I am lost. I do not know how to react anymore. I cannot be clear with anyone. I’ve created restrictions with all the friends I have. I am 22 year old male. I had this un-ordinary relationship with my best friend. We know everything about each other. I am him, and he is me. Everything seemed well until I left my home country to work in another country. He is gay. I am not precisely gay, bisexual most probably. I love girls. I enjoy girls. I do not get turned on by boys, nor do I have attraction towards them except him. But thats another issue.

I miss him a lot. And he misses me too but rationally thinking he got used to the idea of me being away and got over it and now he has a happy life with his boyfriend... I am jealous. What he is doing is right but I cant get used to the idea of not having him in my life anymore. I am always sad. I think about him all the time. I have to get over it and continue my life. But the thought of loosing the only person that I act 100% myself with, scares me a lot. The worst thing that can happen to anyone is loneliness. And now I'm Lonely. What can I do to take him out of my head? How can this end up? Will it be possible to still have him in my life as a regular friend? I usually am a very numb stone-hearted person but he made become so emotional

We used to be in opposite positions until he managed to 'model' me into his own desired shape. He enjoyed it until I left and got over it.

Please can anyone talk to me? I am in desperate need to communicate to someone.
I have talked about this to him but he was reasonable enough to say 'what can we do other than getting used to it'.

Anyone? Anything?