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Bad Back Sex!

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Hey Ladies,

I thought I would post here because I think maybe you would know best. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3-4 years(yikes) we have one child she is 3 months old and wonderful. But our sex life isn't as wonderful. He has a dislocated disk in his spine which is pretty painful for him. This is where the issues start in our sex life. He can achieve all the main sex positions(missionary, Doggy style, side by side, girl on top) but once there is something different or odd for him it starts to hurt his back. I am getting very bored with all the same positions over and over again. I can also see he that he is getting bored he has said a few times he wished sex was better. So I was wondering if there are any tips you guys can give me to help us out. It is just really frustrating because I want to have good sex and I see things on porn that I want to try it but it hurts him. Such as sitting on a chair or couch and his tushhi is out a few inches off the couch and he has all control.

Hope anyone can help:)

Thanks:)
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First Helper User Profile SmilesandSunshine
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replied November 26th, 2008
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I'd suggest that if he's really serious about performance that he take some time to strengthen his abdominal muscles. The abdomen supports the back, and if he has a strong core he may be able to experience these positions without pain. If he's not willing to put in the effort, he will not reap the rewards. Wink
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replied November 26th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Have him go to the doc and get that dislocated disc fixed. It can cause serious pain and could compress the spinal column if not treated.
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replied November 26th, 2008
Experienced User
He has already been to the doctor about this, they cannot fix it. I am not 100% sure why because as usual I don't really listen at doctors appointments for him lol! I kind of zone out its my only time to be lazy:) But I do know that the disk is still in contact just not in its right place. It is also hard because sometimes it will pinch his nerve. I think this is where the main pain is coming from. It is worse in the morning he has trouble getting up at times.

He is a very active person he goes to the gym 4 times a week and we have already tried core training for him which is amazing for his abs, not so amazing with his back. It did get a little better because he could withstand the pain for a longer time before it really started to hurt him.

We have tried many things such as cold/hot pack on his back before and after, the core training, massage,we've been to the chiropractors... that's all I can think of now.

But we were really looking for positions that might help us. A technique that is different that won't hurt him.

All the info was amazing:) just I got to it before I got here lol!

Thank you guys anyway!Smile
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replied November 26th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
SmilesandSunshine wrote:
We have tried many things such as cold/hot pack on his back before and after, the core training, massage,we've been to the chiropractors... that's all I can think of now.


So are you just working the abs? If you're working your core muscles correctly then it would get the back muscles too. Does he do a lot of plank exercises?

I've been working on something about deep core muscles for some guys in the fitness forum, if I can ever get the time to finish it I'll post the link for it here.

How about yoga?
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replied November 26th, 2008
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He has a core trainer, they work all the muscles and work on his back. But this isn't something that a work out can fix. You can't strengthen a dislocated disk. Its just dislocated which causes the pain. Also it pinches the nerves at times which causes even more pain for him.

We have tried Yoga and that was the best yet lol! he was relaxed enough but once it wore off it started to hurt him again. We also tried mediation to make him relax. We went to a mediation class where they only focus on your core which is pretty good for him. He does this at least 5-6 times a week.

So we are off of working out and core training he is still doing it all and no results in him becoming in less pain. The man loves to work out though so he won't be stopping any time soon. Sometimes he comes with me to my Yoga classes with my girlfriends but lol (which is a great thing to see lol a room full of women and then him haha too funny).

I am hoping someone has info on positions or techniques(for sexual intercourse not for at the gym lol) to help us that would be great. Seeing as everything else has an effect that only last a few minutes to an hour.

I am crossing my fingers lol maybe I am just a big dreamer.

Thanks ladies for more info though its helping me cope with his issues lol! Im not going to stop trying until I find something that works haha!
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replied November 30th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Have you tried his standing at the foot of the bed with you down at the end as far as you can go without falling off...There he can take your legs and put them on his shoulders and stand erect...It is a very hot and sexual position....My husband had hip replacement surgery less than 5 months ago and we tried this 5 weeks after surgery...It was great...He too has a bad back...He found with his new hip movements that he could thrust and rotate himself much better putting less pressure on his back...With your legs being high in the air, you are able to move with him...Believe me you can find some wonderful vaginal orgasms doing this...

Hope this helps....
Caroline
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replied December 12th, 2008
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That sounds very very complicated Caroline!

still looking for more info! Anyone PLEASEE!

I will be meeting up with him next Wednesday I am done exams now and back at home with parents and he will be joining me once he is done.

Hopefully I will get more info maybe more idea:)

Keep them coming.

thanks:)
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replied December 12th, 2008
Community Volunteer
OK, the end of the bed is the easiest and most erotic sex there is...All he does is stand there in front of you...You go to the end of the bed as near to the end as you can and raise both of your legs high in the air...If you want to really turn him on separate them...That really gets things going....It is a perfect road to heaven without any strain on his back...He is simply standing there and doing you....If you need more lube he can reach down and put some on you...He can stimulate your clit at the same time or pull your nipples..It is hot...This way he can pull out and go back in and tease you...You are high enough that he can hit your g-spot and it is not tiring....

