told me to put my hands in her pants and I did. She was all hot and bothered and really seemed to like that. We kept switching from being on top etc. So then we got silly and managed to make it on the floor. Mostly because we were both so drunk. So on the floor she was on me and we were kissing. She decided she wanted to take it a bit further. So she put her hand in my pants and was using it wisely. She kept saying all these things to me like "let's do it" and I was like "I dunno" and then she said "well why do you think I come here all the time" and I was, "oh well to see **** person" (male). She said "no, it's too see you". So even though I was drunk I sort of thought to myself, " :O what". Then she was like "come on we can do this whenever we want, it can be our little secret". I just kept making out with her, then she wanted to take it further and go down on me. But I didn't want to and pushed her away, telling her that I couldn't with anyone. In the end I had to explain to her that I had gotten HPV from my ex. So we ended up stopping and talked for the rest of the night, I was crying furiously about my HPV, and some other things. Now here is where I am confused, ever since this experience, if she even touches me like by an accident or anything. I get this jolt of something.
I wonder if that means she turns me on. Cause I never thought of her in that way. i think women are beautiful but I never find myself really thinking I want them in that way. But I mean when she goes into the shower, i get all hot an bothered and I can feel myself getting turned on, and then I have to do something about it right then. Also recently we had 2 more encounters. The first one involved 2 of my other friends(males) and her. We made out and all went into the shower, while her and I made out. We had been drinking again that night. Just the other night. I was sitting feet from her, and she told me she wanted to "get drunk together, because she was really needing some" and then we decided to go with it. I was not even as close drunk wise as the previous 2 times. I went down on her, and she rocketed to the top. I was not comfortable with her wanting to go down on me. She told me she had watched this video of girls "Going Down on each other" so she wanted to try it on me. I said I would think about it, in the end I declined. But I wonder, this most recent time and the one before I went down on her. The first time, I found it kinda gross, and actually vomited almost immediately after attempting, but I thought maybe It was the alcohol, it wasn't. The last get together we had, like 10 seconds after my mouth went down there. I had that gag reflex, but I just ignored it....
The next morning when I woke up, I felt kind of weird like....not sick, I was thinking in my head, what does all this mean, because we have been doing it more and more...I am so confused, does anyone have any ideas about what's going on?
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