Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum - bad feelings with online bf

worrywart01

replied on August 21st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

well..you have no proof of him cheating...he's given you no reason to believe he has right? i think its just some insecurity you have because of your past...an online relationship has to be hard to keep together as well since you aren't actually there to catch or confront them about it...go with your gut..do you want to stay in this relationship and be paranoid about it..or can you deal with breaking things off..if he says he isn't then..either you take his word for it or end it..becuase you have no proof of anything...why do you think he's cheating?

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StacyHoll

replied on August 21st, 2008

Experienced User

Have you met him?

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

worrywart01 wrote:

well..you have no proof of him cheating...he's given you no reason to believe he has right? i think its just some insecurity you have because of your past...an online relationship has to be hard to keep together as well since you aren't actually there to catch or confront them about it...go with your gut..do you want to stay in this relationship and be paranoid about it..or can you deal with breaking things off..if he says he isn't then..either you take his word for it or end it..becuase you have no proof of anything...why do you think he's cheating?

cuz i see him on a webcam tryin to type plus he has so many friends that are girls and he says he doesnt get along with guys ONLY GIRLS!!! ..plus he admitted before we meet he firted with every girl that tired to be friends with him so i get the feeling he is ... Embarassed

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

StacyHoll wrote:

Have you met him?

no he has socail fears so we are trying to work soemtihng out with him and his therapist to get him to come to the US from europe to see/meet me ...

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zigemyster

replied on August 21st, 2008

Supporter

Online bf / dating? I take it that you have not meet him face to face and if he sent you a picture it more than likely not him. If you have never met him face to face you truly have no clue as to who he / it is. Have you ever spoken with your bf?

Your 'online bf' could be a kid, young man, older man, pervert, criminal, married, murderer or an enemy of yours tricking you to think that he is what he is, etc.

There is this thing that we all are born with: fear. If you gut tells you something is not right, then go with you gut. Don't second guess yourself or it could be too late.

Get out and meet people...if need be get finger prints and run a background check or a medical evaluation and leave the online bf / dating alone. It can only bring you misery.

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StacyHoll

replied on August 21st, 2008

Experienced User

So, he has social fears? but flirted with every girl that tried to be friends with him.. in person or online? I would probably think this one over.. Wait for the right one to come along. I would listen to your mom.

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

zigemyster wrote:

Online bf / dating? I take it that you have not meet him face to face and if he sent you a picture it more than likely not him. If you have never met him face to face you truly have no clue as to who he / it is. Have you ever spoken with your bf?

Your 'online bf' could be a kid, young man, older man, pervert, criminal, married, murderer or an enemy of yours tricking you to think that he is what he is, etc.

There is this thing that we all are born with: fear. If you gut tells you something is not right, then go with you gut. Don't second guess yourself or it could be too late.

Get out and meet people...if need be get finger prints and run a background check or a medical evaluation and leave the online bf / dating alone. It can only bring you misery.

well i have seen him on a webam and talked on the phone (and saw pictures)and i will meet him in march we have it planned out already and my mom talked to him and thinks he is alright of a guy JUST CHEATING GUT FEELING SCARS ME

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

StacyHoll wrote:

So, he has social fears? but flirted with every girl that tried to be friends with him.. in person or online? I would probably think this one over.. Wait for the right one to come along. I would listen to your mom.

ya he has ONLINE! tho ....before we met too..

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worrywart01

replied on August 21st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

so you've seen him talking to someone else via webcam??? ...idk...i've never been in an online relationship..i have been in a long distance so i know how it is..its extremely hard to trust someone when you aren't there but thats what a relationship is built from..if there is no trust then theres no way you can carry on this relationship longterm bc you will worry yourself sick and it will just get old...i mean...if you're gut is telling you hes cheating then get rid of him..how long have you supposedly been dating?

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worrywart01

replied on August 21st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

cuteo_23 wrote:

worrywart01 wrote:

well..you have no proof of him cheating...he's given you no reason to believe he has right? i think its just some insecurity you have because of your past...an online relationship has to be hard to keep together as well since you aren't actually there to catch or confront them about it...go with your gut..do you want to stay in this relationship and be paranoid about it..or can you deal with breaking things off..if he says he isn't then..either you take his word for it or end it..becuase you have no proof of anything...why do you think he's cheating?

cuz i see him on a webcam tryin to type plus he has so many friends that are girls and he says he doesnt get along with guys ONLY GIRLS!!! ..plus he admitted before we meet he firted with every girl that tired to be friends with him so i get the feeling he is ... Embarassed

flirting and cheating are two completely different things...if he's harmlessly flirting with another girl..no big deal its sort of an ego boost you know? i mean you like it when another guy flirts with you and i'm sure you flirt back alittle..its harmless..just so long as both parties KNOW its just simple flirting you know? And it isn't to be taken seriously...i dont think i could ever be in an online relationship...i'm all about person to person contact..i like cuddling too much and i dont think i could ever trust someone enough to be in an online relationship, just bc theres sooo many weirdos out there plus if you cant be together i just dont see the point..but thats just me