OK, here is another....Lay flat in the middle of the bed on your back....Raise your legs high in the air and point your toes...Separate your legs so that he can make entry....Then have him go across you from the bottom laying on his side...Entry is easy this way...This way he can play with you as he is inside you....Believe me it is good....The thrusting does not hurt his back because he is on his side and when you get tired you can lower your legs slightly but I like it up better...

After all this hard work thinking about this I think I will go to bed....I, too, have a bad disc....With my first child it paralyzed me as she put too much pressure on my back...They just about made me abort.....So I know the street where he lives....Now take care....

Caroline
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replied December 13th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
wow caroline I really like the second position...i am definately going to try that one out. thanks

my hubby has really bad knees so we usually have to change positions a lot. When they are really bad I usually do the work. I prefer for him to do me cause its more of a turn on. But you could do this. heres another position:

have him lay flat on his back with legs spread. Stand above him with your feet planted on either side of him. Slowly lower yourself onto him. He can guide himself into you or you can. Then you just move up and down. You can put your hands on his chest or on his sides for more support. He can also grab your hips and butt and move you up and down. Trust me once you both get into it it will be hot.
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replied February 17th, 2009
CarolineEF wrote:
Have you tried his standing at the foot of the bed with you down at the end as far as you can go without falling off...There he can take your legs and put them on his shoulders and stand erect...It is a very hot and sexual position....My husband had hip replacement surgery less than 5 months ago and we tried this 5 weeks after surgery...It was great...He too has a bad back...He found with his new hip movements that he could thrust and rotate himself much better putting less pressure on his back...With your legs being high in the air, you are able to move with him...Believe me you can find some wonderful vaginal orgasms doing this...

Hope this helps....
Caroline
Ms carolineEF i hope your husband is doing great.I also had a hip replacement 12-08 an was thinking about the hip movements thrusting n speed,i am 11 weeks post op most men dont talk about hip movements during sex thank u for your post.I hope u dont mind me asking how was the speed while thrusting thank you.
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replied October 15th, 2009
hi my boyfriend also has a bad back we are bother in our 20s so its a bit of a !**@! that we cant do everything. try dressing up in a sexy out fit tease him a little to spice things up and maybe get some toys i love playing and it really turns him on.

ask him to lye on his back and you sit with your back away from him and grind your hips and play with your clit we love it.. sex is great but when making love there are plenty of things to do other than sex. hope this helps

sarah
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replied December 13th, 2009
Sex and his back
We've read the entire thread and it seems all the ladies have given excellent advise. I can't think of another idea for you two to try. I'd really like to hear from your boyfriend. What is he actually saying about all this. He works out four times a week, has a core trainer, maybe its not him, maybe its you. Sorry to sound rude but this is a real legit concern here. Have you examined everything that you are bringing to the sexual table? He may just not want to hurt your feelings and keeps the blame on his back because he loves you so much. If I were you, I would make the best out of this and be thankful that you do have an active sex life and that he's willing to do it all while in pain. And hopefully in time things will get better. In the meantime get a second opinion on his back. And make a better effort to know exactly what his condition is. Pay attention at the doctors lady, this is slightly inconsiderate to him since you are the one seeking help on the matter. You need to know. I hope this helps. Cheers, Danny and Vika
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replied December 13th, 2009
Smiles,
here's a helpful link that we just found to help us with our back issue. I hope it helps to.
http://backandneck.about.com/od/sexuality/ tp/sextips.htm

Danny and Vika
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replied December 13th, 2009
Try this if you'd like!
Have you tried him sitting on a chair, and you giving him a lap dance? Both of you should be naked, and you can sit him in a low chair, (so that when slightly squating your vagina can come in contact with his penis). Rub his inner thighs, without coming into contact with his penis at first. Tease him a little! Do some dexy stuff, make out, sucking each other all over. It's pretty hot. He doesn't really have to put much strain on his back because he's sitting the whole time! You can also try this on a couch, you know, more comfort (and bounce!) Hope this helps! (:
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replied December 13th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Develop a back-brace fetish. I joke but with some seriousness. The sex you want is putting strain on his back. Being able to tollerate the pain is really not acceptable. His doctor would throw a fit if he read any of this stuff. If you keep letting his ego put strain a back injury you're going to be having sex in a wheel chair. Put his health above the need for more exciting sex. If you're bored try having him wear reinforced support for sex. It may not look sexy but it may allow him to more comfortably handle positions you want or improve his ability to have sex for longer durations without pain.
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replied July 28th, 2010
i have a really bad back and have been struggaling to find more interesting ways to have sex. my partner does not complain but often feels guilty after we have sex as he can see how much pain i am in. all of this has def given me some ideas on what else we could try. any more ideas would be welcome as i can tell you all know more about this than me Smile
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replied November 28th, 2010
Personally, I'm hoping since this is an old thread that that op's boyfriend has since dumped this selfish lil lady on her behind and has moved on to someone who cares more about him and his health than she does about getting her "rocks off". How horribly cold and uncaring you sound!
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