Wow.... you post for help in a terrifying situation and all you get in reply is more posts saying that you shouldn't do it... as if you decision isn't hard enough.
I had an abortion about 11 years ago at about the same stage as you. Mine was at Planned Parenthood, so I'll let you know what my experience was like; yours will likely be similar.
You are given a pill for the pain, as well as a local anesthetic, but the procedure itself does hurt. I had the option to have a nurse hold my hand, which was incredibly helpful. It doesn't last for very long, and you sit in a recovery room for as long as you need to afterwards. It will hurt for a couple of days after the procedure since your uterus is quickly shrinking back to its original size, so plan for missing a couple of days of school/work. After that you will physically feel just as you did before. A month afterwards you go in for a follow-up appointment to make sure that there is no infection (though if you did have one, you would probably feel it and go to the doc much earlier). My follow-up had a perfectly clean bill of health, and I took great care afterwards to be very careful with my birth control so that I wouldn't have to go through that situation again.
As far as emotionally, everyone is different. I was greatly relieved afterwards. At the time, I was just starting college, and there is no way that I could have finished my schooling and taken care of a child. In addition, I was very recently married, so it is hard to say how my husband and I could have handled developing our own relationshiop while also taking care of a child (he was in school also). The first few years of our marrage did have some rough spots (as all of them do) but it was good that we were able to focus on ourselves and our relationship to get us through them. I am now finishing my master's degree (he completed his 2 years ago), and am now pregnant with our first child - which was planned based on the status of our relationship, carrers, and general livelihoods. Being pregnant again does cause me to reflect upon my abortion, but I'm still glad that I got it. It feels wonderful being in a situation now where I can care for my child in the way that it deserves and provide it with a loving, nurturing environment.
I'm sorry that you do not have support from your family - I never told mine. I did find comfort though in friends that I trusted, and in my husband, for whom it was also a difficult decision. The first couple of the months were difficult, but I think a lot of the emotional difficulty comes from the negative social stigma about abortion, and not from feeling guilt about my decision. Contrary to popular belief, Planned Parenthood does not push abortions, and the doctors there are available if you want to ask more questions about your options, the pros and cons of each, and help you with what is right for your situation.
Anyways, I hope this helps, and I only wish the best for you and your future, whichever is the right road for you to take.
It's your SECOND . You ended the life of your first, but that doesn't mean it was any less your child. I'm really sorry you felt your baby would have been so inconvenient and I firmly disagree with your reasons. Life isn't so perfect. Many college students have babies and make it work and many couples have babies before marriage, at the beginning of marriage, and years after. There's no perfect formula and it doesn't mean your marriage will last forever now. I pray you never have to deal with any other circumstances that go against what you think should happen in life or what you think is perfect timing.
If you dont want the baby, you should consider adoption! I know SOOOO many people who want children and cant have them nor afford adoption. Your gift of life could help another family feel complete. Ive been in a situation where I tried to save a baby. I offered to take the baby myself until the mother was ready, but she did it anyway and regrets it every day. Look for a family that would want to adopt if you really think you cant handle having this baby. Theres nothing wrong about adoption.
