bestfriend / girlfriend???

Hello.
I was once very close to a male friend of mine. We did everything together. Hung out all the time, texted all day long etc. It was only after I had started a romantic relationship with another man that I realized he had feelings for me. He ended up cutting off our friendship entirely.
Now, I'm not sure what I would have said or done if he had told me his feelings. However I do believe strongly that if we had spoken about it, our friendship may not have been lost.
I say tell her. It may be the best thing you have ever done.
Good luck with it all

This does not sound like a best friend. It sounds like a soul mate. I think Robin is right. Go ahead and tell her.

yea it does sound like a "soul mate". im just confused becase she said the best thing about me is that she can talk anything at all with me and still keep it friend level. does this mean she just wants to be friends. or is she not ready for something serious at the moment...? she happens to be the only person im comfortable n enjoy talking to. she called me and wished me during my last b'day and she even reminded other friends of mine abt my b'day. she checks up regularly when im sick or something. its just that no ones actually done anything like this for me so far. and i dont want to lose her by doing something stupid ...

One of the most important lessons I have learned in life is that HONESTY can never do you harm.
I really believe you should talk to her about your feelings.

yes i know that but If she gets upset (shes really sensitive) at me then ill lose the Only good friend ive had in 20 years! should i just give it more time?

I wld be a lil nervous too if i had to fess up my feelings for sumone, maybe test the water, ask around the topic and check if she has any romantic interests in anyone at the moment or ask sumthin to tht effect, where wld she like to be with u in a yr or down the road etc etc etc, will give u a gud idea whether u shd go ahead or not.
Gud luck

I wld be a lil nervous too if i had to fess up my feelings for sumone, maybe test the water, ask around the topic and check if she has any romantic interests in anyone at the moment or ask sumthin to tht effect, where wld she like to be with u in a yr or down the road etc etc etc, will give u a gud idea whether u shd go ahead or not.
Gud luck

I wld be a lil nervous too if i had to fess up my feelings for sumone, maybe test the water, ask around the topic and check if she has any romantic interests in anyone at the moment or ask sumthin to tht effect, where wld she like to be with u in a yr or down the road etc etc etc, will give u a gud idea whether u shd go ahead or not.
Gud luck

sorry didnt mean it to get posted soo many times, my screen froze

I think honesty is your best bet here. A true friendship will last through anything. A true friend you can piss off and have a disagreement with. You sound like true friends to me.

I have been w/my hubby for 2 1/2 yrs now. We were friends for 3 1/2 years before that. We met in high school and clicked, just like you two. There was always something different about him. We fought, we hung out. I was with other people and so was he. I was into drugs at the time and really wasnt ready to give myself to anyone. He knew this and never tried to push himself on me, but I always new that he felt more for me. I just couldnt give anything at the time. So we remained friends and wrote each other while he was in jail and while I was doing my thing. But through all this that connection we had stayed strong. It was a friendship stronger than anything I ever had. One day after we graduated and became responsible adults I kissed him. I was ready for him. It was like a light came on. And I realized everything I wanted in man was always in him. We have been together ever since and are having a baby soon.

I guess when I look back on it he always meant more to me than I let on, I didnt even admit to myself. Now he told me that if I had waited any longer he may not have been around. he loved me for 3 years from afar and he had given up on the hope of ever being with me. I always knew that he like me more than a friend, but I had no idea that he loved me. I think if he would have told me his true feelings it may have been different.

So tell her when you think the time is right. I knew when the time was right. Maybe you will too. But remember that love can be lost and you risk losing it if you dont grab onto it. She may feel the same and she may not. But you should tell her how you feel about her. Dont pressure her and dont try to make a move. Just be honest and let her figure out the rest. Like I said before a real friendship will make it through. It may be akward and reallu weird at first but if its meant to be it will be

Silent, I fully understand that you don’t want to loose your only good friend, but I was in a similar situation as Rosie. I met this wonderful man (my soul mate) and he just didn’t make any moves, so I married someone else. The marriage didn’t last and as soon as my divorce was finalized he didn’t let the grass grow under his feet. I wasn’t sure whether to bash in his skull or marry him on the spot. So many years was wasted because he couldn’t find the courage to ask me out.

So please don’t do this to yourself. Tell her that you love her. If you’re scared that you will loose her – send her some flowers with a card that thanks her for the fact that she has always been there for you and assure her that you will ALWAYS be there for her. Or throw in another hint and test the waters first. But try at least.

Good luck and keep us posted!

so did u know that this guy had feelings for u then???if u did how were u with him? did u act like u just wanted to be friends or did u give any hints that u might be interested too? look the thing that bothers me the most is that she said "the best thing abt u is that i can talk everything with u n still keep it friend level" so maybe she indirectly wanted me to knw that shes just interested in being friends?

Oh no. I didn’t give him any hints because I didn’t know that he liked me in that way. I treated him the same as I treated all my other male friends – that’s why he thought I wasn’t interested in something more. And I treated him the same way as all my other male friends because I didn’t want to scare him off. I loved spending time with him.

But you have to understand that girls have some ‘pride issues’ too. It is still the ‘unwritten rule’ that a guy should ask out a girl and not vice versa. So I basically just wanted to save face.

Maybe you should just hint in the direction - you know, test the water?

u could tell her that u like her and if she doesnt feel the same, she could always pretend she didnt hear it and life resume as normal.