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being a misanthrope

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i'm a 19 year old college student and have been on prozac for six years since being diagnosed with major depression. every aspect of my life is wonderful - my family, my grades, etc... except for one: social life. i have a few good friends but i generally have a disdain of the typical person. i find people selfish, cruel, and uncaring. because people make up our lives, i feel it is a reflection on life as well. if i put faith in others and try to find good people, i am almost always disappointed, but if i close myself to others to prevent that, i come off as anti-social and miserable in general. i dont like the typical college lifestyle of drinking until you barf on weekends, and it seems like if you don't, you're not "cool" or considered normal. so its either give up my values to fit in or be miserable with my morals intact.

most of my life has been spent in anticipation of brighter days, but im tired of living that way. i want to get out into the world and make it better for others and leave my mark on the world in a positive way. but i feel like others constantly bring me down and that i am in a lose-lose situation socially. anyone else feel this way?
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First Helper RubarbRobert
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replied October 13th, 2010
i'm also really intelligent, which throws people off. i dont care about stupid gossip or mtv or any of that crap, but no one wants to talk about ideas or philosophy or anything like that.
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replied October 13th, 2010
to put it another way:

i feel marginalized when i talk to people. im either too much of one thing or not enough of another, like i cant win. so i stopped caring and have generally have a "i dont give a crap" attitude when it comes to things other than what i value: intelligence, genuity, unselfishness, sincerity, and generosity.

am i just insane? i dont know what to do because i dont want to be or agree with how most people around me live. i dont care if people arent einstin, but i always get my hopes up and im 99% of the time disappointed with others.

ive tried to believe there is good in everyone instead i face narcissism and selfishness despite my efforts. ive tried everything. i cant rely on anyone but myself, and that just makes me sad.

im more than open to suggestions.
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replied November 20th, 2011
I know how you feel
Hello, i am just finding your post. I usually feel exactly the same as you do, my family and friends consider me a complete misanthrope and lately i consider myself to be a misanthrope as well. Don't feel bad because of this because as you can see, you are not the only person who feels this way. I have struggled and still struggle with a worsening depression since i was about 13 yrs. old. I don't feel happy around most people and i actually get irritated being around the average person. I get irritated if they don't talk and when they talk too much so i consistantly close myself off from others and take pleasure in music and writing. Those are personal things that make me happy and keep my depression at bay. I know how you feel and you're definately not alone.
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replied October 30th, 2010
Sucks nobody has an answer for this huh...I think you have simply hit on the fundamental problem of life that I'm not sure your average dummy thinks about too much...and one that pretty much has to be chalked up to 'human nature'. Smart/deep thinking people in this world definitely suffer more. But you're way ahead of where I was at your age...only in my late 30's have I really started realizing just how senseless life really is. Back then I was fine with getting drunk. And I had to quit meds to see it for what it is...now I am skeptical of Everything. Sounds fun, don't it? I can guarantee you feel way better than I do right now in my situation. Just wait til you're My age and see how hard it is to make new friends...sorry not to bum you out further but I wish someone had warned Me back then. Maybe then I could have diversified myself better. Whatever that means. But if it makes you feel any better, don't know how spiritual you are, but I think we all basically want the same thing which is Love...however you define that. So just remember that before you get Too divisive in a 'me vs. everybody' else type of thinking. We're all just trying to fill the same inner void. -Peace
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replied October 31st, 2010
You brightened my life :)
I really think that you're an AMAZING human being, really. I feel the exact same way as you do. I have such a disdain for humanity, and I think that's because I'm ultra-perceptive on natural human psychology and peoples' motives. And yes, we are a very intelligent breed of people Smile.

Love you, stay strong, and don't give up hope (in yourself above all).

~Paul
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replied May 7th, 2011
For starters, sorry about bumping the thread; but I feel like this is a serious topic that needs more widespread attention and discussion all together.

Howdy, the name is Robert. I'm currently 19. I've suffered from depression for many years. Struggles and disappointments all through life that a good portion of the world hasn't experienced and probably never will. Call it ignorance on my part maybe? But have you felt the inner problems I speak of? Inner demons. My inner wars are horrible. While I sit and think deeply, contently and with hatred about myself on the inside and the world around me... everyone else around me it seems just do their own thing. Which is, like you said: partying, drinking, etc. The whole works of our generation and society in general nowadays. But, like with every generation there's pros and cons.

My relationships with people have usually been bad for me. I seem to draw the bad seeds. I'm to both extremes of love and hate. My misanthropy is for society, societies image. How society lives and treats others. How most refuse to see the world for what it really is. After all, what really is reality? Maybe what we're living in is it, maybe it isn't. We never really fully know anything, but we think we do?! I'm agnostic because of which. And when it comes to the small handful of close personal people in my life, I hold near and dear to my heart.