bingowings, please do not abort your baby....i speak from experience....i was 20yrs old when i aborted my first child against my own wishes...my parents pushed me into having it done even though i told them over and over i wanted to keep my baby, but as a single girl and a sophomore in college with no job and recently broken up relationship, i gave in to their demands to avoid any more problems at home...both my parents took the day off to take me to the clinic and make sure i went through with it...the people who worked their could care less how i felt...i was about 7-8 wks along and was told i was too far along to get the pill and told me the vacuum method was "the best" option...they didn't explain anything to me, just told me to change and go into the room....i locked myself in the bathroom and cried hsyterically...i didn't want to come out because i knew what was next....my mom kept knocking on the door for me to come out and after what seemed an eternity i heard the nurse tell her to tell me to stop because i was disturbing the other patients....eventually i came out and went through with it...i remember waking up in the "recovery" room still groggy and unable to see clearly, i just heard my parents voices and the first words out of my mouth were God forgive me....i was sent home with pain meds that only kept me in and out of sleep....but that wasn't the end of my pain...it's been almost 9 yrs and i still cry over it....i battled with depression for yrs and was bitter and resentful towards my parents....i've been married for 8yrs now and still have not been able to get pregnant since that awful day...ironically, my parents have asked me what i'm waiting for to have kids...i just turned 29 recently...if they only knew what i've had to go through physically, mentally, and emotionally all these years...the only thing that got me through this was Jesus Christ...i can say that the only good thing that came of this is that through all my pain and misery, the Lord drew me to Him and I gave my life to Jesus as my Lord and Saviour about 3yrs after the abortion...He showed me how to forgive myself and my parents, and has given me peace about my past, He has forgiven every one of my sins, including the abortion....i am a new woman today because of Him and He is using my testimony to reach to other women, to keep them from making the same mistake, regardless of the circumstances...God is the giver of life, so if He has blessed you with this child, it is for a reason...you might not feel like you are ready, but God knows your whole future....don't throw away a blessing based on how you feel or what you think, but be thankful for it and stand firm on who God is....He is the creator and His creation is with purpose...you don't know who your baby could grow up to be....and the fact that your family are telling you not to go through with it is a blessing also, these are people who love you and are willing to be there for you no matter what...wish i had that kind of support when it happened to me...i will be praying for you and the father of your child!
Hi, i havent had an abortion but I was very close, when i was 16 i got pregnant and i was talked into going to a clinic and i was going to go through with it but when i was there i felt completely uneasy and when I went ahead and said im not sure if that was what i wanted to do the nurse started treating me horribly and started trying to convince me that i needed to get the abortion. Well i didnt do it because I just couldnt. It hasnt been easy but I now have my son who is 8 yrs old. at the time when i was considering the abortion i was 10 wks pregnant and since then I have been on pregnancy websites because i have had 2 more children in the last few yrs, and at 10 wks my son was a fully formed tiny baby and the nurse lied to me and told me he wasnt a baby and it was a glob of cells. I am happy with my desicion to keep my child and I can live with myself with the decision i made. I also have to say there are so many people that would love a child and are unable to concieve and they would be the most awesome parents, adoption is a wonderful option, it gives the child the chance to live their life, just like we were blessed to have a life that we are living..... My son of course doesnt know about how i chose life for him 8 yrs ago, but I feel like he would appreciate that I didnt abort him. And one day i believe if i ever do talk about it with him when he is a grown man, I think he will be very glad that I chose life .... There is a song and i think its called "can i live" by Nick Cannon, please find this song. I dont know if you believe in God but God bless you, may he guard you and keep you safe and guide your every path.
My husband had 3 girlfriends that had abortions. He had dreams and nightmares about his babies for years. He got really depressed and didn't know why and sometimes would get really angry and not know why. He is still healing now even though they were so long ago. He wrote this song to help parents heal from lost motherhood and fatherhood. I hope it helps you. http://youtu.be/iRddaP_Yp6A
On another note, instead of going through a lifetime of pain from abortion, if you and your boyfriend don't think you are ready to parent a child, the gift of adoption is wonderful. If you need help finding resources for this or want to place with an open adoption, please let me know. I work with several wonderful organizations that help. God bless. (this is my toll-free business line )
I've not had an abortion but have worked with women who have. A friend of mine met a lady in her 90s who regretted her abortion for 75 years. I think that is tragic. You can find testimonies of post-abortive women at www.silentnomore.com and www.iregretmyabortion.com. I've never met anyone who referred carrying their baby to term, and I have never met anyone who did not regret an abortion.
There are so many things that can go wrong and you will think about the baby you now carry - you will remember him/her on their would-be birthday and when you see another child the same age your baby would've been.
A pregnancy last 9 months (6 or 7 more in your case) but an abortion is for the rest of your life. If you feel you are unable to parent this baby, consider making an adoption plan. Find someone at a pregnancy help center to help you through this. Www.optionline.org
It seems that you have a decent sense of "right" vs. "wrong," since you would feel guilty lying to your family about having an abortion. Imagine how guilty you would feel having killed your own child.
