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awaiting an abortion not sure what to expect help please (Page 2)

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February 11th, 2012
in response to the woman who's to have an abortion in 3 weeks
When abortions first became legal in Minnesota, I had one. I was 6 weeks. I remember when they put the vacuum in, and I heard a thunk. It hesitated for a minute. I asked what happened, the doctor said, "that was the fetus." He told me that the vacuum pulled each limb off, but sometimes with the head it stuck for a minute, in the tube. I had this abortion about 30 years ago. I felt I was fine, because I believed that it wasn't really a baby yet. This was all intellectually- but, my heart knew better. I ended up going through a lot of hell because of it, it took years of therapy for me to finally put two and two together. I finally asked for forgiveness, I even named and wrote a letter to the baby I murdered. I have 5 living children, I still tend to tell people I have 6. There's a hole there, that will never be filled. I had 4 of the children AFTER the abortion, you think maybe I was trying to fill that hole? Yes, I KNOW now that I was.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Hi there,

This issue is something I have become strong on these past 3 weeks, and the reason is my 15 year old became pregnant and I have fought for that babies life for 3 weeks now. 13 years ago, I had an abortion. It was the most awful experience and I would not ever wish that on anyone. I am a Christian and I believe in God's law, but at that time I felt so pressured by my boyfriend at the time, and the fact I didnt make a lot of money, how would I finish school, how could I give my baby what she/he needed? I made that fateful mistake, I didn't have anyone who reached out to me to tell me there are always other options. Our baby didn't ask to be put in a place where his/her life is at risk, our baby seeks the womb as a safety net. Abortion may seem like the easy route out and a fast fix, but in reality it is not. I became depressed, guilty and ashamed that I had not allowed that child life when I knew that baby deserved all the rights we have, I began to drink and I would grive every year near the anniversary date of my childs death. I have grieved for these past 13 years. With my daughter becoming pregnant and suddenly considering abortion, I needed to protect her from all the negative things that would come. There are always other options. Sometimes we can't fathom keeping a baby in our womb and giving her/him up for adoption, whether it be open or closed. But, it is giving life. And I can guarantee if that is what needs to be done, it will be hard, but you will have great joy in knowing your child was given life. I wrote a message to my aborted baby just a few days ago when I finally was able to and I named her, after 13 years. This is what I sent to her in a balloon to heaven:

""Your name is Sarah. You died 13 years ago, and I live with that regret every day of my life. I had a part of that choice. I sealed your fate before you were even born. Although you wanted LIFE I chose DEATH. I was young, selfish and foolish and allowed a relationship that I knew would never go anywhere to make my choice. Noone there to be supportive or let me know there was another way. LIFE! That is no excuse, I still made that choice and forever I will be a mother of not just two but three. Two children who live, and one who died. I would not ask that anyone experience the hurt, the depression, the suicidal thoughts, the drug use or one of the reasons I hide in my room with a bottle in my hand. I wouldn't have those regrets, had I done what was right. It wasn't my place to make that choice. Your Mother" I always love you.

Please watch this and know that 24 days after conception, that tiny little heart is beating. , At 8 weeks after conception, your baby has fingerprinst, at 9 weeks, your baby's face, hands, and feet sense light touch. Your baby can also swallow and stick out his/her tongue. At 10 weeks, your baby can hiccup and suck its thumb.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPPkXe8KUg0

I know what you are going through can be hard, but if you need to talk more, please email me. I am here for you. ~Amanda~
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replied February 11th, 2012
Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

I have had two abortions and regret it so much. You have no idea the anguish and sadness you will feel once you kill your baby. Please reconsider your decision. Consider adoption or even open adoption.
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replied February 11th, 2012
reconsider
Sweet heart, please listen to the two girls above me. Watch the 180movie, actually do that and google what those methods do. I have a few words of wisdom for you; God creates every child for a reason, that child has life from the moment from conception. I know you're scared, I know that you feel like you cannot support this child mentally, finacially, phyisically, or whatever. That child will love you unconditionally, and already does. That innocent baby does not deserve to die, if you feel you cannot do it please consider adoption, please consider that childs life. God has a plan for everyone.

