Abortion Debate Forum - best option ?

Debate Forums > Abortion Debate Forum > best option ?

Q: best option ?

asked by: Jusspacin on July 19th, 2008

New User

you all and i hope this is the right forum to ask this...

i might be to late posting this but if by any chance someone is up please help me ...

i am scheduled to terminate my pregnancy tomorrow morning at 9 am i have ITP (low platelets) and nearly lost my life having my 2nd son and was told no more babies it was too dangerous. well although i was to start my new pills when i got my period (in the meantime we used the pull out method which seem to always work well also) i am pregnant apx 5 weeks 5 days per u/s, i am so upset and devistated over this i just do not know how to handle it all, i have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old little boys been married 20 yrs (infertil 16 of those years) 2 miscarriages and now i feel crushed to have to make a decision i thought i would never have to make. i dont even know if i will go through with it still im soo upset and lost .. i dont really have a label per say, i mean this is how i feel and its not against anyone personal but just my feelings. I myself do not believe in abortion unless there are circumstances that warrant it (rape, insest, health of child or and mother, age) in other words i beleive a woman should have a choice and i wont judge her for it but i do not beleive abortion should be used as a form of birth control again i still wouldnt judge because its just not me to do so...

i have to make a decision thats going to change my life forever, to terminate or not terminate on the bases of my health condition. so here are my quesions for anyone who wants to answer ..

what would you do in my situation?

i lean towards the termination because i have two little boys that need me that are here that are living that are my life my heart my everything, i want to be here for them for as long as i can be and this pregnancy could prevent that from happening

on the other hand, what about the little one inside of me? i feel obligated as a mother to carry out the pregnancy and give it life. in other words i couldnt imagine doing this with my other boys so its hard to imagine doing this with this one, does it makes sense?

i am torn up inside i feel i am damed if i do and damed if dont i feel that if i do not terminate now this early on i will not do it later for my reasons it does make a difference but still so very painful to even have to make this choice.

is there anyone else that has been in my situation? what did you do? how do you decide what the best option is? whats an abortion like at this stage in pregnancy and will my baby suffer at all?

sorry so long im scared and probably will be up all nite long

Replies(14)

aochriss

replied on July 19th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Jusspacin,

I am going to be very blunt here, so don't read any further if you think you may get offended.

For me, this is not even a close call. There is only one right thing for you to do, and that is to terminate this life threatening pregnancy. At 5 weeks pregnant, there is NO BABY in you. The babies are your actual born sons "I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old little boys". They will suffer immensely without you.

This is what is inside of you right now. Make sure you look to the upper left hand side where it says "actual size". You'll notice that you cannot even see it.

http://www.visembryo.com/baby/10.html

At 5 weeks pregnant the embryo is 3 weeks old. That is because as you know, doctors count pregnancy from your last menstrual period, and the first 2 weeks of a pregnancy, you aren't even pregnant.

This microscopic ball of cells cannot feel anything, and cannot suffer.

There is no difference to it between it never being conceived in the first place, and being lost through termination. In either case it wouldn't exist.

Every sexually active women loses up to 9 fertilized eggs and embryos for each successful birth. Most of these losses go completely unnoticed by the woman because they occur before the woman misses her period. Do we mourn these losses? No. Now that you know how many embryos die just from having sex, would this knowledge keep you from ever having sex again? Probably not. It is the normal process of nature to weed out these embryos, for all sorts of reasons. Something could have been wrong with them, something was wrong with the woman's health, etc. Why is it any different when your body terminates these embryos, than when your brain terminates them? Your brain is telling you that you may die if you continue this pregnancy, so it wants you to terminate, just like your body has done countless times before.

I wish you all the best whichever choice you make.

Users who thank aochriss for this post: Moo

oopoopoop

replied on July 19th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

You have two sons. Do you want to see them grow up? Do you want them to have a mother?

Balance the answer to those two questions against how you feel about having something inside that has no thoughts, no feelings, and could kill you.

Birch

replied on July 19th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Im new here and have some questions for

Jusspacin wrote:

I am so sorry you have to go through this. What did you decide to do this morning?

I wish you didn't have to feel such immense guilt from the desire to save your life. Crying or Very sad

Users who thank Birch for this post: Moo

nightangel73

replied on July 19th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

aochriss wrote:

Every sexually active women loses up to 9 fertilized eggs and embryos for each successful birth.

This is not true. I got pregnant inmediatly after stopping birth control pill.

A fertilized egg does not make a woman pregnant until it successfully implants in the utero and begins to grow. So don't compare a non viable fertilized egg with successful embryo growing in utero.

nightangel73

replied on July 19th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Jusspacin,

When it comes to abortion nobody can tell you what to do. People here have different opinions according to their moral values. This decision is only yours to make. You know what is an abortion and you know what it does so you decide if this is something you can live with. I for example I'm christian so if you ask me I will tell you that if I were you I would have discussed with a doctor whether you can physically continue with this pregnancy or not and decide from that point. If the risk of death is high I would think the doctor will advise you to certainly schedule the abortion. Did the doctor recomended abortion? I wonder if another pregnancy was so dangerous for you why didn't you choose to have a permanent procedure to avoid pregnancy like tubal ligation or vasectomy when you had your second child.