Pregnancy is only temporary - it'll end for you, and you don't have to be a mother if you're not ready. There are so many options available to you that don't require you to pay someone to kill your child.
Please listen to your family. They may know more than you think.
At 11 weeks, you'll receive a surgical abortion - that is, a D&C (dilation and curettage) where they will open your cervix, and use a sharp instrument to tear your baby into pieces and then suction them out. It's a brutally violent act. Doesn't your child deserve better? Don't YOU deserve better? You CAN birth your baby, whatever your circumstances. Please choose life.
My grandmother had an abortion when she discovered she was pregnant with twins. My mother and aunt were very young. She was in the middle of a divorce when she found out. Feeling like she had no choice, she chose abortion. At 80 years old, she still mourns the loss of those children and regrets her decision every day. Please reconsider. This baby is a part of you. Do you want your own child to suffer so horrendously? Do you want to take there chance of irreparable damage, physical & emotional, to yourself, your family? Pray. Watch 180 movie. Find a christian doctor....let him/her speak truth to you. Get an ultrasound done wknd see the baby that is growing inside of you and already loving you unconditionally. Do you know the sound of your heart soothes him/her? That baby will know your voice before he/she is born? I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my fourth baby and I've already heard his heartbeat. I've already felt some movement. The one person that baby trusts is you to keep him safe. If you are unable to care for him, then find a loving family who will. I know so many people who can't have babies and want to adopt. Please reconsider. There are so many other alternatives. Do not murder your innocent baby. Don't put him/her through that. Don't put yourself through that
The procedure itself is irrelevant. For me, it not only had a horrific impact on me emotionally, but also on my mental stability. I held it together for about a year, and then fell into a depression so deep that I could not work; only sleep. I would sleep for sixteen hours, wake up and go right back to sleep because I was just too depressed to deal with life. It took years for me to pull out of that depression, and more years until I finally realized that when God forgives He forgives all sin, completely. He wipes it clean from the record. Only then could I finally forgive myself and have children, but I have never stopped regretting. My son (or daughter but in my mind I always felt it was a boy) would be almost 19 today. An entire lifetime that was meant to be that I ripped away from him or her and erased from the world. Please don't do this. For your child's sake and your own, please don't. The mental affliction that post-abortive women suffer is the same as that of post war soldiers...post traumatic stress disorder. This child is alive. Please don't snuff that life out...it cannot be undone. Many people act like abortion itself is just undoing the pregnancy. It's not. It's ending the life of a tiny baby growing in the safety of it's mother's warm, protective womb. Abortion is ripping that tiny baby apart and sucking it out. It is not the only option you have left. Please take another way. Ask God be with you and guide you. He will...He loves you so much. And He tells us He knows us and knows our names from before we are in the womb. God knows and loves your baby right now, in your tummy. In your heart you know you do, too. Please go another way. I am praying for you right now, in love, through Christ Jesus.
Godspeed to you and your family - you CAN bring your baby to term and place him/her into a loving home! You will be blessed more by this generous decision for life, than for the choice of ending the life of your innocent baby.
Hi, whether you kill your baby by crushing it's head or with tablets (or any of the other ways they do it like injecting saline into the uterus so your baby burns to death), you will still be left with the physical and emotional damage of an abortion. I am yet to meet any woman who is not a diagnosed sociopath (and therefore has no care about other people at all) who does not eventually have regrets over the taking of an innocent child's life.
But even if you believe you will never feel the agonising regret that most women suffer, there is always physical damage no matter what method is used. Any kind of pre-term loss of a baby causes damage, whether it's a miscarriage or an abortion, the female body simply isn't designed for babies to be expelled other than through normal labour. Any sort of medical intervention is a trauma to your body, and many women are left permanently physically scarred.
Please reconsider - you have no idea how lucky you are. From the combination of a medically negligent midwife who was involved in the delivery in my first (and only) child, to the damage done by a cheating husband giving me an STD which has led to cancer up there, I will never have another child. And that ache is worse than anything you can imagine.
