Nothing will remove stretchmarks, trust me so you have to just embrace this physiological change and live with it. OWN YOUR STRETCHMARKS, girl!
When I was young, my skin was like perfect, polished marble, no scars, no discoloration, just smooth and beautiful skin. After my first child, I got them on my belly, thighs, hips and bottom... boy was I depressed about that. I am a skin freak, i take care of my skin obsessively so you can imagine how I felt. I tried everything to get rid of them but nothing has helped so far. Laser is out of the question for me because I have a mocha toned skin, which may make them worse so I'm not willing to take that chance.
I can tell you that mine have become less noticeable with time and of course, when I am lean (when I gain weight, they seem worse) and toned.
Look, just wear clothes that hides the marks, during the summer, wear bathing suits or bikinis that cover them up and from now on, rub loads of Vitamin E on your skin, especially your boobies and buttocks.
That's the best advice I can give you honey. Just, OWN your marks... embrace them.