I've been called an old soul many times. Wise beyond my years. I choose to dismiss it for the most part. Because as far as I'm concerned, we're all very ignorant. Who knows in what ways, then again, maybe we are as smart as we think we are. The question I guess would be, who knows? Simple question huh? Maybe that's just it, something so simple to answer right under our noses.It is a nice thought though, being an old soul, because I can't wait to leave. I feel old, my body is always tired and the times I do have bursts of energy and the motivation to act on it is when my hypomania kicks in. I also have soft bi-polar disorder. Because of my self-hatred I don't do well with compliments.

"i want to get out into the world and make it better for others and leave my mark on the world in a positive way." Ditto my friend(s). I know my mission here, I'm just not sure what field in particular. Entertainment business for sure. Such a variety, but I have my mind set on professional wrestling. Though, my major anxiety and panic attacks hold me back in life. I recently quit my first job and that was a big enough struggle as it was getting to that point. I'm stuck basically; so I feel. Pro wrestling has such a bad mainstream rep... I would love to be a leader in making that image better (and that would be a 'hopefully'). Because just like with life, there's good and bad people. The bad is thrown to much in the entertainment business. But as they say, the negatives of the world are always easier to find than the positives. Maybe so... but have you thought that maybe they're easier to find because the negative has always been the 'leader'. Good vs Evil. Yin and Yang. Makes the world go round. Good is rarely talked about it seems. Evil is always mentioned. Either way, what an interesting world we live in huh?

Us misanthropes, or most I'm sure... aren't as negative as we seem. Always exceptions of course. Just as the 'normal' folk aren't as positive and happy as they seem. Fronting/faking... it's all human nature.


Anyway, I better stop myself before I really get going. If anyone reading this is looking for a compelling conversation about anything, here's my Facebook link, it goes in depth about myself and how I think and feel; but I'm an endless pit. There's ALWAYS something to talk about
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replied April 25th, 2012
misanthrope. is it a disorder:
Helo, i am too misanthrope,as i think.
I hate most people who shows their cleverness.
But i am little bit smarter in body view, Are it same with you also.? I mostly want to spend time lonely rather to waste time in demon type gossip people do now a days.
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replied October 21st, 2012
I would love to talk about this type of stuff with you in further detail, Robert. Unfortunately, your Facebook link didn't show up for me; what is your name so I can look you up?
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replied June 10th, 2011
I thought I was alone in this but it seems like that isnt the case anymore.

I am 19 currently in college and have been on Prozac since I was 9 and Concerta since last summer. I have always had a negative view on the human race and towards myself. People never challenge the kind of mind I have and have recently come to terms with being a misanthrope. I have friends, but I don't trust many of them.

I've come to feel that no matter how many friends I have they'll all leave like the others in the past. I can't find love because I feel I'm a freak and there's something always wrong with me. I distrust all that people say or do. i never trust " i promise" because I know they lie. It's a sad life for me and I feel no one understands any part of my life.

At college, I either cry myself to sleep or sit in corners while everyone has their fun. Recently I find it hard to trust anyone. Im really not proud of being human because they're all selfish, hypocrites, and liars. I have to associate being one of them no matter what.

For someone like me, is there any advice on life that I can take? What can I do to make my life not a complete disaster. Is there a future for a misanthrope in society?
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replied June 10th, 2011
@Kguard010

When it comes to life, you're never alone. Someone out there is always experiencing what you are, good or bad. It's funny how at times we think we're alone during our crisis. But as we all know deep down, it just isn't so. Sure, we might be the only one in our area suffering from a particular situation, but someone right down the road could have gone through the same thing yesterday, last month or last year. When depressed, sad, etc we choose to mainly focus our energies and mind on the downside. If we are mentally aware of what we are doing, we can fight it. I feel it's best to even things out mentally. We can't have the blinders on all the time, but we can't build our own reality 24/7 either. Try and keep it balanced. The yin and yang, black and white, good and evil, etc. You're neutral.

I've always said that the further we evolve and develop with technology, the worse we as society get intellectually. Now, I know I'm not a genius and I sure don't claim to be. With that said, I'm sure this post will have some errors. However, I can think for myself. You can think for yourself and so can lots of people in the world. We 'seem' to be in the minority though. The majority of people refuse to think for themselves, they would rather have people think for them. The thing is, people like us challenge ourselves everyday mentally. People can't challenge you mentally because they can't even challenge themselves internally. I've tried so long to find people I can have an interesting, in depth conversation with. Over the past several years I have, but those few are no longer around. I've always felt it's best to find people of the same mindset to have relationships with. More things in common, more to talk about, etc.