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

worrywart01 wrote:

so you've seen him talking to someone else via webcam??? ...idk...i've never been in an online relationship..i have been in a long distance so i know how it is..its extremely hard to trust someone when you aren't there but thats what a relationship is built from..if there is no trust then theres no way you can carry on this relationship longterm bc you will worry yourself sick and it will just get old...i mean...if you're gut is telling you hes cheating then get rid of him..how long have you supposedly been dating?

maybe 5 or 6 mounths ..i dont want to get rid of him tho honestly Embarassed

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

worrywart01 wrote:

cuteo_23 wrote:

worrywart01 wrote:

well..you have no proof of him cheating...he's given you no reason to believe he has right? i think its just some insecurity you have because of your past...an online relationship has to be hard to keep together as well since you aren't actually there to catch or confront them about it...go with your gut..do you want to stay in this relationship and be paranoid about it..or can you deal with breaking things off..if he says he isn't then..either you take his word for it or end it..becuase you have no proof of anything...why do you think he's cheating?

cuz i see him on a webcam tryin to type plus he has so many friends that are girls and he says he doesnt get along with guys ONLY GIRLS!!! ..plus he admitted before we meet he firted with every girl that tired to be friends with him so i get the feeling he is ... Embarassed

flirting and cheating are two completely different things...if he's harmlessly flirting with another girl..no big deal its sort of an ego boost you know? i mean you like it when another guy flirts with you and i'm sure you flirt back alittle..its harmless..just so long as both parties KNOW its just simple flirting you know? And it isn't to be taken seriously...i dont think i could ever be in an online relationship...i'm all about person to person contact..i like cuddling too much and i dont think i could ever trust someone enough to be in an online relationship, just bc theres sooo many weirdos out there plus if you cant be together i just dont see the point..but thats just me

ya very true but we Are planning on it ..but ya you have a point ...about firting and cheating okey i understand better now mmm ...i think firting could be alright but CHEAATING isnt i am just nervus if he firts then the girl firts back then that goes on for a whiile then he doesn cheat then what do i do Shocked

break up is my awser i guess...even tho i wouldnt want too but i also dont want a cheating boyfriend

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worrywart01

replied on August 21st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

well...i mean i just dont see the point in being in a relationship period if you're going to cheat you know? i think if he wanted someone else he would be with someone else...why waste tiem having to answer to someone and make up lies about where you were and who you were with..thats why i just dont understand why people cheat...if you're not happy, you're not..theres no question about it...so break it off you know? and he hasn't broken things off with you...and until you have some sort of reason to believe he's cheating on you then accusing him of it will only make him angry bc of your lack of trust...you know? you dont seem to have any hardcore evidence of him cheating so i really think its just bc of the bad eggs you dated before that cheated on you and so now youre paranoid about getting your heart broken again..which is understandable but you have to understand that if you're going to be in a relationship...then there is no relationship without trust...so if you cant trust him then somethings wrong with the relationship and you just need to end things

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cuteo_23

replied on August 21st, 2008

New User

worrywart01 wrote:

well...i mean i just dont see the point in being in a relationship period if you're going to cheat you know? i think if he wanted someone else he would be with someone else...why waste tiem having to answer to someone and make up lies about where you were and who you were with..thats why i just dont understand why people cheat...if you're not happy, you're not..theres no question about it...so break it off you know? and he hasn't broken things off with you...and until you have some sort of reason to believe he's cheating on you then accusing him of it will only make him angry bc of your lack of trust...you know? you dont seem to have any hardcore evidence of him cheating so i really think its just bc of the bad eggs you dated before that cheated on you and so now youre paranoid about getting your heart broken again..which is understandable but you have to understand that if you're going to be in a relationship...then there is no relationship without trust...so if you cant trust him then somethings wrong with the relationship and you just need to end things

ya i see okey thank you the advive but okey i dunno if ill end it but ill see what happens

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NightStar

replied on August 22nd, 2008

Experienced User

I had a husband that would cheat on me on the internet when we where married, I made him stop, then again a few years later, a girl that was suppose to be my friend started having an affair with my husband over the internet. He finally left me for her, It was the worse day of my life. But I am remarried now and know my current husband won't cheat on me. He does talk to girls, but I am not upset unless I see the girl act wrong, then I will be all over her.

But knock on wood my husband won't cheat, I know that deep down.

Hopefully you can just move on and find someone you are comfortable with, that understands how not talking to other girls is right if he loves you and understands you.

Good luck with this matter.

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cuteo_23

replied on August 22nd, 2008

New User

NightStar wrote:

I had a husband that would cheat on me on the internet when we where married, I made him stop, then again a few years later, a girl that was suppose to be my friend started having an affair with my husband over the internet. He finally left me for her, It was the worse day of my life. But I am remarried now and know my current husband won't cheat on me. He does talk to girls, but I am not upset unless I see the girl act wrong, then I will be all over her.

But knock on wood my husband won't cheat, I know that deep down.

Hopefully you can just move on and find someone you are comfortable with, that understands how not talking to other girls is right if he loves you and understands you.

Good luck with this matter.

oh i am sorry to hear that..well i dunno i have the feeling but i dont wanna maybe have that feeling pointing to jsut him maybe it is just stress i think ....i dunnno what to think but i dont wanna break his heart tho Embarassed

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