Another thing the clinic tries to tell you your 'fetus' isn't a baby yet. But think about it, how do they know life isn't in that child yet? There are one celled organisims that they consider alive and yet a multicelled infant isn't? When it has a brain, a nervous system, a heart, and nerves... which means it can feel pain. It can feel death. The nerves develop just after the brain, which is what is telling the heart to beat. In just a few weeks you can hear it's heart beat with a doppler, in just a few weeks later you can feel its first kicks, and a few weeks later you can find out the gender.

Your baby deserves a chance. Please please please, don't put your baby or yourself through this. All children are a blessing.
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replied February 11th, 2012
To have baby or to abort...
I believe your emotions are not simply hormonal, although they do play a role right now. Your emotions are a response to your deepest feelings. After an abortion the emotions will continue to respond, only it will be to the loss of your baby and remorse over something you will not be able to go back and change, it will be done, the baby will be dead. I speak from experience. There is emotional trauma after an abortion that I cannot put into words on a message board. Your heart will be very broken, very deeply broken. I am hoping you will be spared of this trauma. While you may feel like you have no other options right now, or that you know you've already made up your mind, it is not too late to realize this is your baby, your offspring, a life that has amazing potential. It is not too late to change your mind. I also have a son who is now an adult, raised him as a single parent (of course with help from many resources) and he has been the biggest blessing of my life, now raising his own family. There are many resources out there to help carry you through being a Mom, and if you can't be a Mom right now there are many out there who want to be a Mom and can't but could with help from your offer of adoption. I know it's a scary time which is why I had my abortion but oh how I wish I didn't do it, I could have made it with a little help from resources. I mourn the loss more than 20 years later. I know she would be a girl in her early 20's right now and only heaven knows what wonderful things she'd be doing with her life and how she'd be a blessing to others. It sounds like you may have some good support for choosing to carry your baby to living term. You say your family members think an abortion is the wrong decision. Perhaps they have some support and answers, and if not there are other support services out there who can really help you understand either how to parent or how to offer someone else the chance to parent the baby. Your life can be amazing and blessed in numerous ways by having your baby. I am hoping you really listen to your conscience. It takes courage, but I know you can do this. Here's to heart felt hope for you and your baby.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Sweet heart, please listen to the two girls above me. Watch the 180movie, actually do that and google what those methods do. I have a few words of wisdom for you; God creates every child for a reason, that child has life from the moment from conception. I know you're scared, I know that you feel like you cannot support this child mentally, finacially, phyisically, or whatever. That child will love you unconditionally, and already does. That innocent baby does not deserve to die, if you feel you cannot do it please consider adoption, please consider that childs life. God has a plan for everyone.

Another thing the clinic tries to tell you your 'fetus' isn't a baby yet. But think about it, how do they know life isn't in that child yet? There are one celled organisims that they consider alive and yet a multicelled infant isn't? When it has a brain, a nervous system, a heart, and nerves... which means it can feel pain. It can feel death. The nerves develop just after the brain, which is what is telling the heart to beat. In just a few weeks you can hear it's heart beat with a doppler, in just a few weeks later you can feel its first kicks, and a few weeks later you can find out the gender.

Your baby deserves a chance. Please please please, don't put your baby or yourself through this. All children are a blessing.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Amie0808 and bingowings I will be praying for both of you. If no one has ever told you this, please take this to heart. You are loved. Not only are you loved, but you are loved DEEPLY and unfailingly by your Heavenly Father. Nothing you do or say will change that. Know also that God has equipped you to handle being a mother, even though you don't feel strong enough. I honestly don't know of any mom (or dad) who feels strong enough or capable enough to be a parent. I know this is scary stuff. When we brought our son home, I cried and cried because I was so scared that I would screw something up. When I was 19 and scared that I might be pregnant, I didn't know what I would do. God knows you can't go through this alone and wants you to reach out to Him for strength. If you allow Him, He will carry you through this. There IS help out there.
If you choose to go through with this, know that you are STILL loved by your Heavenly Father. But know that He equally loves the baby growing inside you right now. Know that your baby will always have a Father who loved him/her from the day he/she was formed in your womb.
It IS ultimately your choice, but know that God wants you to choose life and wants you to choose to trust Him to provide the way. It may seem an impossible situation, but with God ALL things are possible. I guarantee, you won't regret your choice if you let Him take the wheel.
Love to both of you from a mom of two kids (ages 18 and 10).
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replied February 11th, 2012
reply to abortion scheduled in 3wks
it's been a year since I had my abortion. if your in tears now, you have no idea what your in store for. I'd hear babies crying for weeks, I had a personality disorder, I fell into depression, I became suicidal. my partner and I also decided on aborting the child and we were both knowledgable with the baby's growth etc but I allowed myself to be deceived and naive to what I was actually doing. there's a life inside of you althought they say it's just a piece of tissue or just a fetus. I regretted th decision th very next day. I looked at my hands and burst into tears. my boyfriend also fell into depression. I know your cons outweigh the pros but trust me, those cons will be your pros when your mentally and spiritually stable. there's assistance out there, u can have your family, Be there for eachother...God already knows your baby's name. ur in tears because you want your families support, your baby I'm sure would be in tears if they knew they didn't have your support... basically, you're just like them. your gonna regret it and hurt really bad. I've been in your shoes, I speak from experience. be th mom you were meant to be, or let someone else love your baby as they were meant to. don't believe for one second your problem will go away once you abort. a part of u does die along with th child... if your right in the head. definitely watch 180. I wish I had. God win this battle...
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replied February 11th, 2012
Your baby is just that - a baby. It's not a blob of tissue.
Your baby is just that - a baby. It's not a blob of tissue.