Society always says to stay away from negative people. The problem with that is the fact that people rarely take the time to test the waters first. My dad who I've tried my whole life to get along with is a negative person. You cannot change his mind, you can't teach him, he is stuck in his ways. Point being, people like him drain you. In this world you have three basic mindsets: Positive, Neutral, Negative. I've never believed you can only be positive or negative, because in actuality we all are positive and negative depending on the situation at hand. I try to be a realist and I do my best to keep my mind open at all times. Negative people shoot down things right off the bat, while sticking to their mindset only. Positive people stay in their own little world, afraid of the slightest negativity in their life; when once again, it's all about the yin and yang. You'll never learn anything if you keep in your own ways, whether it's positive or negative in societies eyes.

As for how many friends you have, when it comes to the world nowadays it's a popularity contest. I believe the 'popular' ones are either fake or have fake friends, or both but that's assumed. With that said, you can always count your true friends on your fingers. More than likely just one hand. When it boils down to it, we are facing our demons and 'society' isn't. Our inner wars are unique to ourselves because no one else has felt the same exact version. We all can hear and read about similar stories, to relate and understand one another, to feel for one another and reach out to try and help. But that's really all we can do. But compassion is all we ask for and it's sad that some can't even do that.

Since we are humans, yet we hate humans in our own ways; all we can do is make the best of it. Do your best to change your negatives into positives. Use your mind for the betterment of the world. Do what you can to get people to think and question everything around us. But most importantly, do things YOU are comfortable with. If you're passionate about certain views that are looked down upon, make that negative into a positive with a heel/evil/bad guy character. Whether it be in a book, a movie, TV show, or in my case, a professional wrestler. You're vocally expressing yourself. As long as in your mind you think it's a positive, then it is. It's all perspective. I'm very influenced by Scott "Raven" Levy. His character is 'negative' and so he is viewed as a heel in wrestling, but because of his words of wisdom I view his persona as positive. It's to bad that there isn't more characters of that depth in the entertainment field. Just like with society, what's considered the 'norm', just like most people around us we come across; they're very one dimensional. But, it's control by fear. Life is based on fear, so it seems.
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replied September 8th, 2011
"Since we are humans, yet we hate humans in our own ways; all we can do is make the best of it. Do your best to change your negatives into positives. Use your mind for the betterment of the world"

Why, if you know humans are what they are, would you insist on the betterment of the world? There isn't one reason I can think of that the continuance of humankind would be beneficial. Would we make our species more abundant? How is that helpful? Would we populate other worlds? Destroying it with our wars and filth? Would the few who claim to be lovers and compassionates outweigh the deaths and hate we spur on each other? No, I believe it best if we let this species fade out.
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replied September 8th, 2011
Because our universe is all about the yin and yang. There is good and bad people, with all different varieties throughout. There is no one answer that will better our world. To better our world would take time, tons of it, and tons of people stepping forward however little or lot... and take the steps to bring some sort of betterment to our world. We are the planet of children for a reason. Exactly: wars, hate, destruction, etc. Because we are so arrogant and ignorant as the human race, we haven't learned... but we can learn. Sure, over the years I've lost a lot of faith in mankind, but I will always have hope. I would say it's 50/50 with love and hate worldwide, again, with varieties in between. As you know, we all like to mainly harp on the bad. (the media, etc) It's human nature. The good stuff is there, you just have to see it... and/or look for it. I despise the image of society... and I'm paranoid with people in general... but I know there is good folks out there who will embrace me... and I will be comfortable with them. Our species, if destined to fade out, won't do so anytime soon. I don't believe we will though, life itself goes way beyond our current mental capacities. "Faith without hope ain't worth a damn!" as my great grandpa used to say. Hopefully someday we will add on to our mental building.
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replied September 8th, 2011
The only issue that I have with being a misanthrope is that no one is content to leave me be. They think I need to be loved or love someone, which is a societal norm. However, I see nothing fruitful being gained from friendships and I most certainly dislike hearing about someone's drama. I feel there is no need to contribute to a society in which the masses are content with oblivion.

It's frustrating to try to live my life in peace as people such as my family decide that I have a "mental issue." How can you tell someone, I'm not crazy, I just don't like you for the sheer fact that your voice is annoying, or that I don't want to hear about your life because you think I care. I want to not be bothered. You go play over there and I will sit right here.