I didn't have a choice, my ability to have a child has been ripped away from me - you do have a choice. Don't throw it back in life's face the wonderful gift of a child that you have been given. At the very least, if you can't be happy with the wonderful gift you have been given, then adopt your baby out and give it to one of the many couple's out there who would give anything for a child.
**Crying** The greatest gift you can give yourself and your unborn baby is to adopt. It would be hard but you can't imagine what grief and guilt you are going to have to live with by ending his or hers life. IT WILL NEVER END.
It took us 7 years to have our first child and he was the only one till now. 13 years later at 43 years old I am pregnant with a baby girl. Totally unexpected, not really 'wanted' at my age and I am high risk but we always wanted more children and thought it couldn't happen again. After the shock wore off (which at 23 weeks we are still kind of shocked)I am so overwhelmed that God found favor in us by giving us this blessing. Your baby is your blessing or someone else' if you choose. God has a plan for your child and it starts with life. We would personally take in anyones child to this day and love it as our own without any hesitation. There is a couple out there that aches for your baby. You can have PEACE with knowing you SAVED your baby's life and did not end it. You are in my prayers right now. Bless you.
I had a baby girl at 43 too
What an incredible blessing she has been to our family!
God's word is SO true- children are such a gift! Will pray for a safe pregnancy for you and the plans He has in store for your family and your daughter.
How can we help you and your baby?
What do you need? What does your baby need?
I volunteer for a pregnancy outreach-do you know help is available for you and for your baby right now and is just a phone call away? Women and their babies are helped in so many different ways- encouragement, medical care, housing, clothing, diapers, formula, food, parenting support group or adoption support group and adoption assistance ( the beautiful blessing of open adoption is available)
I had an abortion when I was 21. You have your reasons for thinking this is the best choice for you right now. I understand that. What you don't know is how things will be once you've gone through with it. I can give you an idea of how my life changed...
Every happy place inside my soul died that day, along with my baby.
You can find plenty of support for either decision. I am here to tell you, regardless of my religious beliefs that this was THE biggest mistake of my life.
I want you to know that you DO NOT want to suffer the pure torment in your soul after aborting that baby.
If you are blessed enough to have children down the road and the procedure doesn't leave you sterile, you will be confronted by the miracle that baby inside of you was.
I could go on and on about all the reasons you should find another way to save this baby and yourself...I wish I could hug you and tell you that it would all be ok. This is the best I can do.
I don't know you but I have a heart for you that knows where you are right now. Please, please I BEG you--don't make the same tragic mistake that I have to live with every day of my life.
Dear, don't listen to the idiots saying to watch 180. It's a pseudo-documentary that compares abortion to the holocaust, a comparison that's been slammed by the Anti-Defamation league.
I don't presume to know your reasons or your life, but do remember that there are families who can't have children. Always consider adoption before abortion, but remember also that it's your choice. The people here are using trigger words to try and hurt you, to emotionally beat you into submission, but if you absolutely feel you must have this abortion, do so. It's your choice.
If you're worried, look up the procedure on neutral medical sites, and try to stay away from biased websites and places that these sorts of people can "bomb".
Whatever your choice, remember that it's just that. Your choice.
There is no word that can be written that compares with the emotional "beating" that comes from having an abortion.
I could tell you years of stories of the effect it had on me on SO many levels.
This is my real, honest experience. I don't want to "trigger" your emotions and hurt you! I am trying to save you from the pain of living with your choice haunting you for the rest of your life!!
Please find a pregnancy help center that can work with you and give you adoption and/or assistance options. Just know there are people who really, really want to help you out there. Real people with faces and names and big hearts for girls just like you. Not just an anonymous comment on the computer screen who never has to see you or think about this post again.
Please reconsider and read below. I deeply regret my decisions.