Your baby's heart has been already beating for a long time now. At 11 weeks, he/she can feel pain. He/she will not be given any anethesia. He/she will feel all the pain of being torn apart by the vacuum, limb by limb.

You will feel physical pain, but the worst pain will be the emotional & spiritual pain that you will be in afterwards. The people that want you to get the abortion will not be there to help you afterward. If you parents and your family are telling not to get the abortion, please listen to them.

There are a lot of people praying for you now, people that you do not even know, to make the right decision.

If you have never seen a sonogram of your baby, please go and get one, but do NOT get it at the abortion clinic. Please do this now, before your abortion date. I guarantee you that if you see a sonogram of your baby, you will fall in love with him/her. If you cannot keep the baby, you can always put him/her up for adoption.
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replied February 11th, 2012
I wish i had had this advice before going thru with it... I have gotten to see my sister fall in love 3 time as she watched her "little blob" move about and its heart beat... the look of love was so much more intense when those beautiful girls where born. regretting it every single day... my life will never be the same.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Please don't do it. I had an abortion and I was second guessing myself right up to the moment the abortion happened... if you are already finding it hard to deal with it will only get worse.. .the guilt overcame me to the point that i didn't want to live anymore... this is the wrong choice, trust me you will hate yourself.
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replied February 11th, 2012
The physical pain, bleeding etc will subside but the emotional and psychological scars will last forever. Please take the next few weeks getting informed. Go to your local crisis pregnancy center. The 180 movie is great too. Your family obviously loves you. Let them help. I choose to abort my baby over 20 years ago. I did not know how bad this would hurt. It never goes away. The heartache and regret are eternal. Let your baby live. Seek an open adoption if you cannot parent. You will never regret sacrificing 30 more weeks. I wish I had.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Answering Waiting for Abortion
Please don't abort your baby...you are the babyies mother, you are your babies protector. Your baby will feel the pain, your baby has all its organs, heart and brain waves...it just needs the rest of the pregnancy to grow. Please read my story.....it may seem like a quick fix but it will be a lifetime of regret, pain, and hurt. You are getting ready to kill a live baby...just remember that. There is never a good reason to abort. Any partner that is okay with you aborting, you may want to abort the relationship. I work at a crisis pregnancy center....abortion is murder...sorry, not any other way to say it. You will live with that horror the rest of your life. Do the right thing....have the baby, and place for adoption. That is the most selfless act of love you can do for your child, a child that deserves a chance at life.