I tried telling someone today that I didn't want to be friends with them. Then it's like they took that as me begging them to save me from some awful life I lead. Excuse me, I just don't prefer to have some worthless human leaning their head on my shoulder.

Talk about mental issues. Perhaps it's societies insecurities that cause them to be concerned for others. That they would be afraid if they didn't at least have some people they "saved" then no one would be there for them when they need saving.

I don't want your sympathy and I don't want to have to talk to you. You think it's rude when I ignore you, but I think it's rude when you start talking to me.
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replied September 8th, 2011
Well, my original post for this response was erased when I hit reply. I had to log in again and am now having to redo what I can remember. Ugh. (copying this time!!)

We are social creatures. Sure, we are near/at the bottom of the social spectrum, but it's a need. Society is all about quantity over quality. Wanting tons of contacts, money, material things for status symbols, etc. Would you be the type to want quality? If so, good for you.

We all have drama in our lives, can't be avoided. The extreme drama is excessive, but we all are excessive in others eyes, depending on the person.

Some are genuine, some play the part, some just don't care. You realize how little of an individual role we play in life. We are the planet of children. Our world is controlled by toddlers and infants, while the preteens think they know what's best. But, at the end of the day, who does know best? No telling. For the most part I just let the world live, but, speaking up is what we all want. We all want to be heard, but most would rather not hear others. When we speak up and be passionate, no matter what it's about... there's growth. However, yes, most won't listen and take you seriously... but that shouldn't stop you anyway, it should drive you that much more.
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replied May 12th, 2012
be not afraid
You need not be afraid of the suffering, and an eventual death, that is a natural part of life. We all need each other. We are wired to love and be loved. You were cared for by a number of people as an infant and child, and developed a sense of yourself through those care-givers. You can drop the "misanthrop" label and realize that distancing yourself from others may be a symptom of low self esteem, or perhaps chronic negativity. Yes there are many cruel realities, and humans are not as competent as they think they are. It is all just varying degrees of disraction from meaning.. but meaning is shared, as is identity. We can reach out and make a difference for others, combat the cruelty, and define ourselves with our actions and in more positive ways. You can move forward by focussing on positive thoughts and further goals that make a difference for others. Develop trust in the good intentions of others, and the good intentions of yourself. Live this life by interacting and engaging; be reflective and vulnerable.
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replied June 22nd, 2012
Human is a virus, breeding and multiplying until all resources have been consumed, and re-locating to repeat the cycle. This is the definition of a virus. I believe the few of us who realize the inner depth of the universe are cursed, from a past life. The general population is closed-minded and ignorant to the universe around them.

But for those of us who realize time flows as loops and cycles, rather than a linear fashion. Who realize the universe is created through geometric structures and design, vibrations direct your conscious awareness across the grid of reality to the corresponding frequencies of parallel worlds. All events, past, present and future are happening right now, repeating in cycles. Those of us who know space and matter gain more defined form as it moves down to lower vibrational planes of existence.

If humanity and the general population fail to realize these facts, I don't want to know about them. I want to wake up and just go to work, and have stupid fun on the weekends like the rest of civilization. When man can realize how the universe flows, and can lose their obsession over materialistic possessions, we can take further steps to producing technology that can tap into higher vibrational planes for energy - and travel through galaxies to inter-communicate with the other life out there.

I'm glad I found this, there are other people who feel what I feel.
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replied December 7th, 2012
Agree
Ok... I really felt like I was on a raft somewhere.... But you guy's are hitting the same points that have been plaguing my mind for quite some time. Should we all meet up for some drinks?
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replied December 23rd, 2012
Yep well, I have three words to tell you all that solves all worries.

People are stupid.

No I am not saying everyone but me is stupid, I am not saying most pople are stupid, I am saying that every man woman and child on this earth is a idiot, Just think about it.

These three words are the answer to every question, try it. also when you say, people can't be THAT stupid, you are wrong, they are.

honestly I don't like posting about this because people generaly don't understand how stupid every one really is.

working from my Misanthropy which I will not dive into, I have worked out that there are two reasons that people are stupid, first there is the stupid in us all, that can not be helped. Then there is a lack of information, and that is unnaceptable.

the best thing a single person can do for the world is to give information and explore, think about how it could be wrong, If you do that you are a true hero.

I know that this post dives off topic and all, but it makes me feel better, slightly.

P.S. I hate you all.
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replied February 22nd, 2013
I feel the same way bro! A lot of bad things has happened with me since childhood and I just searched what is wrong with me and I think I am suffering from same problem, is there any cure for this.







conclusion that I am a misanthrope, is there any cure of this problem.??
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