Medical Questions > Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum

badly need marital advice- how much lying can I take?

I have been married for less than 2 years. This is the second marriage for both of us. Throughout our marriage I have found out numerous things that my husband had previously lied to me about (one being his infidelities with his previous relationship). A few months ago hetold me that he was contacted by an exgirlfriend from years ago and that he may have a 4th child who is 15 years old. When we first moved in together he lied to me about pictures he had of her and because he finally told me about his past being extremely sexually promiscuous without any protection I specifically asked if he could potentially have any more children and he told me no. After he finally told me about this I was really upset and felt blindsided and was speechless....he immediately came into our bathroom ad stated texting. He got in the shower and I came in the bathroom and saw a text message from thiswoman saying I was selfish and that I should be happy to welcome another member to my household. So Ilooked at his messages to see what he was saying to her. There were extremely inappropriate texts between the two of them and he was actually saying negative things about me and our marriage to her. I got very upset obviously. Then over the next few weeks I found out numerous times where he promised he wasn't talking to her when he was and they are texting on average of 120 times/day. She still has made no plans to actually get the DNA test done and he claims she dodges the subject every time he tries. Now he promised me that he would be open and honest about talking to her but I found out today that when he went to pick up his daughter from the airport 2 hours away that he went and saw her first. He has no reason to be seeing her. The daughter she claims is his doesn't even live with her or in the same state as her.I would have never known if I didn't decide to check the phone records. How am I supposed to stay in a marriage where I can't trust my husband. He always says that he doesn't know how to tell me.....that can't always be an excuse. Just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean you don't do it. I feel like that just shows he won't ever be honest with me. I've dealt with so much for him. He already has 3 children by 2 different women, I put him through school and paid his child support and all of his bills for 3 years making myself sick working 2 full time jobs as a nurse. I badly need some a ice here. Thanks Rolling Eyes
Did you find this post helpful?
|

User Profile
replied January 16th, 2012
Community Volunteer
Hello babycareapril,

He is texting her over a hundred times a day!!! I know this will be painful but you need to hear it. You made a mistake in marrying this guy. He has proven over and over that he can't be trusted. You deserve better. Your husband wants to have his cake and eat it to. Not only is he lying to you he has also jepordized your health by sleeping with several womens. Please get test for any and all diseases you can think of. He doesn't love you but only love what you are doing for him. He wants to be a swinger; you jump off and let him swing as much and as high as he wants. Love yourself enough to hurt in the short term but be free in the long term. This too will pass. Don't commit to another marriage until you have loved yourself back to a health state. YOU CAN DO IT!!

God Bless,

Faded Rose
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied January 16th, 2012
Community Volunteer
Hello babycareapril,

He is texting her over a hundred times a day!!! I know this will be painful but you need to hear it. You made a mistake in marrying this guy. He has proven over and over that he can't be trusted. You deserve better. Your husband wants to have his cake and eat it to. Not only is he lying to you he has also jepordized your health by sleeping with several womens. Please get test for any and all diseases you can think of. He doesn't love you but only love what you are doing for him. He wants to be a swinger; you jump off and let him swing as much and as high as he wants. Love yourself enough to hurt in the short term but be free in the long term. This too will pass. Don't commit to another marriage until you have loved yourself back to a health state. YOU CAN DO IT!!

God Bless,

Faded Rose
|
Did you find this post helpful?