I have had 3 abortions. My life since these abortions has been a train wreck: 3 marriages, drugs, alcohol, depression, guilt, shame. I never knew why I was such a mess. My first one was at 20. I had no idea at that time I was killing a child. I cried after the first one, and the second. After the third one, I was very ill. I had an infection the very next morning. I was sick for about a month. As I went through my life I stuffed my abortions so far down. I was in such denial. I was pro-choice for a long time. It was just until the last 3 years that I started the process of getting out of denial of what I had done. I started attending a Bible study and God was gently nudging me to come clean on what I had done. I found a post abortive woman's group. It was based on the Bible and God's forgiveness. I had no idea that I had killed 3 children. I had no idea that I was a mom. I was in so much pain and sickened by what I had done. I had denied my children their lives because of my selfish and destructive behavior. Today, I am a mother of 3 children that are in heaven with their heavenly Father. Not a day goes by that I don't grieve the loss of my children and regret what I have done. There are no "do-over's" with abortion. It is only by the mercy and grace of God that I am alive today. It is only by his amazing forgiveness and love that I can talk about what I did. I have dedicated my life to fighting abortion. I pray that God will use me to tell the truth of what abortion is. I currently volunteer my time as a consultant at a Christian based pregnancy crisis center. I can't wait for the day that I meet my children. And, I pray that they will forgive me. All that I do in the fight to end abortion is to honor my children and God. Thank you Lord for your unending mercy and grace.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Please have a sonogram and really look at your baby. At 11 weeks, he/she looks like a tiny baby. At 12 weeks I had a sonogram done because being advanced maternal age, they wanted to check the fluid at the brain stem. My little man was arching his back, stretching both arms over his head...I could make out every bone of his spine and I could see his heart beating.

If you don't feel ready to be a mom, be a mom in the greatest sense of the word and at least give your baby life. I know a couple in MD who has been looking to adopt. I know so many couples who have adopted and the children are greatly loved and have wonderful lives. My own mother was adopted!!! Had her mom not given her life and given her up for adoption, it wouldn't have just murdered her. It would have meant that *I* wouldn't have been born. My 4 children wouldn't have been born. This is bigger than you and your partner. Of the women I know who have had abortions, EVERY single one of them regrets it. Some have never had other children. One wonders if it was the daughter she has always longed for but never had.

No matter what anyone tells you, you are NOT doing your baby any favors by killing him/her. There was a story done 20 years ago at least that talked about fetuses trying to swim away during an abortion. Sad In some cases they stab the babies in the back of the head with scissors which the babies FEEL. They suction their brains out to collapse the head so it can come out of the birth canal. Other times they use the vaccum which as someone else said, RIPS the baby apart.

Tell you what, go look at this link. If you can read and view this link and still go through with murdering your baby, more power to you. http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in% 20America/Abortion%20is%20Murder/horror_of _abortion.htm

Personally, I am hoping you will give this baby life, even if it is with another family. It's the most loving, selfless thing you could do for your baby. There will NEVER be another baby like this one, even if you stay with your partner and one day have more children. PLEASE, look at your baby on a sonogram screen and you will see what I mean. Should you decide to have your baby and raise him/her, no it won't always be easy, but when you see your baby smile at you, reach for you for comfort or just to give you love or to kiss you or when he/she says "I love you", you will be reminded every time, every day how lucky you are.
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replied February 11th, 2012
http://ehealthforum.com/health/your-storie s-about-medical-abortion-needed-t192194.ht ml

you can read many of the other stories of things that go wrong medically, things go wrong more often then you know. not just the damage to yourself but the horror stories of seeing a part of your baby fall out after the the doctor sends you home
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replied February 11th, 2012
Sweet heart, please pray about what you are thinking of doing. If you and your partner don't want the baby now, you can always put him/her up for adoption. I was put up for adoption at 3 months old. I am glad that my birth mom didn't have an abortion. I am now 44 yrs old. God will be there for you no matter what you deceide.
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replied February 11th, 2012
You really should talk to someone who is willing to tell you the truth about your options and to help you. Please do it, call 1-800-395-HELP, to reach Option Line. http://www.optionline.org/. Just call them, please.
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replied February 11th, 2012
Aside from the advice that you got from everyone else, I ask you to get an ultrasound to see what the baby looks like before you go through with this. When I got one at 11 weeks I could count her fingers and toes. Most cities have places where you can get free ultrasounds.
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replied February 12th, 2012
https://www.facebook.com/groups/288841767846967/ Come talk to us
We all care about you and your baby. I know it seems overwhelming hearing from a bunch of strangers, but we truly care! I had an abortion 30 years ago, I still struggle with the loss of that innocent life. I know things seem hopeless now, but abortion will only make it worse. You won't beable to forget that live, ever. There are people that can help you. So many people would care for your baby if you feel you can't. The best gift you can give your child and yourself, is choose life. P L E A S E! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phTC5YqhMss
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