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Q: becoming more assertive
asked by: aweill2 on June 8th, 2008
New User
ill try to make this brief but understandable
i have anxiety issues and do see a therapist and pracitice cognitive therapy
my question is not really directed towards my condition but rather just a broader concept of human behavior and why we behave like we do
why is it when someone senses fear in a person there first instinct is to exploit that
i have lost jobs due to this and its very frustrating almost to the point where
i feel like not associaiting with no one at all but i need to make money
most people would look at me and say well he feels scared all the time because
he is guilty of something ive been accused of being a rapist,child molestor,ect
because i am a passive person but very kind,polite,and would help anyone that needed it
i know my strenghts but than why is it that someone like me who tries to do good is criticized
ive also been called gay all types of stuff but this person or persons passes judgment on someone they dont know
are there techniques any of u would suggest on how to become more assertive
i dont want to be scared of people its just that the way the world is today everyone is overly agressive and i dont know if i can or would i want to conform to this way of thinking to be labeled a normal person if there is any kind of definition of what normal is
but i dont want to become overly agresssive to the point where would cause conflict because my nature is peaceful
anyways thanks for the advice really appreciate it
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harmony1
replied on June 8th, 2008
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Firstly i can relate to what you say.
What i've been told and taught is to face your fears.
I know it's easier to run and hide but that won't solve the problem.
So my suggestion is do what i am trying to do and face up to it.
Take it slow. situation by situation and slowly your confidence will grow until the fear is gone and you'll probably wonder what on earth you were frightened of to begin with.

I'd love to hear other peoples responses to this one too...
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aweill2
replied on June 8th, 2008
New User
thanks for the reply
its just ive fealt this way now for so long i fear that it will
take such a long time to actuallya face the fear as i like to avoid the situation
all together but its inevitable that i have to deal with other people i do like people
but i also dislike them for the ways other people treat others
but thanks for the tips cuz u are right i eventually have to face the fear
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