Single Parents Forum - babies dad on birth certificate

Parenting > Single Parents Forum > babies dad on birth certificate

Q: babies dad on birth certificate

asked by: StacyHoll on September 10th, 2008

Experienced User

OK Well, its offical. I hate my babies dad, and his parents. I am 39 wk. pregnant.

When he found out I was pregnant he actually tried to kill himself. - I found him. From there he stayed in the hospital then a mental health place. He struggled with addiction.

His mom was calling me through out my pregnancy treating me horrible. Telling me we should have used a condom, saying I runined her sons life. One time I asked him if he could move out his things and his mom called and said that he couldn't (he can't be accountable because he's sick How dare I ask)

I took over his lease. I have been paying for the rent for the place we live for the past year 1200 per month and I work my BUTT off. He told me to have an abortion and left me when I was 4 months pregnant. I haven't heard from him since June. He never contributed to anything for our baby.

Now, We used to have an apartment together and gave 30 days notice. A collections agency called his parents house, because I am now finding out that it should have been 60 days notice? Anyway his parents said hes not responsible for the debt, and to call me.

We were together for 4 years and he practically lived off of me. (I always thought there was hope) Now, I am alone I am being induced next week. Should I add his name to the birth certificate. Will that give him rights? Will I be able to collect from him if I don't add him?

I live in canada and need your help

Replies(5)

rooted

replied on September 12th, 2008

Supporter

As far as I can tell, the law differs according to province. But it's safe to say that if you want NOTHING to do with him, and want no rights to be assoicated with him or his family, leave him off the certificate.

What province do you live in?

Sedux

replied on September 18th, 2008

New User

Not sure how things work in Canada... but here's how it is in Illinois,

You won't be able to collect child support from him if you don't establish paternity through court. If they do establish paternity, and he is in fact the father of your child, his name will be added to the birth certificate. Since you are not married to him, his name being on the certificate does not entitle him to any rights. Technically, he doesn't even have any visitation rights until he puts in a court order for it and gets it established with a judge.

If you plan to nurse your baby, you have custody of your child by default until he/she is 2. At that time, your ex can file a motion for joint custody if he so desires.

Don't know if any of this applies or helps you but if you are planning to fight for custody, get a GOOD lawyer!

If his mom calls, ignore it! She has no right to mistreat you in anyway! That is not good for you or the baby!

Users who thank Sedux for this post: StacyHoll

StacyHoll

replied on September 26th, 2008

Experienced User

You know its been hell! I had her just the other day, and it was the happiest day of my life! Smile

I decided to call his parents to tell them shes here, and they decided that they didn't want to come see her, because they were afraid that I would make it so that she couldn't see them someday. (I tried) Now they have decided that they do want to see her (a week later) Its like they're trying to have all of the control. She's a beautiful baby. I just feel so stressed

richsinglemomma

replied on November 14th, 2008

New User

I am sorry you have been through so much. I chose not to put my son's father's name on the birth certificate. He left when I was 5 months pregnant. I live in GA so I wasn't required to put the name on the certificate.

The way I see it if he take no responsibility and chooses not to be in his child's life then his name does not go on the certificate. He gave up parental rights when he chose not to be responsible. I get no child support from him and he gets no visitation. I am free to make decisions that are best for my son.

As for his parents, please do not allow them to manipulate or control your life. You can change your number and move to another place. It is scary to start over sometimes but it's worth it for your peace of mind. Neither you nor your child deserves to be harrassed.

I hope all is well and that you make the choice to be empowered.

Samantha

Neisha

replied on October 2nd, 2009

New User

My mother warned me not to put my son's father on his birth certificate but I didn't listen.....no I'm paying for it because I have to take my baby's daddy to court for full custody when I could have had it by just not putting him on my baby's birth certificate.

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