Please reconsider. I had 2 abortions at ages 19 & 21, and to this day I regret the decision I made. No one told me the truth. That your baby in your womb is a human being from the moment of conception, uniquely made, a miracle, a gift from God. The procedure itself was painful, even at 8-10 weeks pregnant. Also had complications, extremely low blood pressure and passed out. But, more importantly, the emotional ramifications after the abortion like depression, even being a "strong" person. Our conscience tells us that abortion is wrong, because God gave us a conscience to know right from wrong. Just because it's legal, doesn't make it morally right. Just recently, I became Christian (at age 45), and it wasn't until that moment, I realized how God viewed abortion. It's killing an innocent child, a human being, no matter how few weeks along the pregnancy is. Please watch 180movie.com. It will give you the answers you're looking for. I wish I had this information 25 years ago. I would have made a completely different decision and would have not had an abortion. Adoption is an option. There are so many loving couples out there who would love to have a baby, who are not able to conceive on their own. Please consider. There are non-profit organizations who help women in a pregnancy crisis, who do NOT support abortion and will lovingly counsel you and, if you choose, refer you to an adoption agency. Are you located in England? I was born in England, but now live in the US and my mother's side of the family still live there. Visiting family in England this year. Praying for you dear, with love and kindness, Sharon.
Dear friend, do yourself a favor and watch "In The Womb" video at http://www.veoh.com/watch/e173467d8mq8Esc.
It is an amazing movie showing the development of a baby from conception to birth. You'll be able to see just what your baby looks like and is doing at this stage of development. Make sure the decision you make will be one you can live with.
All of these things these other people have said are true, no matter the reason that you are doing this the effects it will have on you in the future will be overwhelming. Not to mention the life that will never be able to be what God created him or her to be. I urge you to watch this movie. If you can not keep this child I am sure there is some loving person out there that can not have a child that would give him or her a loving home. I have two boys and almost lost them while I was carrying them and then I had a miscarriage and had to have a hysterectomy, I would have loved to of had another little blessing to enjoy but it didn't work out for me you have the option to give that gift to someone if you decide you can not care for your baby for what ever reason and that choice despite what a lot of people say about those that give up their babies to me it shows that they really love them that they chose to let them live and give them a chance to have a good home and a good family something, someone that can provide for them,the way that for whatever reason they can't at that time. Also with adoption you can choose to have the option to meet or at least find out or see pictures of that child later down the road to find out how they are doing. That seems to be important to a lot of people later on. I wish you the very best.
I have never watched this 180 or whatever it is that some of the people on here are talking about- and I have never had an abortion, though have friends who have had an abortion or two. I personally have had 2 healthy children and have suffered multiple miscarriages for no apparent reason. I have personally suffered from these miscarriages pain in the short term and pain (crampin & bleeding for a few days) along with emotional pain in the long term- Even with my unplanned and inconveiniant (I guess you could say unwanted pregnancies). So I am not sure why anyone would elect to go through any of this and depending on the procedure worse by choice- but thats just it I guess isnt it- choice. I feelfor you going through such a hard time with this- have you tried talking to a counciller and weighing up all options and all of your feelings with them to help you work out your feelings no matter what you try.
I have heard and read about both methods- quite often they use vacuum method - and I hate to say or think about it but it IS true that the fetus/baby (whatever you are ready to call it) is ripped appart limb by limb in order for it to be removed from your body, from what I have read and spoken with friends (who have had it done) it can ache and even hurt but it is only for a short time- however, pain (cramping) and bleeding can be a result for a few days-weeks. I new one lovely lady who struggled to conceive for over 10 years after her abortion - she had to use IVF in the end and hasnt been able toconceive another. Some say its painful but another friend of mine said that hers was done at a clinic where they put her under a light general anistetic for an hour soshe didnt have to see, hear or feela thing.Someone else I know went to the doctors and they just gave her a pill which caused her to miscarry the baby- they then gave her a blood test in 2 weeks time to ensure she was no longer pregnant. So I think it all depends on where you go- personally if you choose to have this doneI would be finding out about the abortion pill method (not sure if they call it that) but it seems the least PAINFUL for all parties envolved - but I am not sure whether they would allow that it would kind of depend on how far along in the pregnancy you are. Good luck and talk to someone maybe a counciller preferably before going through with it all because you need (no matter your choice) to be able to feel confident that you can deal with your emotions regarding everything because if you are feeling this bad now what are you going to be like afterwards- you need to talk to someone for your sake (no matter what you choose- you need to be able to deal with whatever choice without throwing yourself in a deep dark hole for want of a better term) Best of luck