Whatever the decision you make not do it because somebody in the internet told you to do so. Nobody is to be blamed for your decision. Abortion is a personal decision and many who suffer from post-abortion depression/guilt issues have so because they made decisions based on outside influences and not what they really feel inside it is what they wanted to do.

aochriss

replied on July 20th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

nightangel73 wrote:

aochriss wrote:

Every sexually active women loses up to 9 fertilized eggs and embryos for each successful birth.

This is not true. I got pregnant inmediatly after stopping birth control pill.

Notice it said "up to"? And you don't know if you had any unimplanted fertilized eggs while you were on the pill or not.

Quote:

A fertilized egg does not make a woman pregnant until it successfully implants in the utero and begins to grow.

Tell that to many of your pro-life cohorts who believe the morning after pill and the birth control pill cause abortions.

Jusspacin

replied on July 21st, 2008

New User

thanks for your replies..

I did go with the procedure since it was medically necessary. I wasn't looking for someone to tell me what to do i was looking for others in my situation what they ended up doing and their outcome from their decision, i knew what i needed to do i guess i just needed re-assurence that what ever decision i did make, was logical and the right one. I didn't have my tubes tied because the hospital that i had my son at didn't allow that they are a catholic hospital and after that i was to weak and then we lost our insurance thus the reason we were using other methods of birth control. i know the decision was ultimately mine and i own it, but knowing others who have gone through it helps to talk to them especially now after the fact, and even though some say at 5 1/2 weeks its nothing, to me it was something, it was something that would begin to be somebody, but in order to put my children i do have here with me first and to save my life i had to make the decision to terminate my pregnancy it was not an easy decision and one i will forever dread having to make but i am now at peace with it and do thank you all for your advice, replies, comments and such...hopefully i can join in and maybe help someone else down the road with some support...thanks again

Users who thank Jusspacin for this post: oopoopoop aochriss Birch

msrosie

replied on July 21st, 2008

Experienced User

Jusspacin, I have a few health issues that each alone makes pregnancy very dangerous for me, and I absolutely would abort if I got pregnant. Granted, I would abort anyway, but if it were just a matter of the health issues and nothing else, I'd abort. My life is way more important than that of an embryo.

While I would never have told you to abort or birth, I think you made the right decision. Your children need you, it would not be fair to them for you to die because you didn't abort (and if you died during pregnancy, chances are your fetus/embryo would die, too). I'm glad you are at peace with your decision and I wish you nothing but the best for the future.

I'm sorry to hear you couldn't get your tubes tied when you wanted to, especially with another pregnancy being such a risk to your life. I don't understand this attitude of Catholics - it's one thing to be against sterilization for women who are not at increased risk from pregnancy, but to refuse to do it on women who could die from a/another pregnancy is irresponsible, IMO.

Birch

replied on July 21st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

It is utterly absurd the disregard for your life, intelligence, and value shown by the Catholic hospital. That cult needs to go.

aochriss

replied on July 26th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Jusspacin should send a letter to the individuals involved in the decision not to allow her to have the tubal. In it she should tell them that the abortion she was forced into because of health complications is on THEIR heads.

ikswoktur

replied on April 5th, 2009

New User

abortion

if you are pro-life and believe that in the case of rape an abortion is acceptable then you are a hypocrite. your concern is the right of the baby, should not a baby created from a rape have the same rights as any other? i am pro-choice, but this is something that does not compute for any pro-lifer.

Phenicks

replied on April 5th, 2009

Experienced User

I know I'm late but..

I was told NOT to go through with having my child, how it would be high-risk how I might die, how he would run out of room and my uterus might rupture or he'd die or his development stunted. My son was born 8 pounds 21 inches long I'm not only healthy but have been able to breastfeed and return to work. EACH woman is different, your chances are different. My son is my firstborn if he weren't my decision may have been different. As a mother I truly understand how difficult this decision was for you as I was faced with making a choice in similar circumstances. I did what was best for me and obviously my baby and you did what was best for you and your family. Do NOT feel guilty about it though I could understand if its hard not to.

ikswoktur

replied on April 7th, 2009

New User

loss of up to 9 eggs/embryos

every sexually active woman loses up to 9 fertilized eggs and embryos for every successful birth.... the losses can occur after the successful birth or you could lose 18 then have two successful births... this is a statistic an average not an exact pattern!!!

ikswoktur

replied on April 7th, 2009

New User

birthcontrol

if bc is against your beliefs, then that would also include the rythm method (you are trying to control the chances of a pregnancy) even abstinence is a form of birth control. pulling out is a bad option, there is enough sperm expelled in the beginning of sex for lubrication to fertilize many eggs. be careful!

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